Hangar 39

Joe Flacco's terrible INT vs. Green Bay

2009-12-11T08:20:00.003-05:00

UGH! What was he thinking?!?!?!?!?

Speaking of new Capitals...

2009-07-01T23:38:00.003-04:00

I'm a little late to the party on this one but I'd be remiss if I didn't say something about the Caps first round draft pick this year, Swedish centre Marcus Johansson. Here's some video (in Swedish no less!)

I wasn't so sure about this pick when the Caps made it. Personally, I liked Carter Ashton better, since he was a big guy who could play the wing. I hadn't heard of him being on anybody's radar in the first round, but by all accounts he's your typical Swedish centreman: around six feet tall, good playmaker with solid defensive skills, nothing flashy. The good news is that Johansson played in the Swedish Elite League (maybe the top pro hockey league outside the US) as an 18 year old, which is good, and Caps management liked his performance at the World Junior Championships this year. We'll probably see Johansson in Hershey in 2010-11 I would think, since Swedish players tend to take an extra year in the Elite League before coming over. Hopefully GM George McPhee knows what he's doing with this one.

Meet Your Newest Capital...

2009-07-01T23:20:00.002-04:00

...Mr. Mike Knuble.

Deal is for 2 years, $5.8 milly for the ex-Flyer. Love this signing for the Caps. This was the sort of guy the team needed last year. Some beef and some scoring muscle on the front line. Knuble is a garbage goal scorer extradinaire and if he's skating on a line with Alex Ovechkin, he'll get lots of chances for garbage goals. Knuble is a big man (6'3, 230) and was supposedly very popular with the Philly fans and his teammates. As long as he's healthy, Knuble should score 25 goals easily on this team. Plus, as a break from the influx of Swedes and Russians the Caps have added over the last few years, he's a good, all-round American boy (born in Toronto but raised just outside of Grand Rapids, Michigan). Oh, and he also was a Caps killer in Philadelphia. Anyone want to remember this double OT goal in the 2008 playoffs?

MVP #2

2009-06-19T14:02:00.003-04:00

So which is the more demonic looking Ovechkin picture: this? Or this?

Hmm, the lighting on this year's photo makes Ovie look downright sinister but the red tux from last year gave more of a Mephostopholes aura. Regardless, congrats to the Great 8 on MVP #2. Now, let's get the big hardware next year, eh?

Hockey Day At Kettler

2009-06-17T23:30:00.007-04:00

I've been meaning to post this since Monday but, the Hangar being the Hangar, I'm just now getting to it as Wednesday turns to Thursday.

Anyway, this past Saturday I had the pleasure of skating at the Capitals practice facility, Kettler Capitals Iceplex in Arlington, Va. I decided to be a true weekend warrior and skate both the morning pick-up session at 10:45 am and the night session at 9:10 pm. Oh, and all on maybe 4 hours of sleep (don't ask).

Before I get to the hockey stuff, allow me to vent for a sec. First things first. Traffic in the District sucks. Entering the District on Route 50/New York Avenue is like driving the Sunset Strip without the glam metal history, bars, gaudy advertising and bizarre looking hipsters. Only it goes on for miles. Alas, going through the District was the easiest way to do this, barring taking the Beltway halfway into Virginia only to u-turn back into DC. On a bad day it might take half a decade to navigate the Beltway, so going through the District I would have to do.

Once you get past the Pentagon (at least on this particular route) things are rather smooth. Your road eventually leads you into a neighborhood called Ballston, which like many a place in suburban Virginia, is full of fast food joints, strip malls and roads with no signs. The Iceplex, oddly enough, is located on the 8th floor of a parking garage (seriously). In fact, you wouldn't even know where it was if not for the huge banners with pics of Alex Ovechkin, Mike Green and Rod Langway.

Once you wind your way through the parking garage, the rink beckons at the top. Its an impressive place with the huge Capitals logo on the front. I headed inside, paid for my session and headed to the locker room, which had huge pictures of different NHl legends on it. This room had Stan Mikita, Wayne Gretzky and some others on it (just remember that the locker rooms had this feature for later.)

I got suited up and headed through the doors to the Caps practice rink. Everything you see on TV is there, including the staging area for TV interviews and the large pictures of Dale Hunter, Mike Gartner, Yvon Labre and Rod Langway (all of whom have their numbers retired at Verizon Center.) Upstairs from the ice are what look like offices for members of the Caps front office.

Now for my favorite part of this place: the ice. It's unbelievably smooth. I've played at the Caps two previous practice rinks (Mt. Vernon and Piney Orchard) as well as the old Capital Centre and none of them felt like the had ice like this. The rink was well air-conditioned so the ice froze easily and when the ice is smooth, you feel very fast out there. It might not be as great to others as it was to me, but then again, I'd just played at a rink in Harrington, De. that was absolute shit. In Harrington, the ice was absurdly heavy because it was a) too warm in the rink b) meaning the ice didn't dry c) meaning by the third period of a hockey game it was like skating in quicksand.

The morning session was a good skate. Skill level was a little lacking but we did have two (and eventually three) goalies and each side had two subs to keep guys fresh. Like I said, the crowd seemed to be geared more towards beginner to intermediate skill level, with a couple of advanced level guys mixed in. Still, it was a tough skate and it certainly gave me a workout.

So after the first session, I had about, oh I don't know, 8 hours to kill in Arlington because I didn't want to drive across the Bay Bridge again. So I did what comes naturally to me, I found the nearest Borders bookstore and wasted a couple hours in there before leaving without buying anything. I'm glad those Borders stores are so big that they don't notice me doing this. Oh, and I also discovered that Virginia might have the worst drivers in the US. Slow like Delaware, crazy like Maryland. People there just dart all the fuck over the place and then drive really slow once they get in front of you.

So flashing forward another few hours (and another DC traffic jam) I prepared for session 2. I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Kettler's pro shop, which has every piece of Caps merchandise known to man, as well as the fact that Kettler is not the name of a man or a town but of a property development company. Much hunch is that Ted Leonsis owns it.

Now, for session 2 we had a different locker room. Same theme, NHL stars on the wall, except in this locker room we had a blown up portrait of this...

You won't find a bigger Alex Ovechkin fan than yours truly but this might have been a little too much. I really don't need a demonic looking Ovie watching me suit up.

Session 2 was the opposite of session 1. This time, the skill level was really high but we had no extra bodies. There was one kid on my team who would not shut the fuck up the whole time. To make it worse, his buddies on the other team were skating circles around him while he was talking. In the kid's defense, he did eventually shut up and play and exhibited some skill. As for me, I was exhausted, not just from the hard morning skate but the four hours sleep was catching up to me. It took me some time to get used to the speed the other guys were playing at but once I adjusted to that, I thought I held my own with them.

All told, it was a fun day of hockey that I will surely do again sometime. I just need to remind myself to actually get some sleep next time.

A New Bleacher Report Article

2009-06-16T21:00:00.004-04:00

Still haven't heard from the Bleacher Report people about the NFL correspondents contest but that didn't stop me from offering my 2 pennies about the Brandon Marshall-to-the-Ravens rumors that started flying the minute word got out that Marshall asked for a trade out of Denver. Here's the link. Enjoy suckas.

Interesting Item From One Of My Fav Writers

2009-06-15T14:56:00.003-04:00

To me, Jeff Pearlman is one of the best sports writers in the biz. He's got a very understated but highly readable style and isn't afraid to show the good, the bad and the ugly of sports personalities. He even tried to show that there were some good aspects to a detestable character like Barry Bonds. So in the course of reading Pearlman's blog I came across this interesting story about writers befriending the athletes they cover.

Now, having had a little bit of experience in covering pro athletes (although Jeff covers baseball and I've done football) I can tell you I wholeheartedly agree with Pearlman on this one. I don't see how a writer can be buddy-buddy with his subjects and yet cover them objectively.

To me, a beat writer, on any beat whether you're covering pro athletes or the President, needs to be James Bond. You need to cover your subjects coldly and objectively. Your subjects need to know you but not really know you. By that I mean the subject has to know you enough that he/she feels like he/she trusts you with information. But at the same time, they can't necessarily know you on a friendly level. One of the best guys I've seen at this is Jamison Hensley, the beat writer for the Ravens the past 9 years. When I've seen Jamison around the media and locker rooms, I get the sense the players and coaches know him (obviously since he spends so much time around them) but that they don't really know him beyond what he does for a living. I respect that he can do the gig that long and maintain a certain distance. At least that's the way it seems to me.

Now I've certainly been around and covered athletes that I've thought, "He seems like a good dude." Derrick Mason, Haloti Ngata, Troy Smith, Marshal Yanda, Adrian Peterson and Mike Adams were all football players I've questioned and came away thinking were genuinely nice guys. But at the same time, I'm not sure I would want to hang out with pro athletes. After all, what do I have in common with a guy like Ray Lewis or even Todd Heap? The answer, probably not much. Certainly, as a reporter, you become comfortable with some guys more than others. I mean, why should I interview a moody guy like Bart Scott when I could talk to a guy like Ngata who is typically calm and accomodating even after the worst of losses.

I know from watching them that some of the columnists do buddy up to the players a little bit. At least some of the local ones. Having watched them interact, I always suspected that Jason Brown was one of the guys feeding Mike Preston info about the state of the locker room in 2007. Of course, I could be wrong. In Mike's defense, as columnist, he's supposed to be providing a fan's point of view but with insider access. And in Jason's defense, nobody wants to have their name associated with quotes or rumors about a locker room in disarray (which the 2007 Ravens certainly were). One thing I like about Preston is that he's not afraid to go into the room and face guys he's ripped in the paper. Jay Mariotti was notorious for ripping members of the Chicago White Sox and not going into the room to face the music. In Mike's case, he's helped by the fact that he's about 6'2 250+ pounds, whereas Mariotti is a twerp. Still, I respect that Mike is willing to go in there and take the barbs from guys like Terrell Suggs and laugh it off. He tells it the way he sees it and, like it or lump it (as Sidney Crosby might say) it's hard to knock a columnist for that.

I guess what I'm getting at here is that sports reporting is at the same time a difficult job and a rewarding job. It's difficult because you are dealing with the whims and moods of pro athletes, all of whom have more money than you'll ever see in a lifetime and most of whom have been trained since high school to regard reporters as the enemy. But at the same time, I can't think of a cooler job. You get to watch football games and be catered for free. People actually pay for the priviledge of reading what you write. And the best part is, publishers pay you to watch and write about games. So if you ever see a sports writer bitching about how hard his job his, let your boy at the Hangar know. I'll volunteer to ease his burden.

Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad...

2009-06-15T14:24:00.007-04:00

I'm a little late on this one (what else is new) but the Washington Capitals made it 2 out of 3 in organ-EYE-zation championships this past Friday as the team's AHL affiliate, the Hershey Bears, won their record 10th Calder Cup title with a 4-1 Game 6 victory over the Manitoba Moose. Goalie Michal Neuvirth was named the playoff MVP. Between Neuvirth and Caps playoff hero Simeon Varlamov, the Caps future in goal looks bright indeed.

So while the Pittsburgh Penguins may have gotten the guns, the Caps have the numbers with both the AHL and ECHL (South Carolina Stingrays) affiliates win their leagues. Here now is a cool YouTube clip, taken by a Moose fan, of the celebration and the Calder Cup presentation.

Best parts of these two vids? The classy applause from the Moose fans in Winnipeg and the videographer's "eh's?" Spoken like a true Canadian. Way to go Stingrays and way to go Bears! Your move Caps.

One More For Thursday...

2009-06-11T16:34:00.003-04:00

I'm on a roll today, so how 'bout one more before I leave the office (yes, I am writing these silly blogs on company time).

So the big news before tomorrow night's Game 7 between the Penguins and Red Wings is the news that Wings defenceman Nicklas Lidstrom had previously suffered a "nearly catastrophic" testicle injury. Yes, a testicle injury.

Now, for a man, there are two places on your anatomy that can be injured that can make another man quiver in his boots. The first is any injury to the throat. Getting punched, slashed or anything in the throat can, at times, be vomit inducing. The other, of course, is the nuts. Getting in the nuts doesn't just hurt. If hit hard enough, it takes the wind out of you. Your balls feel like they've just been mashed with a sledgehammer. You can't stand straight. And the worst part is, it's not a noticable hurt. Only you know the agony you're in. How do I know? I got hit in the balls with a puck last year playing a hockey tournament in Laurel and my nuts didn't stop aching for 3 days.

With that said, magnify that by 100 in Lidstrom's case. Allegdly, Blackhawks forward Patrick Sharp gave Lidstrom the business with his stick right between the legs. I just can't believe Lidstrom only missed two games. There's a lot of things you can say about men and their balls, but the words "nearly catastrophic" shouldn't be anywhere near them.

Still, as bad as Lidstrom's injury sounds, it doesn't hold a candle to Flyers forward Patrick Thoresen getting hit in the nuts with a Mike Green shot in last year's playoffs.

You can actually sort of hear Thoresen scream in agony (over 18,000 screaming people no less) when he gets hit. That's how bad getting hit in the balls hurts. You get hit in the sack like that, no wonder Thoresen went back to Europe.

The Continued Awesomeness of Between The Buried And Me...

2009-06-11T16:24:00.003-04:00

I've mentioned how cool this band is before (or at least how I find them cool) and they're working on a new album which hopefully will rock. A couple years ago BTBAM put out a covers album called "The Anatomy Of..."(which I need to get) and it begs the question...how many metal bands could pull off a ridiculous song like Queen's "Bicycle Race" this well?

...or absolutely nail Pink Floyd's "Us And Them" with the guitar player playing the sax solo?

The answer: nobody. Hopefully for their next Queen cover, they'll do "Flash"
"Flash/AWWWWWWAAA/Savior of the Universe!"

Gimme This, Gimme That

2009-06-11T15:19:00.013-04:00

...And no, this post is not just an excuse to put up this Alice Cooper video...

This is shit that I would want if I had just a smidge more dough. Or if Easton law enforcement hadn't help take a shitload of it (don't ask). And like Veruca Salt, I want it NOW!!!

Skull Bowling Ball

I have no practical reason to want this. I don't really bowl regularly but I'll tell you, if I had this ball, I probably would. Hell, I'd turn into the next Walter Sobchek just to walk into a room and pull this intimidating monstrosity out of a bag. Combine this with a cool ass bowling shirt...

...and I'll be a motherfuckin' bowler in no time.

Ibanez rs321mh and Ibanez Artcore afs75t
I recently took up guitar playing as a new hobby. Not with any intention of being one of those guitar assholes like this slapdick...

...no, no. My only real reason for wanting to take up the hobby was to learn some bad ass metal jams. Alas, the guitar I'm working with now is a knock-off piece of shit that's a bitch to keep in tune and probably needs more work than its worth.

So, I'd love to get the above Ibanez model. Ibanez makes some great metal guitars, since they use thinner necks that enable faster playing, plus Ibanez models have great sustain. To make it even more appealing, Ibanez lists the price at $400, so it's very affordable. Here's a demonstation I found on YouTube. Check out how long this guys sustains on note on this thing...

The other one I wouldn't mind possessing, they actually have at my local music store. It's another Ibanez but this one is from their Artcore series. Ibanez put out a bunch of these hollow-body guitars under the Artcore name. Hollow body's are mainly used by jazz, blues and rockabilly guitar players (Billy Duffy of the Cult is the only real rock guy I've seen use one but he used a Gretch Falcon). Hollow body's aren't great rock/metal guitars, since they give off a lot of feedback when you run gain (distortion) from your amp. Still, this axe reeks of badassery...

The best part is, these guitars are really affordable, running around $400-$500. The one I saw at the local music store was about $450 and was in blue, I think.

Bulldog

Longtime readers (all 5 of you) know all about this one, so I won't elaborate much further on this one. Let's just say that at some point, I will be the embarrassing guy in the park with a dog that's wearing a mini-Joe Flacco jersey

The Baltimore Orioles

Because Peter Angelos can't run them in the ground any worse.

One Championship For The Capitals Organ-EYE-zation

2009-06-06T11:52:00.004-04:00

While the Caps season has been over for a little while now, both of the team's minor league affiliates, the AHL's Hershey Bears and the ECHL's South Carolina Stingrays, made their respective finals. In other words, the Caps may be the only team in the chain to NOT win a championship.

Well, chalk it up at 1-for-1, as the Stingrays won the ECHL's Kelly Cup, defeating the Alaska Aces. The Stingrays had taken a 3-1 lead over the Aces, before losing Game 5 in Charleston, SC and Game 6 in Anchorage to force a Game 7. But the Stingrays managed to avoid the fate that has befell the Caps over the years and fought back to beat the Aces 4-2 on Alaska's home ice. Trent Campbell got the winning goal for the Stingrays and Rays goalie James Reimer was named playoff MVP.

(By the way, how sweet are those Alaska Aces uniforms? Nice)
Here's a link to the game story.

As for the Bears, they are tied 1-1 in their series for the AHL's Calder Cup with the wonderfully named Manitoba Moose. The Bears took Game 1 in Winnipeg in overtime, while the Moose took Game 2 3-1. Games 3&4 will be played on back-to-back nights in Hershey, Pa, tonight and tomorrow.

Interesting Stuff About The Ravens...

2009-06-03T15:59:00.003-04:00

SI's Don Banks put together an interesting piece wondering who would be the Team Of The Decade for the 2000s. Based on Super Bowl titles, the top two were obvious: New England and Pittsburgh. The Indianapolis Irsays came in 3rd (makes sense) followed by Philadelphia (lots of wins, no Super Bowls) and the NY Giants (two Super Bowl appearances, one win) and then, The Good Guys...

6. Baltimore
Regular season: 83-61, .576Playoff wins/record: 7-4Super Bowls won/appeared: 1 of 1Playoff seasons: 5Winning seasons: 6Losing seasons: 3
The Ravens have undoubtedly ridden the roller coaster this decade, only once putting together back-to-back double-digit win seasons (2000 and 2001). But when you total it all up, they've been in the playoffs five times, won seven postseason games, a Super Bowl trophy, and posted three seasons with 11 or more victories. That's not too shabby for a once-vilified franchise that won only 24 games in its first four seasons after relocating from Cleveland.

Can't complain about the Ravens placement. Six sounds about right. They should be top 10 given they have a Super Bowl title, two division titles and five playoff appearances this decade. But their inconsistency keeps them out of the top 5. I agree with the top three but personally, I'd put the Giants ahead of the Eagles based on their one Super Bowl win. Cool article though.

Final Bleacher Report Article..

2009-05-29T01:34:00.002-04:00

Yes, I worked late again, but hey, I got done almost a whole hour earlier than I have the last two nights. Here's the last of my mandated articles for Bleacher Report, this one on the Ravens coaching staff. Enjoy.

Working Late Night Again...

2009-05-28T02:16:00.003-04:00

I really have to do these after a more reasonable hour. Oh well, here's the latest article for Bleacher Report. One more to go. Enjoy

Working Late Night...

2009-05-27T02:19:00.002-04:00

Very late night. But, this was one of the tougher Bleacher Report articles I had to do and I needed to get it out of the way. The there of this one had to be how changes in personnel or on the coaching staff will affect the Ravens playbook this year. So, here it is. Now, I'm off to catch my five hours sleep.

Article #2 Is Up

2009-05-26T16:17:00.002-04:00

Here's my second article for Bleacher Report. This one had to be in the form of an interview with a player for a feature story. I picked Jameel McClain because he's the next in the long line of Ravens LB bad-assery. Enjoy.

Slumming For The Man...

2009-05-26T12:50:00.002-04:00

I have entered a contest (or something like that) to try to become the Baltimore Ravens correspondent for Bleacher Report/CBS Sportsline. Do leave lots of comments saying how great I am if you would be so kind. Here is my debut article. I gotta come up with 3-4 more by Friday to win. I know I got the Nature Boy's support...

Happy Memorial Day...Hangar Style

2009-05-25T15:22:00.001-04:00

"Tim, they got your family!"
"But I'm not married!"
"You are now...to America!!!!!"

Speaking To Soon...

2009-05-24T15:16:00.003-04:00

Remember on Friday I wrote about how I had rarely seen someone as bad at their job as recently released Orioles pitcher Adam Eaton? Well, I think I found the Adam Eaton of musicians, if you could even denigrate the word by calling what this guy does "music." I am speaking about rapper Soulja Boy Tell 'Em, who might be the absolute worst at what he does, and in the world of rap music, that is truly saying something.

Now I have nothing against rap music. In fact, as I write this I've been listening to "Niggaz4life" and "Straight Outta Compton" by N.W.A. and "It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back" by Public Enemy the last 3 days. I will argue that rap at its best truly is an art form. Those three records plus others like "Raising Hell" by Run DMC, "Paul's Boutique" by Beastie Boys, "Ready To Die" by Notorious B.I.G., "The Chronic" by Dr. Dre, "Enter The Wu-Tang" by Wu-Tang Clan, "Reasonable Doubt" by Jay-Z, "Blackout" by Redman and Method Man and "Get Rich Or Die Tryin'" by 50 Cent are all classics in any form of music. And that's just a partial list off the top of my head. So don't think this is just the ramblings of some guy that doesn't know shit about hip-hop.

That being said, what Soulja Boy does is an affront to those great records. Take his new single "Turn My Swag On" for instance. This shit is flat out awful. Garbage. Crap. Pick a euphemism for something bad and it can apply to Soulja Boy's "music." I put music in quote marks 'cause I'm not sure it even qualifies as such. He's not a good rapper, the beats are pretty much the same as every Southern rap song that has ever come out for the last decade and the only lyrics to the song seem to be "Soulja Boy Tell 'Em," "YEEAAAAH" and "Turn My Swag On."

Soulja Boy is not just bad music. It is transcendently bad. It's bad in an awe-inspiring way. Like you can't believe that 1) someone at a record label thought it was good or 2) that anyone would buy it. And yet, because we are not very bright here in America, people do buy it. I'm sure if I were to ask Soulja Boy how he can sleep at night having made such terrible music, I'm sure he'd say "On top of a pile of money." So be it. Americans are dumb and if they are dumb enough to buy the garbage Soulja Boy is selling them, more power to Soulja Boy for playing the best scam since Bernie Madoff. But if he insists on selling this garbage, can he at least put the following label on everything he does: "Endure this if you must. Survive if you can."

Favorite Non-Capitals of All-Time

2009-05-24T10:28:00.012-04:00

I've been a Capitals fan since I started playing and watching hockey back in 1987. My first Caps game was actually in 1986, before I started playing. I think my dad was trying to get the bug planted in me, by taking me to the Capital Centre for a game between the Caps and Winnipeg Jets. I don't remember a whole lot about that game, but the next year, me and my dad started our tradition of always going to the New Year's Day Caps game, this time featuring the Caps and Pittsburgh Penguins. Saw a young Mario Lemieux and current Caps broadcaster Craig Laughlin play, as well as the wonderfully named Pens goalie, Gilles Meloche.

Anyway, digressing. The point here is that just because I've been a Caps fan for so long, doesn't mean I couldn't admire some of the players that did not ever suit up in the red, white and blue. So here now, is a brief list of some of my favorite non-Capitals.

Cam Neely- Boston Bruins

There wasn't much NOT to like about Neely as a hockey player. He could score goals, he hit, he fought, he could do it all. I also remember the badass mullet he sported at the 1991 All-Star Game. How awesome was Neely as a player? Every year at the draft, you still hear commentators talking about some kid being "The Next Cam Neely." My favorite Neely play was one where he went to took a pass in his feet and briefly had his head down. Montreal defenceman Petr Svoboda came up to take him out. Neely saw him at the last minute and dropped Svoboda like a bad habit. He got back in the play and scored a one-timer, top corner on Patrick Roy. It was just the ultimate in "get-in-the-weight-room-cause-you-can't-stop-me!" alpha dog-ness.

Alas, his career was wrecked in the 1991 playoffs by hockey's anti-christ, Ulf Samuelsson. But there is justice in the world. Neely is now in the Hockey Hall of Fame, had his number 8 retired by the Bruins and was the architect of a Bruins team that finished 1st in the Eastern Conference. Samuelsson meanwhile, got knocked the fuck out by Tie Domi and is now the assistant coach of a bankrupt franchise (Phoenix Coyotes).

Doug Gilmour- Lots of teams, most successfully with St. Louis, Calgary and Toronto
Gilmour was a hockey player's hockey player. In fact, if you look up "hockey player" in the dictionary, you should find Gilmour's picture. He had the whole package: the missing front teeth, the mullet, the cool nickname ("Killer").

I myself liberally borrowed a few things from Gilmour. For instance, I started tucking in the right side of my jersey like he used to do (I know Gretzky started that but Gilmour made it look cooler) and I named this here blog after Dougie's number in Calgary.

Two more things about Gilmour. He was part of hockey's first Bromance, between himself and Don Cherry, which was"Daniel-san and Miyagi in Karate Kid III"-level uncomfortable, culminating in Cherry kissing Gilmour (really).

And, he once shattered the glass going into the penalty box. Now that is cool.

Brendan Shanahan - New Jersey/St. Louis/Hartford/Detroit/NY Rangers
I liked Shanny more from his early days with the Devils, Blues and the mighty Whale. He was a big, physical player that could score. He was certainly the missing piece when he went to Detroit and they soon became the Red Wings juggernaut we know today. But Shanny lost a little of the snarl that made me like him. Still, the guy was a warrior and has been a winner every place he's played. Even though he was a bit more of a finesse guy with the Wings, he could still kick ass when needed.

Sergio Momesso - Lots of teams, notably St. Louis and Vancouver
Probably my favorite hockey name ever. After him it would be Garth Butcher and Danton Cole. But Sergio Momesso sounds like an Italian hitman. He even looked like a gangster.

Momesso was always a bit of a disappointment as a player actually. He was a high draft pick by Montreal and looked like he should have fit into that Cam Neely/Rick Tocchet group of power forwards but he never did. Still, I always liked Momesso for his name and the fact that he was a tough, hard-nosed player. As an example, here's a clip of two members of this list having a go.

Milan Lucic - Boston Bruins
Next to Alex Ovechkin, is there a bigger YouTube legend than Lucic? I think not. I won't even bother to write a bunch of stuff, Looch's body of work speaks for itself.

Pavel Bure- Vancouver/Florida/NY Rangers

Before Alex Ovechkin, there was Pavel Bure. The only difference is that Ovie is a little bigger (6'2 compared to 5'10 for Bure) and that Ovie plays with a little bit more of a physical edge. But what they have in common is that both had the ability to make an arena hold its breath in anticipation of what they were going to do once they got the puck and hit full speed. I think Bure's career has been grossly underrated. For a 2-3 year period there was nobody, and I mean nobody, that was more exciting to watch than Bure. When he got the puck in full-flight, literally anything could happen. And remember, he and Kirk McLean carried a mediocre Canucks squad to one game from the Stanley Cup in 1994. I think the reason Bure is not remembered as fondly as he should be is because he was a bit of a diva and he pouted his way out of Vancouver in 1999. He had a couple of good seasons with Florida and then knee injuries wrecked his career for good. He's almost like hockey's version of Shawn Kemp: you remember the other stuff more than how great they were. In Bure's case, the pouting, the injuries and the brief romance with Anna Kournikova. Well, here's a reminder of the awesomeness that was "The Russian Rocket."

The End Of The Adam Eaton Error

2009-05-22T14:11:00.005-04:00

I am rolling with posts today, so I figure I'll keep up the momentum with some O's stuff.

Last night, the Orioles were taken to the woodshed one more time by the New York Yankees, to the tune of a 7-4 loss. In the three game series, the Yankees hammered O's pitchers for 27 runs in three games. Should we call this the Great New York Orange and Blackout of 2009? The game last night was notable because it will likely mark the end of pitcher Adam Eaton's time with the O's.

In all my years watching the Orioles, I must say, I have yet to come across someone as bad at his job as Eaton. Sure, in this decade-plus of futility, the O's have had lots of shitty pitchers: Mike DeJean, Mike Fetters, Daniel Cabrera, Sidney Ponson, Jorge Julio, the list could go on. But Eaton was as awful as I have seen anyone who has ever put on an Orioles uniform. I mean, look at this stat line:

2009 BAL 8 8 2 5 0 0 0 0 0 41.0 56 39 39 9 19 28 8.56 1.83 .322

The key stats in that line? How about an 8.56 ERA, a 1.83 WHIP (walks + hits/innings pitched)and a .322 batting average against. For those that do not know much about baseball, that is god awful. To really put it in perspective how shitty Eaton is, look at the numbers 39 and 41. 39 is his earned runs allowed and 41 is his innings pitched. That means Eaton gave up almost one earned run for every inning pitched! Last night pretty much summed up the entire Eaton experience. He gave up doubles to the first three Yankees he faced and was down 6-0 before the end of the 2nd inning. How is a young team not supposed to be demoralized by that? The worst part is, everybody except Andy McPhail and Dave Trembley knew Eaton was going to get raked by the red-hot Yanks.

But enough words. I'm going to let someone else do the talking. Here's a classic rant by legendary Chicago Blackhawks announcer Pat Foley on one-time Hawks defenceman Alexander Karpovtsev, who at that time, had just been traded to the New York Islanders. Now, as you are listening to this, just sub in the name "Adam Eaton" for "Alexander Karpovtsev" and "Baltimore Orioles" for "Chicago Blackhawks." Foley's end quote sums up exactly how every O's fan feels about Eaton: "Good riddance."

Yet Another Reason To Hate The Steelers

2009-05-22T13:26:00.004-04:00

...Ok, so this story is more on the Obama Administration than the Steelers, but blaming the Steelers for all of life's ills is much more fun.

BTW, I'm already starting to slightly regret voting for Obama. Not that much, mind you, but slightly. I still would vote for him, having Sarah Palin anywhere near the leadership of this country would be a disaster of biblical proportions but Obama's transgressions with me are starting to mount a bit:
- His odd Steeler-love

- Raising cigarette taxes to obscene levels (Despite being a smoker himself!!!)
- Not attending a Caps game, despite their being the hottest ticket in DC
- Snubbing a bunch of 5-year-olds for the Steelers
- Did I mention this photo? Why Obama, why?

Get your shit straight Barry! Don't make me never want to vote again! Then again, there are some members of the Steelers that have some things in common with 5-year-olds...

Ryan Leaf...still reeking of awesome badness

2009-05-22T12:32:00.003-04:00

NFL draft bust extraordinaire Ryan Leaf was indicted on drug charges in Texas today. That's Leaf (in the middle) today, shirtless, drunk and looking like he's being carried out by two extras from "My Name Is Earl." I know, how could the sensible looking chap in the above photo possibly have a drug problem?

I only mention this story because I'm one of the lucky people in the world that actually has a Ryan Leaf Chargers jersey. Alas, it's at my dad's house so I can't give documented photo evidence but trust me, I own one. Don't worry, I didn't pay for it. I got it from my ex-boss who was a big Chargers fan. I can't remember the bet we had, but the price was the Leaf jersey, which he seemed more than willing to part with. I've worn the Leaf jersey one time since I owned it: to a fantasy football draft. I used to enjoy wearing something outlandish to the draft, when we did it live with all team owners in the same room. One year, I busted out my suit, so I could look very general manager-ish. Of course, I had to peel it off by the end of the day because wearing a suit in the 90-degree temps of August in the mid-Atlantic wasn't a great idea. So the next year, I had just gotten the Leaf jersey and decided to rock it. I certainly didn't sweat as much as with the suit. After wearing it one time, I retired it for good. I figured, one time is irony, two times is jumping the shark and three times is pathetic. Sort of like the guy I once saw at Wal-Mart wearing a Jay Novacek Cowboys jersey.

Note to ESPN

2009-05-22T11:02:00.004-04:00

Michael Vick- Don't give a shit. Relax kids, he's just another crook that just got released from the federal pen. At the end of the day, that's what he is. The only way it would be interesting is if Ron Mexico lived out his own version of "Black Steel In The Hour Of Chaos." But unless the S1W's show up, don't care about Vick or what he's doing. Sorry.

"Yo, Ookie, we gonna break you outta there man! Word to tha strength G!"

Brett Favre- Don't give a shit. Self-explanatory. The only people who give a shit whether Favre plays for the Vikings or any other team that can be suckered into letting Favre throw 30 picks for them are 1) Favre 2)ESPN 3) Peter King 4) Vikings fans.

NBA Playoffs- Don't give a shit. Everybody in their brother has known that Cleveland is going to win and they will probably beat the Lakers to do it. Everybody also knows that David Stern will make sure it happens. After all, a Denver-Orlando final doesn't exactly move the Q rating. So why does anybody pretend there is some drama here? At least with hockey, we waited until the 3rd round before the inevitable Pittsburgh-Detroit matchup shaped up.

The Most Brilliant Musical Idea...Ever

2009-05-19T15:59:00.003-04:00

I must give credit where credit is due here. Hangar partner-in-crime Mogo Tomassi found this band and this video. What you are about to see is quite possibly the greatest idea for a band in the history of recorded sound. It would be Swashbuckle, three lads from New Jersey who are the first, and I think only, practioners of Pirate Metal. Yes, Pirate Metal.

The guys dress like pirates, speak like pirates, scream lyrics about pirates and play like some bastard son of Napalm Death. I was personally introduced to Swashbuckle about 3 years ago and love them or hate them, there's no way you can deny that there has never been a band quite like this. Yes, there is Viking Metal, hell, there's even Arnold Schwarzenegger Metal now thanks to Austrian Death Machine and Arno-Corps (I think thats what they're called.)

The first song I ever heard Swashbuckle play sounded a little like this jam, only the singer screamed "Walk the fuckin' plank!" for about 2 minutes. How can you argue with brilliance like that? God bless 'em. In the pantheon of great musical ideas, these guys are right up there. Enjoy.

Cruise Ship Terror

Damn You Yanni!!!

2009-05-18T19:39:00.005-04:00

How could you Yanni? The Penguins? Really? Not only do you force Games 4 and 5 of the Caps-Pens series to be played on back-to-back nights but then you also rock a Cindy Crosby Penguins jersey?

In addition to that, you cut your long flowing locks and awesome mustache.

Really Yanni? Really? It's like I don't even know you. Who else can I turn to for weird, snooze-inducing new age music if I can't turn to you? Damn it Yanni, I don't know how to quit you! How could you line yourself with Shitsburgh? Forget it Yanni, I've moved on. To John Tesh. Because no one can dribble a fake basketball like Tesh. Hope you're happy.

Addictions...

2009-05-18T13:53:00.005-04:00

Addiction #1- Brick Breaker for Blackberry:

For those that have never seen this game, it's pretty much a rip-off of the legendary "Arkanoid" arcade and Nintendo game. Some kids loved "Zelda," I loved "Arkanoid." My teammate Nick Carso's dad was a maestro at "Arkanoid." I actually downloaded it on my first phone and after about 3 months, finally beat all 99 levels (it was one of those games that never seemed to end.) When I recently upgraded to a Blackberry (much deserving of its Crackberry nickname) it came with Brick Breaker, which was pretty much the same game under another name. Once again, I am hooked. Just this weekend, I formally set my high score with 13,330 and reaching level 26 (the game has 34 levels). Apparently I'm not the only one, it seems to be a favorite of the President as well. According to this article, his high score is 15,000, which once again proves that Barack Obama is better than us at EVERYTHING.

Addiction #2- Diet Coke

My entertainment editor Jen and I nicknamed this stuff Diet Crack and for good reason. I gravitate towards this stuff the same way Tyrone Biggums went for Red Balls. Or Sgt. Al Powell went for Twinkies. Just utterly, utterly addictive stuff. It's like crack in a can. It's so pervasive (along with its sister drinks Diet Pepsi, Pepsi Max and Coke Zero) that regular Coke or Pepsi now tastes weird to me. If there was a support group for Diet Crack, I may have to attend. I admit that I am powerless over Diet Crack. But goddamn it, it has zero calories and low sodium. Must drink now!

I'm Back

2009-05-18T13:19:00.003-04:00

After a long hiatus, I'm bringing the Hangar back again. Lots of reasons for the lengthy the break between posts, the main one being that I just got burned out of writing it. I was doing the Day Job, which involved me writing all day, then coming home and spending 2 hours a post on Hangar material just took my ass out.

The other reason was the now-deceased 2008-9 Washington Capitals. Through the first 4 games of the Rangers series, the Caps were playing shitty. After a wholly frustrating Game 4 loss, I was far too pissed off to make a sensible argument about the game. At least not without sounding like some lunatic. Like a scary, Judge-of-the-Nazi-People's Court kind of lunatic. Plus, I was doing the hockey tournament that weekend and I was expecting the worst. So what happened? The Caps won Game 5. I didn't blog about it. The Caps won Game 6. Being someone who firmly believes in karma, juju, superstitions and all that junk, I attributed the Caps winning to my not blogging. It was true for about 5 games, all Caps wins. By the time the Pittsburgh series started going downhill I was firmly out of the routine of posting here. Let me tell you, 3/4 of all writing is routine. Ideas are one thing, style is one thing, but without a routine, nothing happens. Alas, as they say in AA, my routine had become a bit unmanageable and the Caps were driving me off the deep end with the constant elimination games.

But, I am back and will try to do this at a more manageable pace than I did before. Updates may come fast, they may not but I will try to keep shit up. For me, the Hangar is always evolving depending on my whims and flights of fancy. So for about the third time, I'll be switching up how I do this thing. Whatever the case, enjoy bitches.

Today's Ric Flair Words Of Wisdom

2009-04-27T21:09:00.002-04:00

Sorry there has been a lack of activity here at the Hangar but ye ol' blogger has been busy with all sorts of things, one of them includes a hockey tournament in Laurel, Md. I was pretty much without internet for the whole weekend, except for the Crackberry so there were no updates. The good news is that TCCC took the Silver Division in this year's Heineken Hockey Tournament, so, I figured I put up one of my favorite Ric Flair clips just for laughs. Alas, this will be the only post of the night since I left my computer battery charger at the day job but tomorrow I will put together a big package with info on all the Ravens draft picks from this weekend. Until then, here's the Nature Boy.

"We got 50 girls standin' outside our dressing room door, lookin' for the winners, WOOO!!"

Tonight Needs To Be Ovie Time

2009-04-22T15:53:00.004-04:00

I'm not a big basketball fan, as this blog has gone into great detail about, but one of memory I have is from the 1993 NBA Finals. It was Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls shooting for a 3rd straight title against Charles Barkley and the Phoenix Suns. The Bulls had taken both games in Phoenix to open the series but the Suns got themselves back into it with a three-overtime win in Chicago in Game 3. Going into Game 4, the Bulls needed Jordan take over and carry them to a win over the revitalized Suns. As he typically did, Jordan did just that, dropping 55 points and giving the Bulls a commanding 3-1 lead in the series.

I thought of that game last night when thinking about tonight's Game 4 of the Caps-Rangers series. I wrote in my playoff preview how Alex Ovechkin needed to be "The One" in this series. After getting back in the series in Game 3, tonight is the night where that has to happen. Ovie, who has been held goalless with four assists in the series, needs to take over and win a game by himself. He needs to strap the team on his back and carry the Caps to victory tonight.

Yes, his teammates will be vital in helping him do that, but if there's one guy who can dominate a series just by sheer force of will, it's Ovie. He's already tried to contribute in other ways, using his 'mates, getting under the skin of the Rangers through the media and his appearance at Rangers practice before Game 3. But Ted Leonsis doesn't pay him to be Claude Lemieux, he pays him to score goals. He pays him to dominate. And tonight's the night where he needs to do it. In a must-win game, on the road, in front of a fire up Madison Square Garden.

Ovie, you got the press clippings, you got the ESPN pieces, you got the notoriety. Now, you have to put together a signature playoff game. As John Cena would say, "Your time is up, my time is now/You can't see me, my time is now."

"I will break them Hangar"

Here's the aforementioned ESPN piece from Tuesday night's edition of "E:60." I will also post a link to this great Puck Daddy piece on the clip.

Today's YouTube Clip To Swing Your Heavy Metal Hair To

2009-04-22T15:47:00.002-04:00

OK, first of several posts today. We'll have recaps of tonight's O's and Caps games plus, hopefully, another Caps-related post. Until then, enjoy the fine sounds of a bunch of guys from Quebec doing pig squeals. It's Despised Icon with "Furtive Monologue."

Orioles 10 White Sox 3

2009-04-21T23:17:00.004-04:00

I suppose the headline on this game could be: "Markakis, Huff and the boys from Norfolk help O's break skid."

Brad Bergeson got it done in his first career start for the Orioles and the team snapped a 5-game losing streak. The youngster, called up from Norfolk to take Alfredo Simon's spot in the rotation, pitched a solid 5 2/3 innings for the win. Bergeson didn't have overpowering stuff, but he was around the plate and kept the Palehosers off-balance all night. And when he did run into trouble in the 4th and 5th innings, when the White Sox took a 3-2 lead, he didn't panic and kept it to a one-run deficit. The thing that stood out the most about Bergeson's performance tonight, besides a wicked tailing fastball, was his poise. He certainly got a test early in the 1st inning, as Sox slugger Carlos Quentin was battling Bergeson, hitting foul ball after foul ball. Many a young pitcher would have gotten frustrated and lofted a meatball up there that Quentin would have deposited into the bleachers. But Bergeson hung in there, kept making tough pitches and got Quentin to whiff to end the inning.

The side story to Bergeson's first outing was the reawakening of the Oriole bats after being held in check for two straight games. Aubrey Huff launched his first bomb in the first inning, crushing a Jose Contreras offering into the terrace boxes in right field. Then, after the Sox had taken the lead, the O's started taking the Windy City lads to the woodshed, scoring two runs in each of the next 4 innings to turn this one into a rout. They first managed to tie the game when Brian Roberts walked, moved to second on a groundout and then scored on a Nick Markakis double. Two batters later, 'Kake would give the O's the lead for good, coming around on a Luke Scott single. Markakis was on fire tonight, finishing 4-for-4 with 3 runs scored and 2 RBIs. That $66 million contract is looking like a bargin, if that's possible.

The game saw mini-breakouts from a number of O's who had been scuffling at the plate, including Huff, who cranked a 2nd homer into the center field bleachers in the 8th; Scott, who went 3-for-4 and raised his average over .300; and Cesar Izturis, who went 1-for-3 but got things going in the 6th with a walk and stolen base before scoring on Lou Montanez's double. Izturis would add a two-run double of his own in the 7th. Montanez, filling in for the concussed and DL'ed Ryan Freel, was the other Norfolk callup to make an impact tonight. The only O's who continued to struggle were Felix Pie, who hit three weak groundouts to go 0-for-3, and Ty Wigginton, who went 0-for-5 with a costly error at 3rd base.

The bullpen looked very sharp tonight, as the O's were able to use three of their strongest relievers so far this season - Danys Baez, Chris Ray and Jim Johnson - to kill any hopes of a Sox comeback.

Still, the story of the game was Bergeson, who is hopefully a harbinger of things to come from the O's farm system. I do not have any delusions of grandeur that the O's are going to make any noise this year. All I ask is that the team be competitive and show some hope for the future. And if we are going to lose, I'd much rather lose with young guys like Bergeson than with retreads like Mark Hendrickson and Adam Eaton. There's a reason those guys have bounced around the league. It's because they aren't very good. The lesson from this season, I suppose, is that we're going to have to put up with the Eaton's and Hendrickson's while we await the promise of the Bergeson's. By this summer, hopefully we will be seeing more of the latter than the former.

So, as Michael Reghi used to say, you can book this one to the Orioles. The O's can get back into that series-winning mode they were on before by winning tomorrow night. It will be Jeremy Guthrie against John Danks. Until then, if you like an Orioles win, give me a FUCK YEAH!

Love This Ad...

2009-04-21T13:57:00.002-04:00

I hadn't yet seen this commercial that Versus did for the NHL playoffs but it was on quite a bit last night and I must say it's very cool, even if it does involve the Caps opponent right now, the Rangers. I don't know how they got this view of Stephane Matteau's game-winning goal in Game 7 of the 1994 Eastern Conference Finals but it looks great and the fact that it's slowed down like that only adds to the coolness of the thing.

A Short Respite From Sports...

2009-04-21T12:16:00.005-04:00

To post a link about my favorite pooch, the bulldog. Drake University (nickname: the Bulldogs) held a (tongue-in-cheek) Bulldog Beauty Contest, won by a four-year-old named Porterhouse. I'm not sure about the name, I certainly prefer "Killer" as a bulldog name, but who care, it gives me an excuse to post these bulldog pictures again...

...and my personal favorite, UGA...

Today's YouTube Clip To Swing Your Heavy Metal Hair To

2009-04-21T11:47:00.002-04:00

It's Tuesday, so you know what that means? It's time to sing-a-long with Six Feet Under and Ice-T doing "One Bullet Left." Top them if you can, survive if they let you!

Red Sox 12 Orioles 1

2009-04-21T11:17:00.004-04:00

Lost in the euphoria of last night's Caps win, I didn't do a post about the Orioles latest loss yesterday morning to the Boston Red Sox. After losing a 2-1 nailbiter on Sunday, the O's lost in more conventional fashion yesterday: by seeing their pitchers get torched for double-digit earned runs. I won't go into too much depth here, actually, I'll just give you the Cliff's Notes version of the O's 5th loss in a row.

- Mark Hendrickson was lit up for a second straight outing, yielding 8 baserunners (5 hits and 3 walks) in 5 innings of work, along with 3 earned runs.

- Dennis Sarfate had his worst outing of the season, getting pounded for 4 hits and 3 earned runs in his only inning of work.

- Radhames Liz made Hendrickson and Sarfate look like Sandy Koufax and Dennis Eckersley by getting hammered for 6 earned runs in 2/3 of an inning. With an ERA of 67 in two outings, Liz earned himself a one-way ticket to Norfolk.

- The O's pitchers helped two more slumping Red Sox hitters, David Ortiz and Dustin Pedroia, break out. Pedroia finished 4 for 5 with 3 RBIs and Ortiz went 2 for 4, including a two-RBI triple. Yes, only the O's pitching staff could allow the lumbering Ortiz to hit a triple.

- Felix Pie struck out one more time, making it 7 K's in his last 15 at-bats.

- Ryan Freel had to be carted off after getting hit in the head with a pick-off throw. Despite his complaining to the media last week about playing time, let's hope Freel is OK.

- Despite his supposed steady work in the field, Gregg Zaun is an absolute sieve at the plate. The O's catcher is hitting .118 this season. Is Matt Wieters ready yet?

So, another loss in the House Of Horrors that is Fenway Park. The Birds at least get to come back home today, where they will open a 3-game set with the Chicago White Sox. Until, Otto has a special message for this game.

"Ach Du Scheisse!"

Caps 4 Rangers 0 (Rangers lead series 2-1)

2009-04-20T21:59:00.003-04:00

Ok, now that was more like it. The Caps played their best game in a month at a time when they needed it the most. Going down 3-0 would have signaled curtains but the Caps never let the Rangers sniff a commanding lead in the series by scoring early, playing excellent defense and getting good goaltending from Simeon Varlamov to get themselves back in this series.

This is the kind of effort the Caps need all the time. Clearly, it appears as if the key to beating the Rangers is to get a couple of quick ones past Henrik Lundqvist and making the Rangers play catch-up. That's easier said than done against King Henrik but this Ranger team does not appear equipped to come back from too many big defecits. The best part about tonight was that the Caps did not rest on getting a 2-0 1st period lead. They kept attacking New York, hemming them in their own zone for long stretches. They played with desperation, yet didn't press, something they struggled with in Washington, particularly in Game 2. Now, the matter is: Can they do this 3 more times? If they do, the Caps win this series. If the Caps bring anything less than what they did tonight, the Rangers could steal this thing yet.

Notes From The Hangar:

- Simeon Varlamov was very, very solid tonight. He made the saves when he had to, something Jose Theodore couldn't do. The team did a solid job of building a coccoon in front of him and limiting the quality looks the Rangers had. I wouldn't go so far as to say a star is born, but Varly was unphased by playing in a hostile Madison Square Garden, by Sean Avery's antics and by the 33 shots the Rangers put on. Dude is as cool as ice, at 20 years old no less, his rebound control is superb and his athleticism is off the charts.

- I thought John Erskine was the Caps best defenceman tonight. He played with his usual snarl but under control and he baited Avery into some stupid penalties. Erskine initiated but didn't retaliate.

- At the same time, I thought Mike Green was a weak link. Greener looked like he had Flubber on his stick the thing was bouncing off it so much. The guy was an adventure out there, especially in the 1st and 2nd periods.

- Alex Ovechkin was going like a madman tonight. Even more than usual. But unlike the two games in Washington, he didn't try to force plays. If he was the Tasmanian Devil in games 1&2, Ovie was controlled chaos tonight. His pass on Alex Semin's 2nd goal was a thing of beauty.

- I've said it before and I'll say it again, Brooks Laich is the perfect playoff player. That goal he got tonight was exactly what he needs to do in this series: get traffic in front of Lundqvist and bang in rebounds.

- The Caps had three lovely bing-bangers (one-timers into open nets) tonight. Both of Semin's goals and Tom Poti's goal were perfect passing plays.

- How awesome was Backstrom's pass on Poti's goal? Does that kid have eyes in the back of his head or what?

- Donald Brashear was a welcome addition back in the Caps lineup tonight. The Rangers didn't engage in much chicanery tonight knowing they'd have to answer to somebody.

- And now that I've mentioned the word chicanery, allow me to discuss Sean Avery's night. Games 1 & 2 showed what Mr. Sloppy Seconds can bring to the Rangers: physicality, agitating and creating mayhem in front of a goalie. Tonight showed how the diminutive, starlet-dating winger can kill your club. Avery spent almost 10 minutes in the box and none of those penalties were of the smart variety. Let's see, he punched Erskine in the face in full view of the ref, he ran Varlamov to earn an interference call, took another interference call trying to start something with Nicklas Backstrom, took a whack at Varly and Erskine in full view of the ref to get another roughing call and, finally, an early exit from the game. The Caps power play didn't punish Avery for all his sins but you could tell he was testing the limits of John Tortorella's patience. I'm surprised he didn't staple Avery's ass to the bench after that punch on Erskine. The funniest part, at least from a Caps fan's perspective, was watching Avery slink away the minute Brashear growled at him. Little man didn't feel like playing so rough then, did he?

And for the first time this series, I actually feel like posting the highlights from NHL.com.

So, one win in the books. Let's make it another on Wednesday night eh? Until then, let's call this one more...for the good guys.

Today's Ric Flair Words Of Wisdom

2009-04-19T17:41:00.003-04:00

Because nobody can bring perspective to things quite like the, WOOO!, 16-time World Heavyweight Wrestling Champion.

"You see, life...is greatness. And greatness is what you make out of it, you understand?"

Red Sox 2 Orioles 1

2009-04-19T16:26:00.004-04:00

There will be no 4th straight series win for the Orioles as they lost their 4th straight game and 3rd in a row to the Boston Red Sox.

This time around, the O's actually got a very good outing from Koji Uehara but couldn't get anything off Sox starter Jon Lester and when they did have chances, they couldn't deliver the big hit.

Uehara deserved better today as he held the Red Sox at bay over 7 strong innings. The only runs he gave up were a Paul O'Neill/Jorge Posada Memorial Bloop RBI Single (Posada and O'Neill were/are the masters of "excuse me" hits) to Mike Lowell and an RBI single to Dustin Pedroia. For most of the game, the O's couldn't touch Lester, who struck out 9. And when they did get some guys on base, the couldn't get them in, as witnessed by getting two on with none out in the sixth. Robert Andino had singled and Brian Roberts walked, and for the first time all day, Lester looked vunerable. But Felix Pie and Nick Markakis struck out and Aubrey Huff grounded out to end the O's rally. The O's only run came off Takashi Saito and even then, they squandered an opportunity for a big inning. Nick Markakis and Huff hit back-to-back singles but then Ty Wigginton hit into a fielder's choice (scoring Markakis but giving the Sox an out), Luke Scott flied out and Gregg Zaun, pinch-hitting for Ryan Freel, struck out to end the game. All told, the Orioles left 6 more men on base today.

Some Hangar Observations:

- Adam Jones left the game in the first inning after pulling up lame running out a ground ball. The postgame report says it was a sore hamstring. Not good.

- Felix Pie replaced Jones and turned several of the balls hit to him in center field into an advensture. At the plate, Pie came to the O's with a reputation as a big whiffer and so far he hasn't disappointed in the season's first two weeks. He's struck out 6 times in his last 12 at-bats. Somebody on the Orioles coaching staff needs to channel his inner Lou Brown and somehow convince Pie that with his speed he should be hitting the ball on the ground and legging them out. Perhaps make him do 50 pushups for everytime he hits the ball in the air? Pie is a guy with the skill-set to be another Al Bumbry/Omar Moreno type but goes to the plate with the mentality of Rob Deer. He's a slasher who thinks he's a home run hitter.

- It's not good for your offense when the light-hitting Andino is your best hitter.

- Ryan Freel has already begun complaining about playing time. Um, Ryan, when you're 1-for-14 it's hard to complain about PT. Here's a hint: Stop chasing balls up in your eyes like you did today. And when you do get in, get on base and rack up steals. It's the only way you're getting to get at-bats. If you're not doing that you're pretty much useless to this club.

- Chad Moeller did make a nice catch in the stands. Unlike Freel, Moeller at least does something when he gets in there. The shame is, he's likely to be out of a job the minute Matt Wieters shows up.

- Does David Ortiz look like he aged in dog years or what? He looks like the guy that got released by Minnesota back in the day, not the feared Big Papi. Injuries and not having Manny Ramirez around can do that but still, it's odd watching Ortiz struggle to hit pitches he either would have taken or mashed into the bleachers just 3 years ago. He's looked awful in a series where, most of the time, the Sox have been feasting on Orioles pitching.

- Brad Bergeson, who was the O's minor league pitcher of the year last year, will be getting the call on Tuesday against Chicago.

So one more O's loss in the bank. I knew I should have taken a picture of that 6-2 record, it would have lasted longer. One more game in Boston tomorrow at 11 a.m. for Patriots Day up there before coming home. With Mark Hendrickson on the mound, the potential for ugliness is at Defcon 4. But until then, one last time, let's get Otto von Bismarck's thoughts on the game.

"Scheisse"

Red Sox 6 Orioles 4

2009-04-19T14:46:00.005-04:00

Sorry I'm a bit late to the party on last night's Orioles game but I was in Ocean City without access to my laptop. I was with a buddy of mine and a bunch of his work colleagues. Fortunately, the place we had dinner at had a TV in the bar, and even better, I had a clear view of it from my seat. Since we were dining at a pricey Italian restaurant, the food took forever so I did get to watch the whole game. I love multi-tasking.

Before I get into the recap, while I'm on the topic of Ocean City, Maryland, allow me to go on a quick tangent about the place we ended up, an enormous bar called Seacrets. Most of you that have been to or lived in the Mid-Atlantic and visited Ocean City have heard of it. Quite frankly, it's lame. La-la-la-lame. But at the same time, it's one of the most ridiculous places on Earth. They have this very restrictive dress code (they wouldn't let one member of our party enter because he had a visable white undershirt) and they put you through a metal detector as you go in. As if the terrorists are going to target some beach bar in Ocean City, Maryland. Guys, I think they have better alternatives out there.

Then there are the people. Oh, the people. 95% of the guys look like they are auditioning for the newest season of "Tool Academy." Lots of bright colored polo shirts, Baby Gap size T-shirts, gelled up hair and Jersey Shore meathead swagger. The girls are all in halter tops and some of them seem to have a competition going to see who can look the most like a prostitute. We saw this one gal in hotpants that rode up all the way to her ass cheeks. It was an outfit that screamed "Slip me a Roofie!!!" As if that were not enough, the place has a bouncing dance floor, a lot of bands who cover "Laid" by James and these TV screens showing girls dancing in shadow, which generally resembles an iPod commercial. It truly is like the poor man's Sodom and Gomorrah with plenty of overpriced drinks and faux tough-guy bouncers to make it a pleasant experience for the whole family.

Ok, with that said, here were some notes I took from Saturday's game.

- Last night made it abundantly clear what the difference is between the Red Sox and the Orioles. When it comes to the lineups, the O's are right there with Boston. But when it comes to pitching, the O's are as far from Beantown as Istanbul is. Adam Eaton got the start and was awful. Again. And when the O's did get to Sox starter Josh Beckett, the Boston bullpen was able to slam the door. Baseball is all about pitching, pitching, pitching and the Boston pitching is just miles ahead of the O's at this stage of the game. They can go to an ex-World Series MVP like Beckett, while we have Eaton, who helped the Phillies win the World Series last year by not pitching for them.

- That said, Brian Bass looked much, much better than in his last relief appearance. Chris Ray, Jamie Walker and Jim Johnson also looked good. That trio can form the basis of a very good relief corps, if only the starters could give them a lead to protect.

- The O's lineup, as good as its been at the beginning of the season, is ridiculously weak in the 7-8-9 holes. Last night's trio in those spots (Gregg Zaun, Felix Pie and Cesar Izturis) went a combined 2 for 12, left 7 men on base and are all hitting under .200.

-Can't say the O's didn't get some chances. They left a whopping 17 runners on base. Aubrey Huff and Ty Wigginton, batting in the 4 & 5 spots respectively, left a combined 6 men on base. You need better than that from guys in prime RBI spots to beat a good team like Boston.

- Can I repeat again how awful Eaton was last night? The numbers tell it all: 4 innings, 9 hits, 2 walks and 6 earned runs. His ERA in two starts is over 11. I hope Eaton decided to rent and not buy in Baltimore. Actually, I hope he didn't rent either. For his sake, I hope he bought a timeshare because his next game of 6 earned runs might be his last.

So that's all for my commentary of last night's game. This afternoon's game just ended so I will be right back with a post on that one. For now, get used to seeing Otto von Bismarck today.

"Schiesse"

Rangers 1 Capitals 0 (Rangers lead series 2-0)

2009-04-18T16:18:00.006-04:00

The Harvester of Sorrow was in the building today. Henrik Lundqvist just stole another game and maybe this series from the Capitals who look like a very frustrated hockey team. King Henrik made 35 saves, including 16 in the 3rd period. Can't say the Caps didn't have chances in this one. But they missed open nets, they shot it high, they hit Lundqvist in the chest, they put it in the shin pads of Rangers defenders, in short, the Caps shot the puck everywhere but in the Rangers net. The New Yorkers had 29 blocked shots. 29! And not all of them on purpose, some of them the Caps shooters just put it right into their pads. The Rangers managed to get a 1-0 lead and then sat back and crowded the middle of the ice for the next 2 1/2 periods. When the Caps would get some sustained pressure, which was often in the second half of the 1st period and all of the 3rd, the Rangers would just dump it down ice and make the Caps skate 200 feet.

In some ways, today's loss was more disheartening than Game 1's. There was no Jeff Schultz or Jose Theodore to blame. The Caps played how they needed to play to win this game. But every time they would get close, Lundqvist would make a big save or the Rangers would get back and lift the sticks of Caps getting ready to shoot or they would block a shot. By the 2nd period you could see frustration start to set in on the Washington side. It was apparent especially in the body language of the Caps two best players, Mike Green and Alex Ovechkin. I've never seen Greener throw so many lazy passes around the ice and I've never seen more negative body language from Ovie. Alex Semin showed his frustration by cross-checking Ryan Callahan in the face. It just looks like a defeated hockey team right now. I don't doubt they want it, but when you see the arms get thrown in the air and the shaking of heads, its a very bad sign.

The Rangers have turned this into exactly the kind of series they want. In a nutshell, they've turned back the clock to Dead Puck Era. They're whole game plan came out today. Take advantage of a Caps defensive letdown (in this case Viktor Kozlov was the guilty party), get up 1-0 and then sag back and let Lundqvist do his thing.

The big news before the game was Simeon Varlamov getting the start in net over Jose Theodore and the kid acquitted himself well. As has been custom in Varlamov's starts, the Caps D was very cognizant of protecting their young goalie. The one goal he let in was a no-chancer by Callahan on a 2-on-1. Then again, there were so many long stretches where the Caps had the Rangers pinned back in their own end that we really didn't get to see the kid make too many big saves. I think he's warranted the start in Game 3 but we'll see what Bruce Boudreau decides to do. He threw everybody off by picking Varlamov today and the kid didn't do anything to lose the job, so he's likely the man until further notice.

Now, there's two ways to look at Game 3 on Monday in Madison Square Garden.
1) We're fucked.
2) The Caps are able to regain focus by going on the road, like they did after losing several home games in March and come back to take both games in New York.

I'm hoping its option 2 but right now, things don't look good. Lundqvist is in a groove and the Ranger defense is in the Caps' heads. I do believe its about time to press the panic button.

So, it's a must win game on Monday night in the World's Most Famous Arena. it's a nice day today so I think I will take a trip to the beach to forget about this one. Until then, let's say good night to da bad guys...

Red Sox 10 Orioles 8

2009-04-17T22:48:00.006-04:00

Two games: 29 runs against the Orioles pitching staff. 19 of them earned. 19 earned runs in two games. I'll repeat one more time, 19 earned runs in two games. I don't know what is a more disturbing number, the 19 earned runs or the 10 unearned runs. The shame of it is, the O's offense has scored 14 runs in 2 games and LOST! That is unacceptable.

Up 7-0, having a conga line around the bases with your supposed "ace" on the hill, tonight should have been an easy time for the Orioles tonight against the Boston Red Sox. But with the O's pitching staff, nothing is easy. And that 7-0 lead evaporated faster than Lindsay Lohan's career (horrible Rick Reilly pop culture reference of the night). After two solid outings to start the season, Jeremy Guthrie reverted back to the very hittable pitcher he was in spring training and the World Baseball Classic. Guthrie walked four and was shelled for 8 hits in 4 and 2/3 innings. Yes, he should have gotten out of the 5th inning, if not for Aubrey Huff's fielding error. To quote George Steinbrenner, Huff "looked like a monkey trying to fuck a football" on that one. By that point though, Guthrie had already unraveled after the O's had staked him to that 7-0 lead. He gave up four runs in the bottom half of the second and let the Sox creep further back after a solo homer by J.D. Drew. Once Brad Penny, who spent his three innings of work walking the ballpark and giving up a grand slam to Nick Markakis in the process, was removed and the excellent Red Sox 'pen entered the picture, the O's offense couldn't keep pace.

Then again, your pitching staff shouldn't be so horrid that a seven run lead is not enough. Now, over the course of a baseball season, games like this happen sometimes. But with the O's staff, you get the eerie feeling that this isn't an isolated incident. This staff is that bad. Usually, when Guthrie or Koji Uehara pitches the team has a chance, but Guthrie didn't have it tonight. There's no way to look at tomorrow's matchup of Adam Eaton against Josh Beckett and not have a certain sense of dread. After all, the O's offense could score 6 runs against Beckett and still lose by 10. That's how bad this staff is. The worst part is, I know it will not be the last time I will write a blog post like this.

So, that's two straight losses for the Birds, both of them bad. Hopefully Beckett tomorrow looks as awful as Penny was tonight and Eaton somehow manages to channel Jim Palmer and the O's can get back on a winning track. Until next time, take it away Otto von Bismarck of the German Empire...

"Scheisse"

OK, Now That We've Had Time To Reflect...

2009-04-17T18:01:00.006-04:00

When it comes to the reaction after the Capitals Game 1 loss to the New York Rangers, I am reminded of this passage from the movie "Ghostbusters"

Dr. Peter Venkman: This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.
Mayor: What do you mean, "biblical"?
Dr Ray Stantz: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath of God type stuff.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Exactly.
Dr Ray Stantz: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!
Dr. Egon Spengler: Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes...
Winston Zeddemore: The dead rising from the grave!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!

I mean, I thought I was a bit over-the-top in my reaction but the Caps blog-o-sphere was abuzz with "Theo On Thin Ice" stories. After one game you have Stan Fischler (for those who haven't heard of him, think Clint Eastwood in "Gran Torino" but as a hockey writer) calling the Caps a paper tiger, Alex Ovechkin not worth his press clippings and hinting at a Ranger sweep. Of course, as predicted, much of the blame for the Game 1 loss is falling on Jose Theodore. As explained here, Theo is in the ultimate no-win situation. And as proved, after one game, the critics are flogging Theodore relentlessly. Imagine if he loses 3 more? Personally, I didn't think he was as awful as people said he was. He wasn't good but he wasn't Hardy Astrom either. Theo's play backed Bruce Boudreau into a corner and judging by Gabby's comments, he gave some thought to putting Simeon Varlamov in for Game 2. While it appears that Theo will get the start in Game 2, I get the sense Boudreau feels like he's got an impossible problem with 4 possible outcomes, two of which are bad.
1) You start Theo again, he plays much better and you win. Best case scenario.
2) You start Theo in Game 2, he bombs again and you go to Madison Square Garden down 2-0 in games. Technically, you're not dead, but the Doc is filling out the paperwork to have the feeding tube pulled.
3) You gamble and start Varlamov, he plays well and the team wins.
4) You start Varlamov, a 20-year-old rookie with exactly 5 games of NHL experience, he plays poorly and the Caps lose. Not only are you risking turning the kid into a basket case (ala Carey Price) but if he doesn't do well, who's next? Michal Neuvirth? Brett Leonhardt? Pete Peeters?

No, giving Theo the nod one more time is probably better than throwing Varlamov into the fire this early. Theo has a history of bouncing back, so you give him the chance and if he fails you give the kid a shot. The good news is, there might be no Jeff Schultz (bruised ego) for the next game!

So let's relax a little Caps fans. The Rangers still have to win four games. So far, they've won one. Wasn't it us Caps fans just last year who had visions of a sweep dancing through our heads after a rousing Game 1 win? It's one game, not a series.Make, no mistake though, the vultures are watching in a now must-win Game 2.

Today's Ric Flair Words Of Wisdom

2009-04-17T11:24:00.003-04:00

It was a busy day for the Hangar yesterday, plus I was still licking my wounds from the joint losses by the Caps and O's to teams named Rangers. But today we'll be back with a diverse group of posts, including a little roundup of the mass hysteria that followed the Caps Game 1 loss, another version of Metal Classics and a brief recap of tonight's O's-Red Sox game.

But for now, here's some motivational words from "Nature Boy" Ric Flair. WOOOO!!

"No honey, I'm not takin' my clothes off, I'm stylin' and profilin'"

Metal Classics

2009-04-17T09:17:00.006-04:00

Iron Maiden-"Powerslave"

There is a sound that Iron Maiden makes that no other metal band I've ever heard can make. It's this galloping "duh-duhduhduh-duhduhduh" motif that sounds like an armored panzer division on the march. Maiden uses this sound in most of their songs, albeit in various speeds, and yet, it never really seems to get old, mostly because no other band can do it quite like them.

It's debatable which one is best, but there's no disputing the impact of Maiden's first five albums on metal. They pretty much define what power metal is. The first two - "Iron Maiden" and "Killers" - were made with singer Paul Di'Anno, who was replaced by one of metal's great characters, fencing enthusiast Bruce Dickinson. Dickinson then fronted the band through the peak of their commercial popularity, with 1982's "Number Of The Beast," 1983's "Piece Of Mind" and 1984's "Powerslave."

"Number Of The Beast" may have more hits, but for me, "Powerslave" is more consistent. There's only 8 songs but every one of them is top notch. "Powerslave" begins with the propulsive "Aces High," a narrative of an aerial bomber in the middle of a dogfight. The track gets the album off to a rollicking start and it never lets up.

Next up is the politically charged "2 Minutes To Midnight," one of the band's biggest hits. The title is a reference to the Doomsday Clock, which counts down to the probability of nuclear war. Dickinson's lyrics don't mince words: "We oil the jaws of the war machine and feed it with our babies," "As the madmen play on words and make us all dance to their song." It's easy to see why the song is one of the most popular in the band's ouevre. It has the driving guitar riffs and solos but with a memorable hook in the chorus.

"Losfer Words (Big 'Orra) is the last instrumental that Maiden has done and serves as a transition between the almost pop-metal sounds of the first two songs to the darker and more progressive stuff that follows. Nonetheless, it's a strong track that showcases the band's virtuosity. I have zero idea what the title means but does it really matter?

"Flash Of The Blade" was written by Dickinson and clearly references his love for fencing and swordplay. The lyrics are a bit ridiculous, with goofy nods to iron masks and dragons but Dickinson sells them with his absurdly high singing range and the ringing guitars of Dave Murray and Adrian Smith.

Another song with swords as a theme is "The Duellists," which is about the old custom of challenging someone to a duel. This track gives one of the best demonstrations of that signature Iron Maiden sound I talked about early. The rhythm chugging along while Smith's guitar wails over top of it, adding extra depth to the story being told in the lyrics.

Things keep rolling with another fast track, "Back In The Village," another anti-war song, which seems to be about a soldier's flashbacks to killing villagers in war. The song is highlighted by Dickinson's rapid fire shouts at the end.

The album closes on a high note with the best examples of the signature Maiden galloping rhythm, with the title cut, a song about Egyptian pharoahs or some such nonsense. The lyrical content is unimportant though compared to how the whole band interacts on this track. Dickinson's singing is right in lockstep with the rhythm section and Smith's guitar keeps up the motif, especially with the Egyptian-theme on the pre-chorus. The song then does an abrupt U-turn into a fierce instrumental section before coming back to the main riff. "Powerslave" is definitely one of Maiden's more underrated cuts. It show off the band at its finest: the dueling guitars, Dickinson's powerful yelp, the goofy mysticism and of course, that rhythm section.

But the band then saves its best for last with the 13-minute "Rime Of The Ancient Mariner," a song based on the Samuel Taylor Coleridge poem of the same name. Theoretically, there's no way a song like this should work. It sounds like something straight out of Spinal Tap. But work it does. After five-minutes of pure Maiden-ness, the song cuts to a atmospheric, watery guitar solo, augmented by Dickinson's spoken word passage before kicking it back up again. The song really is an impressive feat and even though it's 13-minutes long, you don't really notice that. The song would foreshadow some of the more progressive experimentation the band would use on later releases. One of the best things, to me, that you can say about a song is that there isn't anything out there quite like it and in the case of "Rime Of The Ancient Mariner" that's true. You'll never hear a song like this before or after.

I debated in my own mind which Maiden release I wanted to do for this series. While its impossible to do a series called "Metal Classics" without Iron Maiden, it's equally hard to pick which Maiden album to do. I suppose I dig "Powerslave" the most because it's an album where you don't skip tracks. You can put it on "Aces High" and just sit back and listen for the next 50 minutes. It's also, to me, the best demostration of who Iron Maiden is and why they are the preeminent power metal band to ever exist.

Rangers 19 Orioles 6

2009-04-16T00:45:00.003-04:00

Well, it wasn't 30-3. The Rangers actually showed some mercy this time. In the 8th inning when Matt Albers was throwing the ball to the backstop, the Rangers didn't try to score. That's the best that can be said about this game. The Rangers showed mercy. I wish I had more but there's not a whole lot more that can be said about this one. I'll just let this graphic do the talking...

Thankfully there's an off-day tomorrow before travelling to Boston. Wonderful. Until the next time, Otto says...

"Scheisse"

Rangers 4 Caps 3 (Rangers lead series 1-0)

2009-04-15T22:01:00.005-04:00

I often tell myself to not blog angry. But fuck it, I'm blogging angry.

Maybe the omens were there that this was going to be an unusual night. It has been raining, cold and windy here on the East Coast for about 24 hours. It's some of the most miserable weather I've ever encountered in my 30 years on this planet. About 7 minutes into tonight's Game 1 my cable went out and I was forced to go to the Grotto Grand Slam sports bar, surrounded by Flyers and Penguins fans. I don't know exactly what hell is, but all they needed to do is wave some Terrible Towels and play "My Heart Will Go On" and it couldn't be much worse.

And then there was the game. Like a wrestling heel winning a match with his foot on the ropes, the Rangers stole a game they had no business winning. The Caps pretty much outplayed them in every facet 5-on-5. But the Rangers got 3 perfect snipes and one goal that was complete B.S. in every way. Scott Gomez came down the ice 2-on-2 with Sean Avery. The two Rangers criss-crossed and that jerk Avery stuck his leg out and tripped Mike Green, giving Gomez a free run at Jose Theodore. Of all the calls the refs made tonight, HOW IN THE FUCKING WORLD DID THEY MISS THAT!!!! Avery couldn't have been less discreet about it if he tried. He might as well have waved a sign that said "Hi, here's some interference!!" And yet no call. Theo compounded things by letting in a weak shot but still, that interference was an obvious call that has to be made. This being the Washington Capitals, whose playoff misfortune I documented earlier in the day, of course it ended up being the difference. OF FUCKING COURSE!

Random Notes:

- Being a hockey player myself, I know the pros are much better than I could ever hope to be. These guys have skill and speed that mere mortals could only dream of. That said, Jeff Schultz sucks. S-U-C-K-S sucks sucks sucks. The guy is soft, he can't score and he can't move the puck well. Other than that he's great. Brandon Dubinsky made him look like an in-house player with that "How's she going?" move on the game-winning goal. Please, Bruce Boudreau, I'm begging you. Get this chump out of the lineup and replace him. With anybody. Doesn't matter if its Brian Pothier, Karl Alzner, Sami Lepisto, hell, you can drag Rod Langway out of the stands. Anybody but Schultz.

- To give the devil his due, Rangers goalie Henrik Lundqvist was as good as his team needed him to be. He didn't flinch in the face of a hurricane of Caps shots in the 1st and 3rd periods.

- The Rangers found the spot on Theo and it was top shelf. Other than the Gomez goal, all three New York tallies were upstairs over the glove hand. Not good.

- The loss was a waste of an inspired effort from Alex Ovechkin. He was all over the place tonight.

- The Caps had some lovely hits in this game. Mike Green's shoulder check on Fredrik Sjostrom was a beauty. That was "Get In The Weight Room!" quality.

- Too many fucking penalties. What else is new?

- Avery's trying, with his trip on Green and whack at Theodore late in the 3rd, but he has a long way to go before I hate him as much as Scottie Upshall, Hines Ward or Ulf Samuelsson. Give him time though.

So that's it for this piece of shit game. Good riddance. Gotta shore up the D, stay out of the box, keep the Rangers going to the box and keep up the energy 5-on-5 in Game 2 on Saturday. Until then, say good night to da fuckin' bad guys.

Caps Playoff Education (Through Metallica)

2009-04-15T00:44:00.010-04:00

Tonight, the Washington Capitals will open Game 1 of their 1st round playoff series against the New York Rangers. I figured I would do a preview, but one struggles with how to do one different than everybody else. After all, how can I do it better than Puck Daddy, Peerless or Japer's. I thought about discussing the Caps playoff chances through movie quotes, but Bill Simmons already cornered the market on that gimmick. Then it hit me, I love hockey and I love Metallica? Why not combined the two? And since one of my favorite Metallica albums is 1988's "...And Justice For All" why not use that to preview the Caps chances.

Just as a little background, "...And Justice For All" is probably the angriest, most progressive and most political album Metallica ever did. With multiple time changes, intricate guitar solos and lengthy song structures (the shortest track is 5 minutes long) "...And Justice For All" was Metallica pushing the limits of thrash metal to the most extreme. The arrangements here were so complicated, the band would soon completely change its approach because the tracks were so difficult to pull off live. The lyrics might be the angriest that James Hetfield has ever written, partly inspired by the death of bassist Cliff Burton in 1986. The album's concept is a broken justice system, but it also contains themes of insanity, paranoia, war and corruption. And on top of all that, it flat out kicks ass.

So, here now for your amusement is my useless opinion about the Caps-Rangers series, broken down under each track from "...And Justice For All." I'll put down the song title, followed by a player, place or things related to this series. Enjoy.

1) "Blackened" - Expectations

The first track on "...And Justice For All" starts off as Metallica albums did back in the day, with a dose of classical guitar before exploding into a full-on metal assualt. The song seems to be about the apocalypse and that ties in with what will happen shall the Caps fail to get out of the first round this year. A Southeast Division title and a playoff berth are no longer satisfactory. Fans have their eyes on a larger prize and expectations for this team are very high. Can the Caps handle having external pressure to win for really the first time?

For the Rangers, there's a different kind of pressure, that of playing in New York. But if there is one thing working in their favor, it's that most experts do not expect them to win this series. Knowing the world doesn't expect much of you can help ease the pressure. Since nobody outside New York thinks they can win, the Rangers can relax and just play hockey. It's up to the Caps, who have the better team talent-wise, to go out and crush any thoughts the Rangers may have about winning this series. If they let the Rangers steal a game or two early, it could be trouble.

Relevant lyric:
"Blackened is the end/Winter it will send/Throwing all you see/Into obscurity"

2) "...And Justice For All" - Caps power play

One of the longest and most complex songs on the record, the title track is a scathing indictment of the justice system. On the other hand, the Caps power play will be a scathing indictment of the Rangers discipline, should the New Yorkers decide to have a parade to the penalty box. The Caps had the league's 2nd-ranked power play and when it's clicking, it can be scary good. The Caps can put four-world class talents on the ice at the same time: Alex Ovechkin, Mike Green, Alex Semin and Nicklas Backstrom. Throw in the power game of Brooks Laich in front of the net and the Caps have a combination of passing, grit and skill that can score at will.

If there's one thing the Rangers can exploit however, it's the all-offense, all-the-time approach of Green and Ovechkin, who play the point on the power play. The Caps gave up a lot of shorthanded goals this year because Ovie and Green were up ice all the time, leading to easy breakaways and odd-man rushes. Last year, Caps Coach Bruce Boudreau had to change things up against Philadelphia, putting Ovechkin down low and the more defensively-responsible Sergei Fedorov at the point because Flyer penalty killers were exploiting the Caps aggressiveness.

Relevant lyric: "The ultimate in vanity/Exploiting their supremacy/I can't believe the things you say/I can't believe/I can't believe the price you pay/Nothing can save you"

3)"Eye Of The Beholder" - Caps secondary scoring

Another scathing lyrical track, this one about censorship. The lyrics take the view of the oppressor, telling his subject that he can have his freedom of choice, but only if he does it the way he's told. Censorship is also a relevant topic when it comes to the Caps secondary scoring. Pretty much anybody not named Ovechkin, Backstrom, Green, Semin and Laich, seemed to censor their goal-scoring for long stretches, especially in February and March.

Tomas Fleischmann looked like he was on his way to a 25-30 goal season over the course of the first 3 months, but he hit the wall big time in 2009, scoring only 4 goals since January. Eric Fehr looked like he was poised for a breakout at one point in 2009 but his scoring touch disappeared as quickly as it arrived. Fedorov will be there, he's always been a solid playoff performer. But what about Viktor Kozlov? He's yet to score a playoff goal in his 14-year career, only registering 6 assists in 21 career playoff games. That has to change, especially since he is likely going to be skating on Ovie and Backstrom's line. Anything the Caps get from Michael Nylander, Professor Matt Bradley, David Steckel and the returning Donald Brashear should be considered gravy. No matter who it is, the Caps need more than 5 guys to do the scoring in order to go where they want to go.

Relevant lyric: "Do you take what I take?/Endurance is the word/Moving back instead of forward seems to me absurd"

4) "One" - Alex Ovechkin

The most famous song off "...And Justice For All" is a grim ballad about a soldier who has lost his arms, legs, sight, speech and hearing. It was based off the 1938 Dalton Trumbo novel "Johnny Got His Gun" and has maybe the most well-known kick-drum solo in the history of music. That would seem to have little to do with hockey but the title can refer to what Ovie needs to be in this series. Like Neo, Ovechkin has to be "The One."

He's got the individual honors, he's got the adulation, now it's time for the league's best player to step up and carry his team on a long playoff run. Ovie needs a signature playoff moment and what better stage to start on than The Big Apple? Yes, hockey is the most team-oriented of games but the Caps happen to have the one player on Earth who can win a game by himself. The time is now.

Relevant lyric: "Now the world is gone I'm just one/Oh God, help me/Hold my breath as I wish for death/Oh, please God, wake me"

5) "The Shortest Straw" - Sean Avery

One of the more lyrically complex songs on "...And Justice For All," "The Shortest Straw" seems to deal with injustice on its surface. It could also be about a failed revolution. The lyrics do deal with the subject of infamy and there may not be a more infamous player in the NHL than Meester Sean AAAAAAvery ($10 if you can guess the movie that reference comes from. Just say the name like that but slowly.)

All the national pundits are wondering what Avery might do in this series. After all, the last time he was in the playoffs, he inspired his own rule. To his credit, Boudreau says the Caps plan is to ignore Avery. But let's see how long that lasts the minute Avery cheapshots someone, dives or runs away from a fight. Avery is capable of doing all three of those things on a shift. If the Caps are able to ignore Avery's antics, it will go a long way towards rendering him ineffective, even a liability to the Rangers if he is taking long sabbaticals in the penalty box.

Relevant Lyric: "Shortest straw/Challenge liberty/Downed by law/Live in infamy/Rub you raw"

6) "Harvester Of Sorrow" - Henrik Lundqvist

The simplest song on "...And Justice For All" is also one of its most intense and the title is what King Henrik could be for the Caps if he's on his game.

The Rangers netminder is the kind of goalie who can steal a series and the Caps will need to get to him early and often if they want to win. At the same time, if the Rangers are going to win this series, they need Lundqvist to be otherworldly in goal. On paper, the Rangers have the better 'tender but the Caps have the better team overall. Not to sound like Dan Fouts or Tim McCarver but whoever wins out in that battle will take the series.

Relevant Lyric: "Anger/Misery/You'll suffer unto me/Harvester of sorrow/Language of the mad"

7) "The Frayed Ends Of Sanity" - Jose Theodore

This song is about paranoia and no player on the Caps roster inspires as much paranoia as Theo. All year, the mainstream media has picked on the Caps goalie as the weak link. Now he has the chance to prove that the Caps can win with him in goal. The one thing Theo has going for him is that he's never lost a first round series as a starting goaltender. The bad news is that he's in a no-win situation in this series. If he and the Caps win, they were supposed to win. If the Caps lose, much of the blame is going to fall on the goaltender and all the media talking heads are going to say things like "The Caps would be Cup contenders if they had a better goalie." The fans calling for Simeon Varlamov to assume the starting role will get a lot louder if Theo fails to get the Caps out of Round 1.

Relevant Lyric: "Loss of interest, question, wonder/Waves of fear they pull me under"

8) "To Live Is To Die" - Mike Green and the Caps D

The final song written by Cliff Burton, this nearly 10-minute instrumental (with a brief speaking passage) was also the last instrumental Metallica would do until "Suicide And Redemption" from last year's "Death Magnetic." The final lines of the song are written on a memorial stone for Burton in Sweden, where he died while the band was on tour. In the context of the Caps, the title can also refer to Mike Green and his gambling style of play, as well as the defense corps as a whole.

With Greener, you're going to get his offense. He's the best D-man in the league as far as scoring goals and jumping into the play. But his go-for-broke style can also lead to odd-man rushes for the other team, as witnessed in the season finale against Florida. You don't want to see Green alter the style of play that has made him a Norris Trophy candidate, but in the playoffs, you would like to see him be more cognizant of his own end. Then again, Greener is the least of the question marks surrounding this defense.

Is Brian Pothier ready for the rigors of the postseason?

Which Shaone Morrisonn will show up? The consistent force from last season or the inconsistent defender from this season?

Is Tom Poti healthy?

Are Milan Jurcina and John Erskine too slow?

Is Jeff Schultz too soft?

The answers to these questions will go a long way towards whether the Caps live or die in these playoffs.

Relevant Lyric: "Cannot the kingdom of salvation/Take me home"

9) "Dyers Eve" - The Caps playoff history

The most personal song on the album, about James Hetfield's ultra-religious upbringing in Downey, Ca., "Dyers Eve" can also sum up the angst that builds up in Caps fans around this time. After all, this club's playoff history is as gory as an Eli Roth film. The list of collapses, chokes and heartbreak is longer than "War And Peace" Let's see, there was the Easter Epic in 1986. Ron Hextall's second goal in 1989. Blowing a 3-1 lead to Pittsburgh in 1992. Dale Hunter's hit on Pierre Turgeon in 1993. Petr Nedved in four overtimes in 1996. Jason Doig's too-many-men on the ice penalty in 2003 that cost them a three overtime game against Tampa Bay. Joffrey Lupul last year. It's ugly.

Of course, much of the team's history changed on this day:

This Caps team seems different. It's a club poised for a breakthrough. The door is open. Now they have to walk through it.

Relevant Lyric: "Dear mother/Dear father/You've clipped my wings before I've learned to fly/Unspoiled/Unspoken/I've outgrown that fucking lullaby"

The Hangar's Call: Caps in 6

Orioles 7 Rangers 5 (10 Innings)

2009-04-14T22:32:00.006-04:00

Another day, another series win, another George Sherrill near-heart attack for the Orioles.

The O's improved to 6-2 and assured themselves of a third straight series win with tonight's 7-5 victory over the Texas Rangers in a roller coaster ride of a game. It looked early on like the Rangers were going to play Home Run Derby with O's starter Alfredo Simon, as Texas got 3 solo homers in 2 innings by Michael Young, Nelson Cruz and Chris Davis. But Simon had to leave after an inning and 1/3 due to an apparent elbow injury and the O's bullpen slowed the Rangers down, led by sterling work from Dennis Sarfate, as well as contributions by Chris Ray, Jamie Walker and Jim Johnson. The O's offense chipped away at Rangers starter Brandon McCarthy with homers by Luke Scott and Aubrey Huff and an RBI single by Adam Jones. The bullpens then took over until the 10th when the O's exploded off of 400-year-old Rangers reliever Eddie Guardado. Jones hit a mammoth 2-run shot into the O's bullpen and Scott followed 3 batters later with a 2-run double that scored Nick Markakis and Ty Wigginton. That gave the O's a seemingly secure 7-3 lead into the bottom of the 10th.

Then, Mr. Excitement entered the picture. George Sherrill came in and did what George Sherrill does. What is that you ask? Well, he didn't get the nickname "Mr. Excitement" by going out and going 1-2-3 every time. Sherrill gave up 4 straight singles to Jarrod Saltalamacchia, Omar Vizquel (he's still in the league?), Ian Kinsler and Young to turn it into a 7-4 game with the bases loaded and nobody out. After forcing an RBI groundout from Josh Hamilton to make it 7-5, Sherrill gave up two towering flyballs to Hank Blalock and Cruz, both of which went to the warning track. But they stayed in the yard and Mr. Excitement escaped once again. Manager Dave Trembley might not live much longer or may take up smoking as long as Sherrill is the closer. With Sherrill the name that always comes up is Don Stanhouse, the O's closer in the late 70s who earned the nickname "Full Pack" because he would make Earl Weaver so nervous by getting into jams that Earl would smoke a full pack of cigarettes while Stanhouse was on the mound. I'm not even the O's manager and Sherrill makes me want to smoke a full pack of cigs.

Two Random Notes:
- The Oriole catchers finally threw out someone trying to steal. Opponents were a perfect 11 for 11 stealing bases against Gregg Zaun and Chad Moeller but Zaun threw out 2 Rangers tonight to end that little streak.

- The O's brass bragged all off-season about the improved defense and it has been on display in Texas. First, there was Markakis' great catch from last night and then tonight, Jones and Brian Roberts executed a perfect relay play to nail Young at the plate and get a key out when the game was still tied 3-3.

So that's all for tonight. The O's can once again try to get a sweep tomorrow night. If nothing else, they can hopefully avoid giving up 11 runs, which they've done the last two times they've tried to get a sweep. Of course, that's an iffy proposition with Mark Hendrickson on the mound tomorrow against ex-Oriole Kris Benson. But for now, if you like an Orioles win, give me a Hoo-rah!

Today's YouTube Clip To Swing Your Heavy Metal Hair To

2009-04-14T14:07:00.002-04:00

...is "Two Minutes To Midnight" by Iron Maiden. Because you only wish you could rock out like THE Bruce Dickinson and possess his unrivaled fencing skills.

Some Quick R.I.P's In The Morning

2009-04-14T07:42:00.007-04:00

Boy has this been a strange and tough week in the sports and entertainment worlds.

First, there was the sad death of Angels pitcher Nick Adenhart (a Maryland native) last Wednesday, just hours after he had won his first game of the season with his dad in attendance.

Then yesterday there were three more public figures who passed away. There was model and porn star Marilyn Chambers...

And in the sports world, there was former American League Rookie of the Year Mark "The Bird" Fidrych, the former Detroit Tigers pitcher known for his quirky habits (talking to the ball, massaging the dirt on the mound, etc).

Finally, there was the voice of the Philadelphia Phillies and NFL Films Harry Kalas.

While the name may not ring a bell, Kalas's voice was unmistakable. It was hard to not see an NFL highlight clip and not hear Harry. His Phillies calls had slipped quite a bit in recent years but he was still Kalas and he still had his charms. Like the way he drew out the name "Saaaammy Soooosa." While I generally have no love lost for Philadelphia teams, looking back, it was good that Harry got to call the final out of a World Series.

R.I.P. to them all.

Orioles 10 Rangers 9

2009-04-13T23:36:00.006-04:00

Ah, Texas. Like John Wayne Gacy's crawlspace, whatever-the-Rangers-Stadium-is-called-these-days is a place where things get buried, in this case, the ERAs and WHIPs of pitchers. The victims this day were Texas' Vincente Padilla and the O's Koji Uehara. Padilla got the hook first, after being blasted for 7 earned runs on 11 hits in 3 1/3 innings. Koji fared a little bit better but was clearly laboring by the 6th inning and his stat line looked just as ugly: 5 innings, 7 hits and 7 earned runs. Danys Baez, who looked sharp the first two games, morphed back into the hittable pitcher we all remembered from 2007. He did inherit a mess from Uehara, bases loaded with none out, but he helped turn a 10-4 rout into a 10-9 nailbiter. However, some solid holds by Jamie Walker and Jim Johnson kept the Rangers at bay. George Sherrill came on, and of course, put the tying and go-ahead runs in scoring position. But Nick Markakis bailed Sherrill out with a brilliant catch of a long flyball by Michael Young and Flat Breezy struck out Marlon Byrd to end the game. Just another day at the office for Sherrill, who Jim Palmer fittingly nicknamed "Mr. Excitement."

But with the bad pitching came hitting. Lots and lots of hitting. Aubrey Huff had the biggest night, going 4 for 5 with 3 RBIs. Markakis and Brian Roberts kept up their hot starts by going a combined 5 for 10 with 3 RBIs and 5 runs scored. But the biggest shot came off the bat of Felix Pie, who hit his first home run as an Oriole and then punctuated it with the fastest home run trot since Pete Rose. Seriously, dude looked like Usain Bolt flying around the bases. And oh by the way, how nice were those new Orioles road unis with "Baltimore" written across the chest...

...Sweet.

So let's just call this one another typical night in Texas. The O's can assure a third straight series win tomorrow night with Alfredo Simon going against Brandon McCarthy. But for now, if you like an O's win, give me a Domo Arigato!

Remembering My Fantasy Baseball Antichrist

2009-04-13T21:58:00.006-04:00

I've been playing fantasy baseball now for about 6 years. And in that time, I've had good teams and bad. Good players and crappy ones. But I've never owned anyone that challenged my will to live more than ex-Orioles closer Jorge Julio.

You see, it seemed every year for 3 straight years I ended up with Julio on my roster. Looking back now, you may be asking: why did you let Jorge Julio anywhere near your fantasy roster? Well, remember, Julio was the Orioles closer back in the day and actually posted decent saves numbers for a couple of years.

But man, he came with a huge Buyer Beware tag. To be honest, part of the reason I ended up with Julio so often was because he was so predictable. He was going to end up with 25-35 saves and at least 500 heart palpatations and 5 broken remote controls. You could always tell a bad Julio outing right from the get-go. His first pitch would be a slider that would bounce 5 feet in front of home plate. Then he'd throw another slider that would bounce 8 feet in front of home plate. Keep in mind that Jorge threw a 97 mph fast ball. Behind 2-0 in the count, Julio would try to crank up the fastball and overthrow it, usually 6 feet over the hitters head or half a mile outside. And that would be all she wrote. Pretty much an automatic blown save and Orioles loss.

Not only that, but much like his forefathers Doug Jones, Mike Timlin and Armando Benitez, you could always count on Julio imploding in a big spot. The guy was like the A-Rod of closers: he would go 1-2-3 with a 3-run lead in a meaningless May game against Texas but in a 1-run game in August against the Yankees or Red Sox, Julio set more fires than a 90s Norwegian black metal band.

My ultimate memory of Julio was duing an interleague game against San Francisco. Me and my buddies were in attendance and Julio came into a close game to try to get the O's out of a jam. Not a chance. Julio got shelled and I got drunk as hell. I let Julio have it with a stream of obscenities and had the urge to see how many beers I could drink before alcohol poisoning set in. When he was dealt to the New York Mets in the trade that brought Kris Benson to Baltimore, I didn't care whether Benson was a bust or not (he was), I was just glad to be rid of Julio. He was the sort of pitcher that cost fantasy GMs championships and real life GMs their jobs.

I had purged Julio from my brain for a number of years. The last I saw him, he was pitching for Colorado and nearly cost the Rockies a playoff berth by imploding (as always) in a tight spot. I thought the league had run out of teams for him to play the role of bullpen arsonist. So imagine my surprise when I turned on Sunday night baseball yesterday and saw Julio pitching for Milwaukee. I watched him briefly. He started the first hitter off with ball one high and inside and I quickly switched the channel. I knew how this one was going to end.

Rays 11 Orioles 3

2009-04-12T21:48:00.007-04:00

Say this about the 2009 Baltimore Orioles, at least early on: When they lose, they lose spectacularly. In two losses this season, the O's have been whipped to the tune of 22-5. At least they aren't losing nailbiters.

Here at the Hangar, we don't do a lot of fancy statistical work. Hell, we just shoot from the lip and give our amateur opinions about things. Some may say, what the Hangar does is why mainstream media guys hate bloggers: just some asshole sitting in his mom's basement spewing garbage about things he doesn't understand.

Well, maybe that's true. But I don't need a press pass or a background in sabermetrics to know that Adam Eaton is not going to cut it as the O's 5th starter. He allows too many baserunners and doesn't have overpowering stuff. Eaton got himself into trouble right off the bat. He managed to get out of danger in the first inning but after loading the bases in the 2nd, the potent Rays lineup struck with a 3-run triple by Carl Crawford. All told, Eaton allowed 10 baserunners (8 hits and 2 walks) in 4 innings of work, leaving the game down 4-0. Again, I'm just some dipstick on a blog but I get the sense that's not good.

If Eaton was bad, Brian Bass was worse. Like, "I Know Who Killed Me" bad. Bass was filleted (how you like that Rick Reilly-style pun, eh?) for seven runs on eight hits, including four home runs. The only good thing you could say about Bass's outing was that he went 3 1/3 innings, saving the rest of the bullpen. But surely there has to be somebody in Norfolk or Bowie better than Bass? The guy has been flat-out lit up in two outings this year.

Oh well, the good thing about baseball is that you have another game tomorrow and after a bad outing, you can just do this...

...but it is troubling that the pitching staff looks as bad as advertised, especially in the 4th and 5th starter spots. Despite Mark Hendrickson's strong outing on Friday, it looks like Guthrie and Koji and pray for rain. Are you sure there's no way we can coax Pedro Martinez to pitch here? After all, I'd rather see Pedro get lit up for 5 runs than a guy like Eaton. Even though his fastball has lost some serious juice, you at least know Pedro is a professional who will be around the plate. Or if we can't do him, how about Chris Tillman or Jake Arrieta?

So the O's will now hit the road and travel to that place where ERAs go to blow up: Texas. I get the feeling we're going to see quite a few crooked numbers up on the scoreboard during this three game set with the Rangers. But for now, we'll close the book on a successful homestand with a bad ending. What do you think about it former Chancellor of the German Empire Otto von Bismarck?

"Scheisse"

The Other Side Of The Easter Bunny

2009-04-12T13:19:00.003-04:00

You'll be hopping down the bunny trail...in a body bag!

Panthers 7 Caps 4

2009-04-12T11:20:00.004-04:00

Well, the 2008-09 Washington Capitals regular season began with a 7-4 stinkbomb on the road against a Southeast Division opponent, why shouldn't it end that way? I guess the good news is that nobody died or got hurt. If nothing else, the Caps are good at keeping the fanbase on their toes.

All coach Bruce Boudreau was looking for in this game was to head into the playoffs on a high note. Preferably with a strong defensive effort in front of Jose Theodore. It wasn't too much to ask against the Florida Panthers, who were just eliminated from playoff contention. The game was meaningless. Plus, the Caps came into this same arena, against this same team a month ago and held them to 0 shots in the 3rd period. Shouldn't be too hard, right?

Umm, yeah. The Caps turned in one of the worst defensive efforts they have put on this year. It was a litany of bad pinches, poor puck-moving and too many odd-man rushes. The Caps D had no answer for Florida's David Booth, who racked up two goals and three assists. Even though he gave up 6 goals, Theo was mostly hung out to dry, facing a lot of two-on-ones, tipped shots and breakaways. Although he's played at a Norris Trophy level all season, Mike Green was maybe the worst offender. He got burned up ince on bad pinches for a breakaway goal by Radek Dvorak (who skated within 3 feet of Theodore and took a slapshot. My old teammate Louie would be proud) and a 2-on-1 goal by Booth. Greener's not going to want to send this one in on the Norris resume tape.

Besides that, the Caps as a team were outskated and outworked by the Panthers. They were fortunate to be in this one to begin with, and when Alex Ovechkin scored #56 to tie the game at 4 late in the 3rd period, it looked like the Caps may escape. But as was the case all night, the mental focus wasn't there and the Panthers scored two goals in 8 seconds (both on odd-man rushes) to end any hope for Washington. Just a very poor effort all around and not the way you want to go into the playoffs.

The only thing we did find out last night is who the Caps will be facing in the 1st round. And your winner is: the New York Rangers. Game 1 will mark the first time in almost a month the Caps have faced a playoff team. I'll have a little preview up here early next week but needless to say, the A-game is going to be needed. A first round exit is no longer acceptable. Now we're going to see if this team is the bunch that went 4-1 against NHL heavy hitters Boston and Detroit, or the team that got beat 4-1 at home by the 2nd worst team in the NHL.

Here's last night's horrorshow as documented by NHL.com.

So, it's on to the Stanley Cup playoffs and a date with the boys from Gotham City. But for one last time in the regular season, let's say good night to da bad guys.

Orioles 6 Rays 0

2009-04-12T10:47:00.004-04:00

The Orioles guaranteed themselves a second series win over an alleged AL East contender with a fairly easy 6-0 win over the Tampa Bay Rays. In the words of the movie "Major League," "Maybe these guys ain't so fuckin' bad?"

The game, for all intents and purposes, was over in the first inning when the O's jumped all over Tampa starter Jeff Niemann for five runs, punctuated by a Melvin Mora grand slam. Jeremy Guthrie looked sharp, scattering 5 hits over 6 innings of work. Relievers Matt Albers, Jamie Walker and Chris Ray each gave up a hit but managed to pitch their way out of any trouble. Ray in particular has been a mystery man this year: he looked great in spring but has been bombed in two outings so far. It looked like he'd be the guy to blow the shutout after giving up a walk and a double to Dioneer Navarro. But he recovered and ended up striking out the side, giving a little Dennis Eckersley-style fist pump after K'ing Akinori Iwamura to end the game. Let's hope this is the beginning of Ray returning to the dominating form he showed in spring.

There was very little to note from this game after the first inning but two things struck me. One, did the O's grounds crew put flubber down on that warning track. The first five games at Oriole Park have seen a ton of ground ruled doubles, where the ball hits that track and bounces about 30 feet in the air. It looks like bouncing a tennis ball on asphault.

Second, the O's did not take a series from Tampa all year last year. Now, they've done it in two games. Like I said in the opening, these guys may not be so fucking bad, especially if they get some decent pitching, because they certainly can hit.

So the O's will try to go for the sweep this afternoon. Things will be a bit tougher with Rays ace James Shields going to the hill against O's fifth starter Adam Eaton. But until then, if you like an Orioles win, give me a Huzzah!

Happy Easter!

2009-04-12T10:42:00.003-04:00

The Hangar would like to wish everyone a Happy Easter! I'll have the recaps of last night's Caps and O's games up here quick for your reading pleasure when you need a break from stuffing yourself with dinner and chocolate. Enjoy suckas!

Today's Ric Flair Words Of Wisdom

2009-04-11T10:00:00.002-04:00

Since the Caps are heading into the playoffs (tonight is the final regular season game) here's some words of advice from Slick Ric as the boys in red chase the Stanley Cup.

"'Cause if you're not carrying the big gold, you're second best no matter what you tell yourself, WOOOO!"

Orioles 5 Rays 4

2009-04-11T08:49:00.004-04:00

A little late getting this up (not that anybody gives a crap) but the Baltimore Orioles are now 3-1 thanks to a 5-4 victory last night over the defending AL champion Tampa Bay Rays (still weird to say that). The O's can guarantee a second series win tonight against what figures to be one of the top teams in the division. We've seen the O's get off to good starts before, only to crap the bed come August and September. But so far there is something a bit more encouraging about this team. Right now, the O's top 3 hitters (Brian Roberts, Adam Jones and Nick Markakis) look as solid as any in baseball. Those three guys hit the crap out of the ball again last night, collecting five hits and scoring 4 of the 5 Oriole runs. Melvin Mora, who hit so well last year with runners in scoring position, knocked in 3 RBIs, hopefully picking up where he left off last year.

Now, if you asked me who my two least favorite Orioles were at the beginning of this season I would have told you without hesitation: Mark Hendrickson and Danys Baez. I nearly strained my voice screaming "NOOOOO!!" when the O's signed Hendrickson, a 6'9 lefty who couldn't break a Cheez-It with his fastball. I saw Hendrickson plenty in his days with the Dodgers and wasn't very impressed. Baez, much like Hendrickson, was also with the Dodgers, stunk there, got signed by the Orioles and stunk in 2007 before missing all of last year with arm injuries.

With that said, of course those two guys would look very sharp last night. Hendrickson allowed plenty of baserunners in his 5 1/3 innings pitched (6 hits and two walks) but he pitched himself out of it and only gave up one run, a homer to Evan Longoria. Baez was even more impressive and looks reborn if his first two appearances this year are any indication. He struck out four Rays over his 1 2/3 innings of no-hit ball. He looks like the guy who saved 40 games for the Rays a couple of years ago.

And yet, the O's bullpen made it interesting again. This time, it was the guys who were good last year, Jim Johnson and George Sherrill providing the heart palpitations. Johnson especially looked shaky, giving up a two-run homer to Longoria to turn a 5-1 game into a 5-3 nailbiter. Of course, shaky is Sherrill's business and Flat Breezy was up to his usual tricks, striking out all three Rays he faced but also giving up a homer to Dioneer Navarro. Business as usual, right Georgie?

Other than the bullpen, the only other worry sign for the O's is the inability to stop other teams' running game. The Yankees stole four bases in three games when they were here and Tampa Bay added another one last night. A lot of these steals, the catchers haven't had a chance. The pitchers have to do a much better job of holding guys on.

Small quibbles when you're winning though, and the Orioles are winning out of the gate. Let's see if they can get another one tonight with Jeremy Guthrie on the hill against Jeff Niemann (who?). Until then, if you like an Orioles win, give me a Jai Ho!

Arrivederci, Officer Koharski

2009-04-10T13:43:00.005-04:00

One note I did not make in my Caps recap from last night was that it was the last game for referee Don Koharski. Even non-hockey fans will probably recognize the name Koharski, which really is not good if you're a referee. I can't really say things any better than OFB did in this post from a while back but for what it's worth (not much) I will share three Koharski memories of my own.

1) His infamous blowup with then-New Jersey Devils coach Jim Schoenfeld in the 1988 Wales Conference Finals. This included the line that immortalized Koharski forever, delivered by Schoenfeld, "Have another donut you fat pig!"

2) I give Mike Myers a pass for making "The Love Guru" for one reason: making the ultimate insider hockey reference in a mainstream movie when he gave a donut-eating cop the name Officer Koharski in "Wayne's World." It was like a subliminal message that only hockey fans could pick up. When I watch "Wayne's World" now (the movie is horribly dated these days), I laugh hardest at two parts: the Officer Koharski references and Ed O' Neill's cameo...

3) My ultimate memory of Koharski? This line brawl between the Caps and Flyers in 1990.

While 5 separate fights are going on, Koharski is standing over the goal and taking notes (at about 2:10 of the clip). He's like a hockey Doestoevsky here. That may be the ever lasting memory of Koharski. Standing there, oblivious to the chaos his shoddy officiating has unleashed. Arrivederci, auf wiedershien and goodbye Officer Koharski.

Today's YouTube Clip To Swing Your Heavy Metal Hair To

2009-04-10T12:49:00.004-04:00

If there is one frequently asked question about this blog, it is "How did you come up with the name Hangar 39?" Well, today is your lucky day because I'm going to provide the answer. Granted, I've told three of The Five what it is, but for those that may have stumbled upon this on their travels down the series of tubes that is the information superhighway, here's the scoop. The 39 comes from two sources: one, it was my hockey number at one point. I wore it in honor of one of my favorite players as a kid, Doug Gilmour. Gilmour, who was nicknamed "Killer," wore #39 when he played for the Calgary Flames and when I took the number, there weren't many players out there that had it.

The second comes from this song, which I was listening to when I was thinking of a blog name. It's "Hangar 18" by Megadeth. Now besides the fact that it's a kickass jam, it also comes complete with one of the most ridiculous metal videos ever made (this might have to be a separate post). The video has Megadeth surrounded by Vic Rattlehead and a bunch of Muppets that are supposed to be aliens. One of the aliens, I swear, looks like the creature from "Mac And Me."

So with that, enjoy the heaviness and the unintentional comedy that is "Hangar 18."

Caps 4 Lightning 2

2009-04-09T22:05:00.005-04:00

Today was Mission Accomplished Part 2 as the Caps locked up the #2 seed in the Stanley Cup playoffs via a 4-2 win against the Tampa Bay Lightning. The Caps will draw either the Montreal Canadiens or the New York Rangers in the first round. New York would have the tiebreaker based on wins.

As for tonight's game, well, there was maybe about 15 minutes of it that could be considered a hockey game. Tampa Bay came storming out of the gate early on, getting a goal 30 seconds in by Steven Stamkos and keeping the heat on the Caps for the next 5 minutes. But the Caps slowly asserted control and the Bolts helped them out by giving the Caps power play a 2-man advantage, leading to Brooks Laich's tying goal. From there on, the Lightning would get a few chances but the Caps controlled the action. After two quick second period goals by Laich and David Steckel, the Bolts spent the rest of the 2nd and most of the third looking like they were ready to make golf reservations, chase tail at a Tampa bar, get a suntan at the beach,anything but keep playing hockey. I suppose I don't blame them, it's been a long, tough year. Their 2nd goal, by former Cap Matt Pettinger, was almost by accident but the Bolts did collectively seem to say, "Fuck it, we can play for another 8 minutes." But the Caps once again reasserted command of the game, Mike Green got an open netter after skating through some Swiss cheese defense and the Caps locked up that #2 seed.

Hangar Observations:

- While most of this game had the feel of a glorified scrimmage, one thing I did like was that after the Lightning got back to within one in the third, the Caps didn't panic and methodically kept playing their game. Tampa is a mess, actually, let's just come out and say they suck, but you do like to see short memories like that in the playoffs.

- I didn't like Bruce Boudreau double-shifting Alex Ovechkin in the 3rd period. I know he was trying to help Ovie get that scoring title, but you don't want to get your star hurt in a game like that. Besides, since there was a rash of penalties early in the game, why not get Keith Aucoin, Steckel and Professor Matt Bradley some extra ice time?

- Professor Matt looked like Cam Neely or Brendan Shanahan on that setup to Steckel's goal.

- Laich's second goal was what my teammate Jeff Hudson would call a "snipe."

- While the Lightning have sucked this year, Stamkos has a very bright future.

- Still don't like that Jeff Schultz-Milan Jurcina defence pairing. I know that will change when Tom Poti comes back, but still, they scare the crap out of me back there.

Here now are the highlights from NHL.com

So that's it for this game. All the Eastern Conference playoff spots have been locked up, so Saturday's game with Florida will be meaningless. Let's hope the Caps can get out of there without any injuries and be ready to go for the playoffs. Until the next time, let's call this one more...for the good guys.

Yankees 11 Orioles 2

2009-04-09T16:06:00.009-04:00

I should have taken a picture of the graphic that said "Orioles 2-0 1st Place In AL East." It would have lasted longer. I suppose a game like today was bound to happen. The Orioles bats would fail to knock in runners in scoring position, the Yankees would pummel the inexperienced O's hurlers and the Evil Empire would set things in order.

The turning point in this game, as far as I'm concerned, was Aubrey Huff striking out against Yanks starter A.J. Burnett with the bases loaded. The O's had failed to take advantage of some chances in the first two games of this series, but today was different. You just knew this Yankees lineup was going to get theirs at some point. Despite the big missed chance by Huff, the O's were still in this thing until the 6th inning when the Yanks got a couple of hits, chased Simon after making it 4-2 and then took advantage of an error by Brian Bass to blow the game wide open, leading 7-2 after that 6th inning. Robinson Cano added a garbage 2-run homer to rack up some bonus fantasy stats. The horribly named Nick Swisher clobbered O's pitching something fierce with a 2-run homer and a 2-run double. Chris Ray got shelled again. Glad I took him over George Sherrill in my fantasy draft.

The toughest part about this game was Big Cash getting his first home run. I suppose it was bound to happen, but I could have handled this loss a lot better without seeing the big dollar sign hitting one out. I was also a bit disappointed Big Cash wasn't booed as vociforously as he was in the 1st two games. We're not gonna let him off that easy are we? Just because Colin "Schrutebag" Cowherd said something about it?
"Wanted: For crimes against sports talk radio"

Keep booing him. Here's what you can do: pretend Big Cash is Jeffrey Maier. That ought to work. Or, I can put his smirking, two-faced grin up on the screen again...

Is that not the face of a guy you want to boo? I know I do.

So, it's one loss. The beauty of baseball is that you can lose 80 games and still have a winning record. But losing to Big Cash and the Yankees still carries some sting. Don't take my word for it though, take the word of the former Chancellor of the German Empire Otto von Bismarck...

Otto: "Scheisse"

Today's Ric Flair Words Of Wisdom

2009-04-09T10:57:00.002-04:00

Since today is a big day for the Good Guys (O's can sweep the Yanks, more booing of Big Cash, Caps can clinch 2nd seed in the East) I figured this was a very appropriate Ric Flair speech to get us all fired up. WOOOOO!! Tell 'em Naitch!

Orioles 7 Yankees 5 - Magic Number: 160

2009-04-08T23:35:00.005-04:00

Konichiwa Koji Uehara! Welcome aboard, as the O's guaranteed themselves an opening series win over the dreaded New York Yankees.

The bullpen was shaky again, a reversal from last year, but the O's hit the crap out of the ball for a second straight game, causing Yanks starter Chien-Ming Wang to come up limp. Right off the bat, you could tell the Oriole hitters were still in the groove from opening day, getting three extra base-hits in the 1st inning, then chasing a flaccid Wang after 3 2/3 innings when Nick Markakis hit a bomb to put the home team up 7-1. Up 7-2 after 5, for some reason O's manager Dave Trembley pulled Koji and put in Matt Albers, who proceeded to make things interesting. Dennis Sarfate did the same, giving up a 2-run homer to Derek Jeter. Trembley's explanation after the game was that he's trying to limit Koji's pitch count early on. Not a bad strategy, but through two games, its clear the bullpen is a little slow out of the gate.

Still, it was a nice follow-up to the stellar opening day, and the O's have now put some panic into New York early on. They've bombed two former 20-game winners in a row. The crowd was smaller than opening day, but the O's fans were once again into things from beginning to end. Let's try to keep this support up all year.

And now, comes the part where I rip Mark Teixeria again. First, let me uphold the new Baltimore tradition...

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

If Big Cash thought the worst was over, he was dead wrong. Again, the crowd wasn't as big as on opening day, but they still let Big Cash have it everytime he stepped up to the plate. As if we needed more fuel to boo this goof, he provided some. If Big Cash was thinking he was going to quiet the boobirds by playing the "I always rooted for the Orioles. Except for when Don Mattingly came to town" card, he's sadly mistaken. Got news for ya Big Cash, the boos aren't going to stop. You got 8 more years of this. It's the price you pay for signing a contract with the Yankees for roughly the GDP of Namibia and talking out of both sides of your mouth. All he had to do was say, "I'm going wherever the best deal is," and no one would have cared. We would have been disappointed, sure, but we would have understood. But instead, he wants to have his cake and eat it too. He wanted the big money contract but he wants everybody to like him. Doesn't work that way, especially not in Baltmo, where slights are seldom forgiven. Like I said yesterday, Big Cash could have been the King of Baltimore but he chose to be just another hired gun in New York. I just look forward to the day four years from now when Big Cash is introduced at Oriole Park...and is still showered with boos while he makes a face that says "Why are they still booing me?" The thought is priceless.

So, its 2-0 for the O's on the young season. Big sports day for the Good Guys tomorrow: Caps can clinch the 2nd seed in the Eastern Conference and the O's can sweep the Yankees. Until then, in honor of our new Japanese pitcher, if you like an Orioles win, give me a Domo Arigato!

Kurt Cobain - 15 Years Later

2009-04-08T21:08:00.006-04:00

April 8, 1994. The day the music really died.

It was the day Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain's body was found in his Seattle house after committing suicide. For anyone between the ages of 14-35, you remember that day the way people remember 9/11, the moon landing or the JFK assassination. I know I remember where I was. I was at my dad's house when MTV's Kurt Loder came on and read the news the Cobain was dead. I remember thinking that it couldn't be true. Kurt Cobain, dead? No way. Cobain was my guy. He was my teenage angst come to life. Nirvana was MY band. He couldn't be dead. But the sad news was true. I remember my dad and old carmudgeons like Andy Rooney seemed to take some sort of perverse pleasure in Cobain's death. As if it justified their belief that Cobain was a talentless drug addict whom the world was well rid of.

I hadn't thought about that time in a while. I listen to Nirvana every now and again, but not that much. But when March turned to April, I immediately thought about writing a blog like this. Not sure why. Maybe it was the fact that I felt really, really old knowing Cobain had been dead for 15 years. I was in 10th grade at the time and it seems not THAT long ago. The funny thing is, when I think about Cobain now, I don't think about Nirvana or the great music he left behind. When I think about the 15 years since his death, my first thought is that Cobain didn't just kill himself when he put that shotgun to his mouth and pulled the trigger. He killed mainstream rock n' roll as an important, life-altering, pissing-your-parents-off entity.

Maybe it's painting things with a broad brush to say that Kurt Cobain's death killed rock n' roll. But it's also important to think back to the seven year period before April 8, 1994. Starting with Guns 'N Roses' "Appetite For Destruction" in 1987 and ending with Cobain's death in 1994, that period was one of the most amazing periods of music that has ever been put together. You had Guns with "Appetite" and later "Lies" and the "Illusion" albums. Jane's Addiction with "Nothing's Shocking" and "Ritual De Lo Habitual."

Things really took off in the early 90s. Nirvana exploded with "Nevermind" and then "In Utero." Pearl Jam had "Ten" and "VS." Alice In Chains with "Facelift," "Dirt" and "Jar Of Flies." Soundgarden had "Badmotorfinger" and "Superunknown." And that was just Seattle. Rage Against The Machine and Stone Temple Pilots put out their debut, and strongest, albums. The Smashing Pumpkins had "Gish" and "Siamese Dream." U2 had "Achtung Baby." The Red Hot Chili Peppers put out their only good album, "Blood Sugar Sex Magik."

The high quality wasn't just in alt-rock either. Metal saw Metallica put out "...And Justice For All" and "The Black Album" during the period. Slayer had "Seasons In The Abyss." Industrial rock had Nine Inch Nails' "Pretty Hate Machine," "Broken" and "The Downward Spiral" and Ministry's "Psalm 69." Prog rock had Tool's "Undertow." Even rap had one of its strongest periods ever with "Straight Outta Compton" by N.W.A., Dr. Dre's "The Chronic," Snoop Dogg's "Doggystyle," Wu-Tang Clan's "Enter The Wu-Tang" and Notorious B.I.G's "Ready To Die." I'm sure I have forgotten many more but I think you get the point, this was a great time for music. The crazy thing is, not only were those albums of high quality, just about all of them sold a shitload of records.

Then Cobain pulled that trigger and it all fell apart. The whole damn music scene seemed to go with him. Jane's Addiction, Guns N' Roses, Soundgarden and Alice In Chains all imploded for various reasons. Gangsta rap would follow suit a couple years later with the deaths of B.I.G and Tupac Shakur and the genre as a whole would sink into an abyss of crass commercialism. NIN and Metallica didn't put out albums for 5 years. Pearl Jam got into wars with fame and Ticketmaster that sunk their mainstream popularity for almost a decade. The Smashing Pumpkins, thought at the time to be the natural successors to Nirvana's throne, quickly descended into bloated rock excess and then flat-out self-parody.

And with that, much like the 1970s New Hollywood after "Heaven's Gate," the beancounters took over. Mainstream music now is product, like a cheeseburger at McDonald's. Sure, there's some good bands out there, but it's all underground. Everything is splintered off into all these different categories. For some reason, it seemed different back then, like how Nirvana and GWAR could both be on "Headbanger's Ball" on the same night.

Rock 'n roll is no longer vital, dangerous or important on a large scale level. Everything is "pop-rock" which is just another way of saying "bubblegum pop music." It's all so soulless and corporate. You got no-talent hacks like Britney Spears running around, not even pretending to sing and charging $200 to see her do so. You got Kanye West using technology to make it seem like he can sing.

There was nothing soulless and corporate about Cobain. What made him work then and what makes him work now is that he was the real deal. His death has cemented, maybe even become his legacy. Sure we remember "Nevermind" and the music, but we remember that he died young. We hear the name Kurt Cobain and wonder what could have been more than what was. The only other public figures that I can think of like him are JFK and Len Bias. The questions about Cobain are endless:

-Would Nirvana have broken up? Or would they still be chugging along, going from hit to hit like U2 or Dave Grohl's post-Nirvana band Foo Fighters?

- Would he have gone solo? If so, what would he sound like? Would he have flamed out like Billy Corgan? Would he have sold out like Chris Cornell?

- What would he have looked like as a 40 year old?

- What would Nirvana sound like? How would they fit in to the modern music landscape?

It's all about the what-could-have-beens. In 10 years, there will be a full generation of kids that will only know Cobain from books, Wikipedia and "Guitar Hero." With iTunes and internet file-sharing, most of these kids will never have the experience I got to have in 1991-92, when my grandmother drove me to the record store to buy a cassette copy of "Nevermind." Of putting the album on my Walkman and being blown away, from the first chords of "Smells Like Teen Spirit" to the sad ending of "Something In The Way." You can't have an experience like that over a computer. The weird thing is, I doubt you could even have a Nirvana anymore. It's highly unlikely a band like that will ever make that kind of cultural impact on a major label ever again. That time, 1987-1994, was so good because it seemed the suits didn't know what was going to catch on. Now, I wonder if Kurt Cobain could even get a record deal these days.

So how do I wrap this up? I don't know. I guess the thing I take out of this 15th anniversary is that the years will keep adding up, 15 years, 20, 25, 30, but Cobain will live on. He'll always be 27, he'll always be the guy that ignited a cultural revolution in America that was all-too-brief and he'll always be the guy that ended it himself. And maybe, just maybe, it's exactly the way he wanted it to be.

Today's Ric Flair Words Of Wisdom

2009-04-08T15:54:00.003-04:00

I'm introducing a new little thing in lieu of the clip to swing your heavy metal hair to. Instead of metal, I'll impart you with words of wisdom from the greatest wrassler of all-time, "Nature Boy" Ric Flair. That way, I can change it up on The Five and keep ya'll guessing. Will it be metal? Will it be Flair? Will you give a shit? Probably not. Anyway, tonight I'll have a recap of game two of Orioles-Yankees and a music piece relevant to April 8. But enough foreshadowing, here's Slick Ric. WOOOOOOO!!!

The Tao Of Rog

2009-04-08T13:05:00.004-04:00

You know, sometimes I wonder why I do this here blog and The Day Job. After all, whether it's real or just in my own mind, I always think my writings reach only a small handful of people (hence why I call you readers "The Five.") It's often ball-busting work for little to no money and very little recognition, other than by the few who dare skim through these turgid pages. But then I read something like this from one of my writing heroes, Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun-Times, and it kinda sums up why I keep doing this stuff.

Caps 4 Thrashers 2

2009-04-07T21:38:00.005-04:00

It was a little ragged a times (what else is new?) but the Washington Capitals are now a win or a New Jersey loss from locking up the #2 seed in the Eastern Conference after a 4-2 win over the Atlanta Thrashers.

The Caps looked like they were going to turn this one into a laugher early on, as they picked up right where they left off in the 3rd period of Sunday's game against the Thrash. But in the 2nd period, they reverted back to the inconsistent group they were in March before turning up the defensive intensity again in the 3rd. Thanks to the Toronto Maple Leafs, who beat New Jersey 4-1 tonight, the Caps are 4 points up on the Devils with 2 games to play.

The importance of that 2nd seed cannot be overstated. It makes the difference between facing a team like Montreal, who just lost their two top defenceman, or facing a red-hot team like Carolina or Pittsburgh. As a Caps fan, getting that #2 seed would work out beautifully. Not only would they get to face a weaker opponent like Montreal, New York Rangers or Florida (although Pittsburgh could concievably fall to the 7 seed) but it would mean two of the following four tough rivals would be out in a 2nd round matchup: Pittsbugh, Philly, Carolina and New Jersey. Personally, I'd love to see Pittsburgh and Philly knock each other out and then New Jersey and Carolina play a tough, seven game series.

Hangar Observations:

- Simeon Varlamov was the player of the game tonight. He kept the Caps in this game in the 2nd period when it looked like the Thrash had the Caps on their heels. The kid may not be there yet, but its clear to see he has a very bright future in this league. His athleticism and rebound control are better than Jose Theodore's. He made a great save on Atlanta sniper Ilya Kovalchuk on a 2 on 1 look easy. The only thing Varly lacks Theo's experience and puck-handling ability. I'm sure many Caps fans will see an effort like tonight and want to give the kid the nod over Theo. But unless Theo bombs, there's no reason to risk the kid's confidence and turning Varly into a basket case like Carey Price in Montreal.

- After Varly, I'd say Nicklas Backstrom was the next best player on the ice. The pass that led to Viktor Kozlov's goal was a thing of beauty and splitting him up from Alex Ovechkin helps open up the secondary scoring opportunities for others. Backstrom is quickly becoming a favorite of mine. You can always rely on him and his game is so understated, you don't notice that he's a top-10 scorer in this league. Plus, the weakest part of his game, faceoffs, is rapidly improving.

- Craig Laughlin said it best on Tomas Fleischmann's goal: "Just put it on the net and anything can happen." Flash did that and the puck went in off Atlanta's Marty Reasoner for the Caps first goal. With goals in two straight games, let's hope Flash is finally back on track. Somebody else is going to need to score in the playoffs.

- I'm glad to not have to see Kovalchuk until next year. He put a move on Jeff Schultz that just undressed the Sarge. Kovalchuk is like Ovechkin-lite, anytime he touches the puck, something can happen. If Kovy played in New York, Toronto, Chicago or L.A., he'd be doing silly car commercials, just like Ovie. If Gary Bettman had any sense, he'd get this guy out of the hockey wasteland that is Atlanta.

- For once, it was nice to see the Caps make a quick response to another team's goal. After Rich Peverley scored to tie the game for Atlanta, Kozzy and Backstrom teamed up 30 seconds later to take the lead back.

- As a hockey player myself, I'm often very jealous of the pros. These guys can do some things that are just unbelievable. And if I were to want one thing that a pro hockey player has, I would give my right arm to have Alex Semin's stickhandling ability. That curl-and-drag move of his is lethal.

- Dirty Al Koken was filling in for Joe B. on the play-by-play and it was nice to see Dirty Al with an homage to his old broadcast partner Mike Fornes with his "Shot...and a GOAL!" call. Not quite as emphatic as Mike used to do but I'll applaud the effort.

- Mike Green's penalty for playing the puck with a broken stick might be one of the dumbest plays I've seen a pro hockey player make.

- The Caps really took command of this game after getting an insurance goal by Sergei Fedorov in the 3rd. The defense clearly stepped things up and suffocated the Thrashers offense. That killer instinct is also going to be needed in the playoffs.

With that, here's the highlights from NHL.com

So, only two more games left in the regular season before the most wonderful time of the year: playoff time. But for now, let's call this one more...for the good guys.

The Morning After

2009-04-07T10:40:00.005-04:00

For one day at least, it is a glorious time to be a Baltimore Orioles fan. We just spanked the New York Yankees and their $200 million team on opening day. And our booing of Mark Teixeira is the talk of the baseball world.

Check it out, O's fans made:
Deadspin

D.C. Sports Bog

and Yahoo's Big League Stew blog.

Not only that, but when you search for this here blog on Google, the words "lowlife, front-running, chickenshit motherfucker" come up. Really, really good times.

So now that we O's fans have shown Big Cash, I mean Tex, how we feel about him, now its time to add another man to the shitlist. This guy will be a lot tougher to boo than Big Cash but if we see him around town, he should be given the same treatment. It's Fox Sports baseball columnist Ken Rosenthal.

Just like Big Cash, this guy has Baltimore ties (he worked for the Sun) and has plied his trade nationally by shitting on the Orioles at every opportunity. He piled on big time after the 30-3 debacle against Texas two years ago with a scathing column about O's owner Peter Angelos (alas, it is no longer online). Ok, fine. The criticism was warranted at that time. But then he goes out and writes a column saying we had no rational reason to boo Big Cash yesterday. No rational reason? Wha!?! Apparently Kenny doesn't read Hangar 39 much. Bottom line is, in Baltmo, we never forget a slight and Big Cash slighted us. It wasn't about the money, it wasn't about the Yankees. It was about the fact that Big Cash was a disingenous douchebag. If he had just said something to the effect of "It was about the money" or "I wanted to play for the Yankees the whole time," he wouldn't have got booed as bad.

As bad as Big Cash's foot-in-mouth disease, it was nothing like Rosenthal. Just read this self-aggrandizing interview with a fawning Rick Maese on the Sun's website. My favorite part is that Angelos owes HIM an apology for PA's calling him out after that Texas article two years ago. Give me a break. Please, Fox, do us all a favor and don't send this guy anywhere near Oriole Park for the rest of this season.

Orioles 10 Yankees 5- Magic Number: 161

2009-04-06T23:13:00.007-04:00

Great way to start a season eh? Beating the dreaded, hated Yankees. Pounding $160 million fat ass C.C. Sabathia into submission (seriously, did you see the size of Sabathia out there? Dude looked like a sperm whale. As my old man would say, "He don't look like he's skipped too many meals.") It was one of the most satisfying opening day wins I can remember in quite some time. Yes, it was only one game, and the pitching was as suspect as O's fans expected. But who gives a crap? For one day, we whacked Sabathia and the Yanks pitchers around the ballpark.

The top 3 in the batting order, Nick "The Greek" Markakis, Brian Roberts and Adam Jones, looked lethal at the plate. The Yankees pitchers couldn't get them out all day. Cesar Izturis did more at the plate and in the field in one game than last year's shit sandwich of Freddy Bynum, Alex Cintron and Luis Hernandez did all season, even bringing a small measure of cosmic revenge for Jeffery Fuckin' Maier in 1996 with his home run.

But the real point of this little rant is to tell all the O's fans that were in attendance today: Bravo! You not only took back Oriole Park at Camden Yards, a place that for far too long had become the personal domain of the Sal's, Anthony's and Vinnie's making their way down from New York but you gave Mark Teixeira the booing of a lifetime. And it couldn't have happened to a bigger douchebag than Teixeira.

"Double talkin' jive
Get the money motherfucker
Cuz I got no more patience"
- Axl Rose

Here's the thing, Yankee fans and outsiders won't completely understand the venom we have towards Tex. They all think it was because he signed with the Yankees and not the Orioles. Or because he took the Yanks' $180 million over the O's $150 million. But really, the reason we gave him the Elway treatment and booed his ass all the way back to the Bronx wasn't because of either of those things. Oh sure, they were a part of it, but the real reason is because Tex, a Severna Park native, could have come back to Baltimore and been the hero of the day. He could have been the beacon of the O's return from the baseball graveyard. Some O's fans were looking forward to his free agent year for 3 seasons. A good portion of the fan base was ready to build him a statue to go with Johnny U's. The thought of a local boy coming home and helping to resurrect the Orioles to their place as a top organization was just too good to be true. He got everybody's hopes up by indicating through the press that coming back to play in Baltimore (or in D.C.) would be a real thrill for him. We salivated at the thought of this guy hitting his 35 homers and 100 RBIs in orange and black.

So when he revealed himself to be just another baseball mercenary, it felt like a real double-cross. But even then, we could live with Tex signing with the Yankees. We could live with the money. But when he gave that press conference for the New York media where he talked about how it was his dream to play for the Yankees, how Don Mattingly was his favorite player and how he would go to games at Camden Yards wearing a Yankees cap, well, that was the last straw. Tex wouldn't just get a token booing like Mike Mussina did. No no, he would get an epic kind of booing. A John Elway/Robert Irsay-style booing. The kind of vitorol that most people don't think Baltimore fans have but oh, we do.

My only worry going into today was that the Yankee fans would drown out the boos. But O's fans, you guys came up clutch.

We booed Tex so bad, he revealed himself as utterly and completely full of crap. "In a perfect world, I'd be an Oriole?" Uh, Tex, Judge Hangar has found you guilty of being a lowlife, front-running, chickenshit motherfucker. I got news for ya big man, that $180 mil bought you 8 more years of booings like this. We O's fans can take comfort in the fact that for 10 games a season for the next 8 YEARS, we can come to the Yard and boo Tex out of the ballpark. That we can look forward to a whole series of damage control statements like this one. You could have been a hero Tex but now, we O's fans hope when you go for crab cakes, the chef, the hostess, the patrons and the waiter boo your ass as well. Like Johnny Utah told Roach at the end of "Point Break," "I hope it was worth it."

So, it's 1-0 for the O's with a day off tomorrow before playing opening night against the Yanks on Wednesday. Until next time, if ya like an Orioles win, give me a HELL YEAH!!

The Return of Barksdale

2009-04-06T22:59:00.005-04:00

Apparently Baltimore wasn't such a bad town for Samari Rolle. After asking the Ravens to release him, Rolle has reupped with the team for 4 more years.

From the sounds of the Sun's story, Avon Barksdale's double drank the purple Kool-Aid after a face-to-face meeting with GM Jim Jones, I mean, Ozzie Newsome. The move is yet another indication that the Ravens will go with a wide receiver in the draft, having signed Rolle, Chris Carr and Domonique Foxworth to address the need for depth at cornerback. Where Samari fits in that mix, who knows, but his veteran skills, fur coat and Louis Vuitton bag will certainly come in handy.

Once again...
...Samari....

...Avon...

...one in the same?

Today's YouTube Clip To Swing Your Heavy Metal Hair To

2009-04-05T23:32:00.002-04:00

Ok, one last post before I call it a day here at the Hangar. I haven't given you something to bang your head to yet, so why not turn to one of the best. It's the legendary Pantera with "Drag The Waters" from their most underrated record, "The Great Southern Trendkill." Enjoy and good night suckas.

Remembering The Goon

2009-04-05T21:50:00.003-04:00

I don't normally pimp the work of other bloggers but since he's put in a kind word about the Hangar before, I figure it can't hurt to send a little love back.

On the day of Wrestlemania 25, Puck Daddy's Greg Wyshynski uncovered this gem, the debut of every hockey fan's favorite wrestler: The Goon.

The crazy thing about this is that The Goon wasn't the worst gimmick that Vince McMahon ever thought of, not even top 5 (I'd say that list would be Mantaur, Duke "The Dumpster" Drose, The Red Rooster, Skinner and The Berzerker.)

Needless to say, The Goon's introductory clip gets funnier everytime you see it. How can you not crack up at Vince's over-the-top faux indignation at The Goon's hockey playing: "OH COME ON, THAT'S HIGH-STICKING!!!"

If that weren't enough, there was The Goon's entrance music, wrestling boots (which looked like hockey skates) and habit of dropping his stick and gloves before his match. I certainly prefer that over The Berzerker's "HUSS! HUSS! HUSS!" gimmick.

Alas, The Goon didn't catch on and quickly landed in jobber territory, even getting the honor of being pinned by The Undertaker in roughly 3 seconds.

Of course, no part of The Goon's career ever topped McMahon himself and his all-time unintentional comedy classic song "Stand Back."

Let's face it, you can never go wrong with Vince McMahon singing & gyrating around like he's got fire ants in his shorts, Hulk Hogan pretending to play bass and the trio of "Macho Man" Randy Savage, Jake "The Snake" Roberts and Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake on horns.

Caps 6 Thrashers 4

2009-04-05T17:52:00.005-04:00

Someone needs to make a tape of the 3rd period of today's game and play it before every Caps game from here on in. Whoever shows that tape needs to tell the team, "THAT is what you guys can do if you consistently bring it."

The Thrashers had no answer for the Caps in the 3rd period, as the boys in red seemed to come in waves, one right after another. They made Atlanta's defense look foolish, forcing a myriad of bad turnovers. Of course, the next question is, "Why can't they do that for 60 minutes?"

Third period aside, it was yet another listless effort through two. If my old coach Marc Felizzi was coaching this team he would be freaking out behind the bench telling the players "NO BLIND PASSES UP THE MIDDLE!!!!" Sergei Fedorov did it against Buffalo on Friday and it cost the Caps an extra point. Alex Ovechkin did it today and it cost them a goal. Just inexcusable stuff. These guys have been taught since Mites not to throw blind passes up the middle and they've done it two games in a row. As much heat as Jose Theodore takes in the clueless mainstream media, without Theo in the first period, the Caps might have been on their way to another stinkbomb against Atlanta.

But, oh that 3rd period. It truly is a pleasure to watch this team when they play like that. When they work and forecheck the crap out of the opposition, they are impossible to stop. The team that skated the 3rd period could win the Stanley Cup. The team that skated the first 40 minutes could get swept in the first round. That's the freakin' tightrope this Caps team walks and until they figure out a way to bring that 3rd period for 60 minutes, it's going to be a turbulent ride through the playoffs.

The Hangar's observations:

- Keith Aucoin was the best player on the ice today. He had a goal and an assist and you could see coach Bruce Boudreau get more confidence in him as this game rolled along. If Aucoin isn't taking a regular shift in the playoffs, well, somebody's got to lay off the peyote. Along with Brooks Laich and Dave Steckel, Aucoin is just the sort of guy who the Caps are going to need.

- Finally, Tomas Fleischmann scored a goal, temporarily ending his own personal nightmare of a 2009.

- The goal Colby Armstrong scored, Atlanta's first, is all on Tom Poti. He's got to step up and meet Armstrong a lot higher than the top of the slot. By that point, you're at the mercy of the shooter at the NHL level.

- I don't like that Milan Jurcina-Jeff Schultz defense pairing. They would get murdered in a 7-game series, especially against a speedy team like Montreal or Carolina. I know Brian Pothier was scratched to make room for Juice, but I'd rather see Pothier, Mike Green and Poti as at least half the defense in the playoffs. then have some combination of Schultz, John Erskine, Jurcina and Shaone Morrisonn.

- How did the Caps not score on that first period power play when TWO Thrashers broke their sticks?

- Speaking of the PP, it wasn't the best of days for the NHL's 2nd ranked unit. They gave up a shorthanded goal in the 2nd after Ovie's turnover (Repeat: NO BLIND PASSES OVER THE MIDDLE!) Too much Danglefest 2009 for the first few chances. But things did turn around when Aucoin was put out there. He slammed home a great feed from Ovie for his PP marker and in the 3rd, the Caps put on a puck possession clinic, even though they didn't score.

- Since the Caps are playing the Thrash again on Tuesday night, here's a tip: Do NOT let Ilya Kovalchuk have room. If he gets any space, he's deadly.

- I liked the combination of Eric Fehr, Michael Nylander and Brooks Laich. Nylander played a strong game, and got that 3rd period barrage rolling with his knucklepuck that eluded ATL goaltender Johan Hedberg. Fehr put the Caps ahead for good by going relentless towards the net. Fehr needs to take a page from my old teammate Derek Russ and don't venture more than 5 feet from the goal. Good things happen for him there.

- The Thrashers defense was brutal on Fehr's goal but they were worse on the next goal, a brilliant piece of tic-tac-toe passing between Aucoin, Fleischmann and Alex Semin. That goal was gorgeousness and gorgeousity made real (bet you won't find a "Clockwork Orange" reference like that on any other blog.) The passing and puck handling was great but the Thrash just looked clueless out there defensively. To the Caps credit, they FORCED Atlanta into that with hard work, quick puck movement and heavy forechecking. If they do that all the time they're going places (are you sensing a theme with this wrapup?)

- The Caps scored 6 goals today, none of them by guys named Ovechkin, Green or Backstrom. They're going to need that secondary scoring in the playoffs. Let's hope this game was just the beginning of more balance in the Caps lineup.

- Ovie did get two points today, drawing him closer to Pittsburgh's Evgeni Malkin for the league scoring title but this wasn't one of his better games. He had that bad giveaway on Jim Slater's shorthanded goal and seemed to give up a lot of good looks instead of trying to score goals. That's more like Nylander than Ovechkin.

- I praised Jose Theodore earlier this post, now I come to bury him. Jose- What the fuck were you thinking? He looked like he was trying to score a goal in Atlanta's empty net but whiffed and gave it right to Slava Kozlov. It was the best pass Kozlov's probably had all year.

Anyway, enough of my rambling, here's the highlights from NHL.com.

With this win, the Caps go back up two points on idle New Jersey for the 2nd seed in the Eastern Conference playoffs. As mentioned before, the team will make one more stop in Atlanta before closing out in Florida against Tampa Bay and the Panthers. So until then, let's call this one more...for the good guys.

Arrivederci, Kyle Boller

2009-04-05T12:08:00.009-04:00

The handwriting had been on the wall since last preseason but yesterday it was made official: Kyle Boller is no longer a member of the Baltimore Ravens.

As the draft approaches and Ravens fans can let out a big "FINALLY!" at the arrival of Joe Flacco as (hopefully) the long-term solution to Baltmo's quarterbacking woes, I figured I'd take a look back at the man that should have been king, Boller.

Maybe we should have known Boller would be a bust right from the get-go. He was the quarterback on some of the most gawd-awful Cal teams of recent history, posting only one winning season during his tenure with the Golden Bears. Most Ravens fans, like myself, hadn't even heard of him up until the 2003 draft. It was in that leadup that then-Coach Brian Billick fell in love with Boller like George McFly at the "Enchantment Under The Sea" dance. It was well-known that Ravens GM Ozzie Newsome wanted Marshall QB Byron Leftwich and the Ravens attempted to trade up ahead of Jacksonville (who were also eyeing him) to get Ozzie's guy. But a screw-up with the trade card (don't ask) enabled Jacksonville to jump up to the podium and pick Leftwich (turns out, things probably worked out for the better. Without Leftwich, who has bounced around the league, the Ravens picked Terrell Suggs & his partner 'Lil Sizzle.) Still in need of a future franchise QB, the Ravens went to Plan B: Boller.

As stated earlier, despite his lack of collegiate accomplishments, Billick fell in love with Boller in pre-draft workouts for one reason: he had a big arm. Every Ravens fan worth their salt can still remember that ESPN video of Boller firing the ball 60 yards on one knee through the uprights (sadly, there is no video on YouTube.)This wasn't the first time Billick went ga-ga over a guy who looked great throwing the ball in shorts.

In 2001, coming off a Super Bowl championship, Billick dumped Trent Dilfer for Elvis Grbac. Dilfer was erratic and often ugly throwing the ball, but he was a winner and the team respected him. Grbac, on the other hand, was your classic "look like Tarzan, play like Jane" guy. Grbac had a cannon arm, was tall and could wow you in workouts (I saw this firsthand at 2001 training camp). But when the heat was on and he got hit a few times, Grbac was softer than toilet paper. By the end of the 2001 season, the team was begging Billick to play a decrepit Randall Cunningham over Grbac. Cunningham may not have had Grbac's tools but at least he wasn't going to cry on the sidelines like Grbac once did in a game against Cleveland.

That history did not stop Billick from thinking he could harness the lightning in Boller's right arm. In Billick's mind, Boller was the Chosen One and, in a ego-driven move, sent his new padawan learner to the wolves, tabbing the rookie to start opening day in Pittsburgh. Predictably, the kid wasn't ready and the Steelers ate him for lunch. That one move set the stage for Boller's career and tied Billick's future to the kid's (here's a hint: neither is with the Ravens anymore.)

Over the next few years, Boller's career would become a maddening series of fits and starts. He seemed to be coming around that rookie season but then got injured. He would play a series of games where he'd looked like he'd turned a corner, only to self-destruct with poor decisions and turnovers. How was it not working out for this guy? He seemed to have all the tools: he was a tall, good-looking Southern California boy that dated Tara Reid back when that meant something...

...he had the aforementioned great arm, good mobility and unlike Grbac, Boller was tough. He took some huge hits and never flinched. He took a lot of abuse from fans and never pointed fingers. By all accounts he was coachable, hell, Jim Fassel was brought in by Billick as Boller's personal QB guru.

No, there was something else missing. Boller lacked the one thing that is impossible to teach: accuracy. Sure, he could throw it THROUGH the broad side of a barn, but he couldn't hit it. In an effort to improve his accuracy, Fassel taught Boller what may be the ugliest passing motion ever unleashed on the NFL. Now, you tell me, does this look natural?

When he was benched for Steve McNair in 2006, we learned the other thing Boller didn't have. You see, in my time playing (6 years of high school and college) and watching football there's one thing I've learned about quarterbacks: 70 percent of playing the position is the other 10 guys believing you can get the job done. You can have all the ability in the world but if your teammates don't believe in you, if they won't play for you, talent doesn't mean a thing. Never was that more apparent than during the 2006 regular season. When the team got down, they always believed McNair could bring them back. With Boller it was "Please don't let Kyle screw this up." With largely the same group of guys, a team that went 6-10 with Boller at the helm went 13-3 with McNair. I really believe that McNair's presence, more than his ability, made the difference in at least 3 more wins. The guys played for McNair, not Boller.

To his credit, Boller never complained about being benched and the backup role seemed to suit him. He showed what we all had sort of figured out: he was good for short stretches, but you didn't want him carrying the mail all season. Unfortunately for Ravens fans, carry the mail he would have to do in the disastrous 2007 season, one that would turn out to be the last for the Billick-Boller team.

2007 was a season with very high expectations, but it soon became apparent that McNair had turned into a pumpkin in a big hurry. He couldn't stay healthy, couldn't avoid sacks and couldn't avoid turnovers. That forced Boller into a starting role and the season into the toilet. But Boller would have his defining game as a Baltimore Raven. Week 13. Monday Night Football. Ravens vs the undefeated New England Patriots.

Through 3 quarters, Boller looked as sharp as he ever had. He made some great throws into tight windows, including two touchdown passes. He escaped pressure well and mixed the pass and run to have the mighty Pats defense on its heels. Going into the fourth quarter, the Ravens held the lead and seemed on the verge of an improbable upset. That's when Pats coach Bill Belichick wisened up, stacking the box to cut off the Ravens running game and making Boller beat them. Of course, Boller obliged by throwing a hideous pick into triple coverage, robbing the Ravens of momentum and rendering Baltmo's offense impotent for good.

From that point on, it was only a matter of time until Boller's days as a Raven were over. He was benched at the tail end of 2007 for Troy Smith. His biggest fan, Billick, was canned. And then the team drafted Flacco as its new heir apparent. Boller injured his shoulder in the 2008 preseason and Flacco staked his claim as "The Man," hopefully for the next decade.

Having covered both Boller and Flacco over the past two seasons, the difference between the two QBs is startling. Boller always seemed like a nice guy that really hoped he could play well. As Double Down Trent might say, Boller was like the guy from the PG-13 movie everyone was REEEEALY hoping makes it. With Flacco, you could tell the guy had an aura about him from the first press conference. He told a pack of media members in the preseason, "I want to play, I'm not going to learn anything sitting." The key with Flacco though, is that he never changes expression. Ever. Actually, I did see him change once, when Troy Smith and Le'Ron McClain played a practical joke on him in the locker room by tying his shoes to his shirt hangar. And even then, the guy was as cool as can be, didn't get mad, just rolled with it. And THAT is why guys play for Flacco and why we Ravens fans are lucky to have him. He doesn't flinch and he doesn't get rattled.

Clearly, we Ravens fans have moved on. I think Kyle has moved on as well. But it really is a shame that the man who should have been king is known primarily for dating Tara Reid and this drunk photo...

I certainly wish Kyle all the luck in the world. Lord knows the guy could use some. Arrivederci, auf wiedershein and goodbye old boy.

Caps Under Construction - Part 4

2009-04-04T16:11:00.005-04:00

OK, we're ready for our 4th and final installment of "Caps Under Construction." If you missed anything, scroll down or click here, here and here. You know the drill.

Now for Part 4:

:15 - The Caps are on the clock and GMGM is ready with the pick. Caps owner Ted Leonsis and GMGM inform Alex Ovechkin that he'll be announcing the pick. Ovie, rocking a Gallagher Brothers haircut, tries to get out of it, to no avail.

GMGM: "Gary Bettman wants you to talk."
Ovie: (not said) "Somebody got Bettman off Crosby's knob long enough for him to say that?"

1:36 - The Caps team gets ready to go up to make the pick but not before GMGM goes over Ovie's line "The Washington Capitals are happy to pick Nicklas Backstrom" more times than Stanley Kubrick made Shelley Duvall scream during the making of "The Shining." Say it with me, "The Washington Capitals are happy to pick Nicklas Backstrom." "The Washington Capitals are happy to pick Nicklas Backstrom."

2:09 - A smirking GMGM tells Chicago's table "We're gonna take The Swede." I would officially like to add that line to the "List Of Things I Wish I Could Say More Often," along with "Hands off the merchandise" and "Do you want me to use the Spanish accent?" "We're gonna take The Swede" could be used for so many things, like picking which girl your buddies are going to talk to at a bar or taking a dump.

2:36 - GMGM and Ovie step up to the mic to make the pick. Despite his English not being very good (at least not at that point), and clearly being nervous, Ovie delivers (as he always does).
Ovie: "Washeengton Capeetals are happy to peek, Neecklas Baaackstrom."

3:23 - TSN (the Canadian sports channel covering the draft) analyst Bob McKenzie says, "Alex Ovechkin is going to love playing with this guy." Little did we know.

4:12 - Dirty Al and GMGM do a little post-draft interview:
GMGM: "We think he's an elite playmaking centre." Did they have Backstrom scouted well or what?

5:13 - Dirty Al wraps things up from Stanley Park in Vancouver. Al looks like he's auditioning for "Lifestyles Of The Rich And Famous." And then perfectly, we see the statue of Lord Stanley, inferring the Backstrom pick is one more step to the Caps winning Stanley's trophy.

So what did we learn? Well, if the 2004 draft with Ovie and Mike Green laid the foundation, 2006 was the house on top as the Caps landed the Goose to Ovechkin's Maverick. We learned that NHL GMs are loose-lipped and socially awkward at the same time. And we have seen that even professionals Pull A Mason from time to time. Finally, we learned that when all else fails, just tell people, "We're gonna take The Swede."

Caps Under Construction - Part 3

2009-04-04T15:10:00.004-04:00

OK, winding down the homestretch here. Again, if you need to be brought up to speed, here's Part 1 & 2 of this look back at the Capitals 2006 Draft. Scrolling down would be a lot faster though. Without any further ado, Part 3

:09 - It's Draft Day for GMGM and the staff heads down to Vancouver's GM Place for the day's festivities. I'm sure they will be hearing the cries of the carrots. Yes, the cries of the carrots because tomorrow is harvest day and for them it...is...the..holocaust.

:40 - Inexplicably GMGM has been TOLD by Penguins GM Ray Shero that Shero will be taking Jordan Staal #2. Does this happen in any other sport? Where GM's will tell each other who they will pick? This doesn't even happen in my fantasy football draft. Although that's mainly because most of my fellow GMs need about 5 beers to know who they will take. GMGM has also guessed that Chicago at #3 will take Jonathan Toews, so the Caps will get the man they want, Nicklas Backstrom at #4.

1:10 - The best part of the NHL Draft: Commissioner Gary Bettman taking the stage to a chorus of boos. Bettman, quick on his feet, comes back with "It's always good to be in Vancouver!"

1:45 - GMGM tells his head scout that when the Caps turn comes up, he's going to go over to Boston (who hold the #5 pick) and try to extract an extra pick out of them to move up to the Caps position.

2:07 - Moving ahead, St Louis takes Erik Johnson #1, Staal goes #2.

3:00 - Right in the middle of this, GMGM's son calls him to find out who the Caps are taking. GMGM sounds like he's ready to go "Shut up will ya, I'm trying to pick!" just like I do at my fantasy drafts.
GMGM: "I really like this guy, I think he's better than Staal." I'd say GMGM was right on the mark there.

3:40 - As he said he was going to do, GMGM goes over to Boston's table and makes his trade offer: flop the 4th pick for the 5th pick with Boston throwing in an additional pick for the Caps troubles. My only thought here was that GMGM was thinking either the Bruins would offer something big or to make the Bruins think the Caps would take Kessel. Boston's guy says thanks but no thanks.

4:09 - Toews goes to Chicago, putting the Caps on the clock. Hey, it's Ovie Time! GMGM informs Ovechkin that Swedish centre Nicklas Backstrom is their man. GMGM also tells Ovie that Backstrom is "The guy you ran into at the Worlds," which could mean that Ovie checked him really hard or to remind Alex that Backstrom was the guy who arranged for him to meet those 4 Swedish puck bunnies after the game.

4:31 - Just when that's all been arranged, Boston's guy comes over and wants to take GMGM up on his offer, flipping the 4th and 5th picks and giving the Caps the 37th pick. Boston wants Backstrom now. It's at this point that everybody starts referring to Backstrom as "The Swede," like he's "The Cooler" from "Road House." GMGM decides to Pull A Mason* and reject the deal but not before making Boston twist in the wind a little.

GMGM: "They want The Swede. So what do you want to do?"
Caps Head Scout: (mumbles something that can pretty much be interpreted as "Fuck No!")
GMGM: "I know, I'm just trying to make it look like we're doing something here."

See that's what I love about the NHL Draft over all the others. The team scouts, owners and GMs are all at tables together, so there's the opportunity for subterfuge like this.

GMGM to Scouting Guy: "Did I ever tell you you're looking marvelous. (not said) You know, when I go up to a woman the first thing I want to know is what her head would look like on a stick."
Scouting Guy: "You watched that movie, didn't you?"

5:58 - GMGM tells Boston's guy, "He's getting cold feet. He's going to take The Swede."

6:01 - Dirty Al Koken informs us that the Caps have their man. Gee, who could it be???????

*- "Pulling A Mason" is in reference to my buddy Mason who once in fantasy baseball proposed to make a trade with me: I'd send him outfielder Scott Podsednik in exchange for outfielder Andre Ethier. We had agreed to this trade but I told Mason to give me a couple days to put it together. Just like I said, a couple days later I send him the trade. He rejects it. Dude rejected the trade that he offered me.

Caps Under Construction- Part 2

2009-04-04T14:14:00.004-04:00

Here is Part 2 of my belated running commentary of the Comcast SportsNet special profiling the Capitals 2006 draft. if you missed Part 1, well, it's right below you. Alright,if you're still too lazy, here's the link. I'll wait and let you catch up...

OK, on with Part 2:

:09 - Dirty Al Koken tells us that GMGM would be comfortable taking any of the big four forwards available (Jordan Staal, Jonathan Toews, Nicklas Backstrom and Phil Kessel) with the 4th overall pick. Then with a dramatic pause, Al says the Caps have locked in on Backstrom as their man. Sort of takes the drama out of things doesn't it?

:36 - From the penthouse of the luxurious looking Pan Pacific Hotel in Vancouver, GMGM gets on the phone with Pittsburgh Penguins GM Ray Shero. I love the "Pop-Up Video" style graphics CSN used for this thing.

GMGM and Shero hold some awkward small talk: "You getting something to eat?" "Great." Surely I could make a Hannibal Lecter-Jame Gumb joke in there somewhere. I wonder if they edited out the part where GMGM asks Shero how his woman suit is coming along. Too which Shero would respond, "No George, we drafted the woman last year." Anyway, the purpose of GMGM's call was to find out who Shero is taking with the 2nd overall pick. Somehow the conversation gets steered to defenceman Jack Johnson.

GMGM: "Umm, I'd have to think about that." He sounds like Edmund Kemper deciding whether or not to carve up his grandma.

2:21 - GMGM's next call is to Chicago GM Dale Tallon, who wisely doesn't tip his hand too much, saying he's trying to decide between Kessel and Toews, provided that Pittsburgh takes Staal at #2. I love CSN's framing of GMGM's water bottle in the foreground. It seems to say, "You WILL look at this water bottle!!" The conversation between GMGM and Tallon seems a lot less awkward. And by less awkward I mean more of a bank-robber vibe than a serial killer vibe. We also learn that Erik Johnson has already been signed by St. Louis, who will make him the #1 overall selection.

4:03 - The next call is full of high comedy. It's New York Islanders GM Neil Smith calling to see about moving up. The irony here is that Smith would be the Isles GM for about 5 minutes after this. He was fired and replaced by backup goaltender Garth Snow (you read that correctly). Ah, the Fish Sticks, always an adventure. My favorite part of this call is when GMGM says "We worked all year to get in decent position here." Translation: All the sucking we did this season wasn't for nothing.

4:41 - Dirty Al sets us up for Part 3 - Draft Day. Alas, he doesn't hit us with a breathless teaser this time. Damn you Al! Dammmmmmmmn Youuuuuuu!!!!

Caps Under Construction - Part 1

2009-04-04T13:43:00.004-04:00

On my travels through the YouTubes I came across this little item that aired on Comcast SportsNet in the DC/Baltmo region: A 30-minute behind-the-scenes look at the Washington Capitals 2006 draft. The Caps granted CSN unprecedented access to the team's draft process. I'm glad someone out there managed to post it to the YouTubes, so glad, I decided to keep a little belated running commentary. The show is broken down into 4 parts, so I will post in four parts. Here now, is Part 1:

:20 - Comcast SportsNet host Al Koken welcomes us to beautiful Vancouver, British Columbia for the 2006 NHL Entry Draft. Two notes: 1) I REALLLLLY want to go to Vancouver one of these days and 2) You have to love the Einstein inspired hairdo that Koken is rocking. Koken has been working for CSN (and its forerunner Home Team Sports) for so long that a number of years ago they tried giving him the nickname "Smokin'" Al Koken. It was highly ironic, considering no one besides Mrs. Koken would consider him "smokin'." It's sort of like Harry Shearer's character in "Wayne's World 2" being named "Handsome Dan." I am informed by my buddy Pat, a huge Redskins fan, that on "The Doc Walker Show" Koken is known as "Dirty" Al Koken. I like that name. Dirty Al Koken sounds like some leecherous old man who stays up until 3 a.m. eating Cheetos and watching YouPorn.

:59 - CSN sets the stage of where the Caps are at this point, starting with the 2004 drafting of Alex Ovechkin and taking us through Ovie's rookie season, which included "The Goal" and ended with him capturing Rookie Of The Year honors.

2:16 - Dirty Al interviews Caps General Manager George McPhee (heretofore known as GMGM) before the NHL Awards ceremony. GMGM wields the charisma of Ted Bundy and speaks in the same matter-of-fact tone. He looks like the last thing he'd rather be doing is talking to Dirty Al.

2:59 - Ovie says "I'm so nervous" at least four times in 2 seconds regarding his speech after winning ROY honors. I think he was nervous. And reason #572 why you gotta love Ovie: "I want to play hockey right now. Give me puck, Zubby (then teammate Dainius Zubrus) give me puck."

4:12 - Dirty Al then sets up the draft order. The Caps will be picking fourth behind St. Louis, Pittsburgh and Chicago. The top prospects include defenceman Erik Johnson and forwards Jordan Staal (of the ubiquitous Staal clan), Jonathan Toews (pronounced Tay-ves), Nicklas Backstrom and Phil Kessel.

4:43 - End of the segment where Dirty Al breathlessly tells us "Where anything can happen. And usually does." He's either talking about the NHL Draft or a video he just saw on scatlovers.com.

Today's YouTube Clip To Swing Your Heavy Metal Hair To

2009-04-04T11:00:00.003-04:00

I'll be coming at you with a slew of posts on this very windy Saturday but first, I gotta lube you muthafuckas up (that didn't sound right) by giving you your daily dose of headbanging METAL!

Today's choice was a bit conflicting for me. It's a very cool song but maybe the most heavy-handed "message" video I've ever seen and that includes Soul Asylum's "Runaway Train" video and just about anything from Axl Rose or Michael Jackson. It's "99 Ways To Die" by Megadeth. I'm sure you will enjoy it if you can get past all the "guns suck" preachiness. Here's a way you can enjoy it: put the track on, then scroll through and read some of my old blogs. Your enjoyment of the song will go up five-fold after that.

Sabres 5 Caps 4 (OT)

2009-04-03T21:39:00.004-04:00

OK, first the good news, the Caps can go shopping for another one of these...

The Caps officially clinched themselves a top-3 seed in the playoffs by winning the Southeast Division again. That would be the good news. The bad news is that the Caps were very sloppy tonight and the effort was particularly uninspiring 5 on 5.

Buffalo wasn't much better as 3 of their 5 goals came off of funny bounces and richochets, only Derek Roy's goal being intentional. The Caps were bailed out by their power play, which went 3 for 7 tonight. The second period saw a parade of guys going to the penalty box. If one guy summed up the whole Caps night, it was Sergei Fedorov. He had two goals but also was -2 and had a terrible giveaway that set up Jason Pominville's overtime winner for the Sabres. The win kept Buffalo alive for the playoffs, barely, to the delight of the legions of fans that invade the Phone Booth. I have no explanation for why so many Buffalo Sabres fans invade Verizon Center everytime. Maybe its cause Buffalo, much like Pittsburgh and Easton, Md., is the the type of place you flee as soon as humanly possible.

While the game was sloppy, it was entertaining, with lots of chances back and forth. I suppose an effort like this was to be expected, since the Caps have spent almost a month on cruise control, playing crappy teams in glorified scrimmages. I think all Caps fans would prefer the team come out and stomp teams to feel like we're rolling into the playoffs. Certainly, there is motivation to hold off New Jersey and get that second seed against Montreal or New York rather than be in a 1st round war with Philadelphia, Pittsburgh or Carolina. Whatever the case, the Caps did take care of the business at hand and locked up the Southeast. You'd rather do it with a win, especially a convincing one, but consider goal #1 reached.

Next game is Sunday afternoon against surging Atlanta (winners of 10 of 13). Caps better bring their A-game for that one, since the Thrash seem content to play themselves right out of the lottery. But until then, let's say goodnight to da bad guys.

Here's the highlights of tonight's game. Do yourself a favor and turn the volume down to avoid hearing the ultra-annoying nasal voice of Buffalo announcer Rick Jenneret. Seriously, do it. Do it. Do it.

Too Much Time On Their Hands Files

2009-04-03T20:27:00.004-04:00

Actually my title is quite misleading because these clips are an example of how too much time on one's hands can be a cool thing. There is someone out there in internets-land who did a bunch of Metallica songs on solo piano. I must say, color me impressed. I'm sure if you take the time you too will be impressed with this gal's (!) work.

"Battery"

"Master Of Puppets"

"The Call Of Ktulu" (probably my favorite of all the ones she did)

"Orion"

"The Day That Never Comes"

"Enter Sandman"

"Harvester Of Sorrow"

Ovie vs. LeBron

2009-04-03T12:47:00.004-04:00

Excellent get from Dan Steinberg over at D.C. Sports Bog: It's the historic (OK, maybe not historic) summit meeting between LeBron James and Alex Ovechkin after last night's Wizznuts-Cavaliers game. Pretty amazing scoop, the best hockey player on Earth and the best basketball player on Earth having an awkward conversation in the bowels of Verizon Center.

Best parts of this story- 1) LeBron rocking a Kanye West-inspired ensemble 2) Nicklas Backstrom playing the role of "third guy in the porn scene." and 3) LeBron's line: "Yeah. He's a bad boy. God....I don't know how you guys do that [stuff], sliding on ice and still hit the [dang] puck? Whooo." Somehow I envision LeBron doing this with a look that says "Where's the bus again?" and Ovie doing this with a "What the fuck is up with those glasses? He no understand fashion." look on his face.

As if that were not enough, there's video!

Today's YouTube Clip To Swing Your Heavy Metal Hair To

2009-04-03T12:27:00.003-04:00

Hello there. Sorry no posts yesterday (like you care) but I should have a slate of new things up this weekend. So many that you will be sick of me.

Anyway, time to unleash some classic power metal on that ass with a band that is more known for their difficulty in "Guitar Hero" than anything else. But they do bring back that classic Maiden-like sound and this song in particular is pretty cool. It's England's own Dragonforce with "Through The Fire And The Flames." Since it is more famous for its "Guitar Hero" insanity, I will give you two versions of this: the actual Dragonforce video, followed by someone doing the song on "expert" in "Guitar Hero." Enjoy suckas.

The Too Much Time On Their Hands Files

2009-04-01T23:51:00.005-04:00

For this late night blog I'm going to make two separate points and then tie them together. Bear with me now 'cause I'm kinda fast.

One of my favorite recent comedy's is "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story."

It's usually on Starz/Encore every 5 hours and I always get sucked into it. Admittedly, it's not a flawless movie; it completely falls apart in the last 25 minutes but for the first hour and 15 minutes it is as funny as any recent comedy. John C. Reilly is hysterical in the title role, the movie absolutely shreds biopic cliches, the one-liners come fast and furious and the songs are very clever.

Now on a completely unrelated tangent. It's a well-known fact that there are too many people in this world with entirely too much time on their hands. Thanks to new media platforms like Twitter, YouTube and Wikipedia, there are outlets for these kinds of folks. The people who do some of these things should be working for the government.

Ok, with that said, it's time to tie this all together. My favorite song in "Walk Hard" is "Let's Duet," which parodies Johnny and June Carter Cash (as the whole movie does). The song is rife with double entendres like the title itself and these gems...
"In my dreams you're blowing me.......some kisses."
"I just want to make out.......what you're saying."
"You and I could go down.......in history."
"Let's duet......in ways that make us feel good."
"I'm just gonna beat off.....all my demons."
"Here I am a sneakin'behind you......You can always come in my back door."

With that backdrop, somebody out there in the world synched "Let's Duet" to Guitar Hero III. Whoever in the world thought this up and executed is some kind of genius and has entirely too much time on their hands. Enjoy.

Caps 5 Islanders 3

2009-04-01T19:57:00.009-04:00

Before I roll through this recap, allow me to make a few notes that I did not get in because of the hockey tournament layoff. First, the Caps did clinch a playoff berth before Friday's game with Tampa Bay, so the boys in red are in the dance. Second, the Caps beat the Lightning 5-3 to punctuate that playoff berth. Alex Ovechkin scored two (reaching the 100-point mark) and Masterson Award nominee Brian Pothier got his first goal back after missing nearly two years with post-concussion syndrome. Ok, with that out of the way on to tonight's game with the New York Islanders.

Again, before I get started, here are the highlights from NHL.com, you know, in case you don't like words.

It was a very listless first 21 minutes by the Caps. They were down 2-0 and were being outworked and outhustled by the Islanders, only the worst team in the NHL. But then we had an argument for why fighting should be kept in the sport. John Erskine, having to play the tough guy role with Donald Brashear out of the lineup, picked a scrap with Isles toughie Joel Rechlicz, not winning necessarily but landing some solid punches. Then Mike Green elbowed Andy Hilbert in the head (a senseless play. For the Caps sake, hopefully Greener isn't suspended). The Islanders Tim Jackman, understandably, went looking for retribution and found an unlikely dance partner in Jeff Schultz. The Sarge has taken a lot of criticism in Capsland for being soft but he deserves a lot of credit for answering the bell in defense of a teammate.

The fights woke the team up and they quickly got goals from Ovie (#54) and Keith Aucoin (#1) to tie the game. From there, the Caps turned it into their kind of game and peppered Isles goalie Joey MacDonald. The team then came out of the gate slowly and a bad turnover by Michael Nylander (which looked like it got him benched) led to a goal by Richard Park and a 3-2 Isles lead.

But then it turned into the Mike Green Show. Mr. Bed Head popped #29 on the season (a power play goal) on a beautiful passing play by Alex Semin. Number 30 wasn't a blistering howitzer of a shot, merely a flick of the wrist, but MacDonald couldn't see it through a Tomas Fleischmann screen. Cue bedlam at the Phone Booth as the Lamborghini Man joined an exclusive club: the 8th defenceman to score 30 goals in a season. It's a group that includes legendary names like Orr, Coffey, Potvin and...Kevin Hatcher? (Wha!?!) Nicklas Backstrom added an empty netter to seal the deal.

Notes:

- The trio of Josh Bailey, Park and Kyle Okposo was a thorn in the Caps side all night, especially Park who learned how to torture the Caps at the most popular school for such things: Pittsburgh.

- Speaking of Shitsburgh, they helped the Caps out tonight by crushing struggling New Jersey 6-1, giving the Capital City Red Boys a 3-point cusion for 2nd place with 5 games to play.

- A little too much going on with those new Islanders jerseys. I like the old solid navy blue ones they used to have. Here, judge for yourself but I think you will agree that less is more.
...Old...

...New...

- With the win, the Caps also crossed the 100-point plateau and with a Carolina loss to New York tomorrow, can clinch their 2nd straight Southeast Division title. If the Caps win this division enough, can they PLEASE take down those embarrasing "Washington Mystics Attendance Champions" banners?

- Besides getting #30 tonight, Green threw a baa-yu-ty hit on Jackman behind the net.

- I like that Russian line with Viktor Kozlov, Ovechkin and Sergei Fedorov. The Isles defence couldn't get the puck off them.

-Speaking of the former Mr. Anna Kournikova - that would be Fedorov - he made a dandy of a pass on Ovie's goal.

- I like what Aucoin brings to this club and I thought he worked very well with Eric Fehr and Fleischmann when they were together.

- Michael Nylander had played well of late but he reverted back to sucking tonight. I don't think he took a shift after that bad turnover on Park's goal. I have a hunch Bruce Boudreau will have his ass stapled to the bench for Friday night's game against Buffalo.

So there you have it, a second straight 5-3 win over a bottom-feeding club. These games have had the feel of glorified exhibition games but that should change Friday night against a desperate Sabres team fighting for their playoff lives. As usual, there will be plenty of Buffalo fans in the stands so the atmosphere for that one should be more like a playoff game. Until then, it's one more...for the good guys.

Today's YouTube Clip To Swing Your Heavy Metal Hair to

2009-04-01T19:08:00.006-04:00

I'll have some new stuff up tonight including a Caps recap and hopefully one more new post. Haven't decided if it will be music or sports related though. Until then, lets continue Slayer Week here at Hangar 39. Before we get to the clip, allow me to alert you to the extreme comedy that is "Slayer Tags" on the band's MySpace page. These are everyday items that have been tagged with the Slayer logo. This one, of course, is my favorite...

...but there's even more goodness where that came from. Some examples...

One last bit of Slayer goodness. This live version of "Mandatory Suicide" from 2004's "Still Reigning" DVD.

Today's YouTube Clip To Swing Your Heavy Metal Hair To

2009-03-31T08:02:00.002-04:00

Good morrow chaps. We've never had some doom metal on this thread before, so let's do that today. Here's a song by one of the first bands I ever reviewed for Live-Metal.net. It's "Lies That Bind" by Daylight Dies, who's album "Dismantling Devotion," was one of the most hauntingly beautiful records I have ever heard. Hope you dig 'em as well.

Metal Classics

2009-03-31T00:09:00.004-04:00

Slayer - "Reign In Blood"

I'm not sure there has ever been a more intense 30 minutes in the history of recorded sound than Slayer's 1986 album "Reign In Blood." Like a bar room bully, it grabs you by the throat and doesn't let go for its duration. People think Metallica is fast? No, with all due respect to Lars, James and the guys, THIS is fast. I have no clue how Slayer plays as fast as they do on "Reign In Blood." But what makes this record work is that it is truly an album. The songs all fit together, usually running right into the next one. The album is relentless, but in a good way. By the end of the audio assault Slayer has just unleashed on "Reign In Blood," you either loved it or hated it. Thought it was either a brilliant piece of metal music or was completely satanic and evil. Either way, your jaw was on the floor at the sheer velocity and intensity Slayer brings on this record.

Looking back, 1986 was quite a year for metal. Metallica released "Master Of Puppets," which has gone on to greater and greater fame as the years go on as the definitive metal record. It was also the year "Reign In Blood" came out but it doesn't get the same level of accolades for some reason. It should. "Reign In Blood" marked the point when the two thrash metal titans formally went off on their own courses. Metallica to being the biggest metal band the world has ever known and Slayer to being the mischevious younger brother who liked to set things on fire. Slayer developed a cult following so dedicated they came up with their own version (facetiously, of course)of the "Clapton Is God" sign...

All my babbling would be moot if the songs on "Reign In Blood" did not hold up so well. The band is amazingly tight, as Dave Lombardo punishes his drum kit while guitarists Kerry King and Jeff Hannemann shred with reckless abandon. Bassist/vocalist Tom Araya brings the madness to a fever pitch with his rapid fire vocals and piercing scream. It's that scream which officially announces Slayer's arrival on the opening "Angel Of Death." King and Hannemann start off with simple guitar riff that builds up to Araya's yell, which starts off as a high-pitched wail and gradually gets lower until it literally sounds like someone descending into hell. The band kicks in behind him as Araya's lyrics describe the gruesome crimes of Nazi doctor Josef Mengele. Araya has always said he wasn't glorifying Mengele's crimes in this song and by listening to the way he recites the lyrics, I agree with him.

The next two songs, "Piece By Piece" and "Necrophobic" fit together and each plays like a horror film. 20 years later the work of Eli Roth would turn Araya's narratives into film reality with his "Hostel" movies. Each song is barely two minutes long and the band crams as many time changes and guitar solos as is humanly possible to fit into that amount of time.

After that, we get another double-sided suite with "Altar of Sacrifice" and "Jesus Saves." It's impossible to think of these two songs apart. "Altar" keeps up the furious momentum the band has built up to this point. Araya's vocals sometimes seem to struggle to keep up with the music but that effect works to the band's advantage: the snarling chaos of the vocals matches the band. "Altar" then slows things down for the badass guitar riff that opens up the ironic "Jesus Saves." This is the point in the album where a first-time listener probably says "fuck yeah!" That slowed down tempo lasts, oh, 20 seconds, before the band launches into an attack even faster than what they just did in the previous four songs.

"Criminally Insane" comes next and also has a slowed tempo to start, this time with a snare and hi-hat countoff by Lombardo before the band is at it again. "Reborn" keeps things going, while "Epidemic" shows off a style more reminicent of later Slayer releases "South Of Heaven" and "Seasons In The Abyss." "Postmortem" goes on a bit long (odd on a 10-song 30-minute album) and might be the weakest track here but it helps lead into the crowning moment of the record, the closer "Raining Blood."

"Raining Blood" has one of, if not the best intros in heavy metal. It starts off with a clap of thunder and the rain falling. Then Lombardo hits the tom-toms.
"Duhduhduh...duhduhduh...duhduhduh"
It's an eerie sound. Then the guitars come in and the band explodes into the song. Once Araya finishes the verses with the lines "Awaiting you reprisal/your time slips away," the band goes into a military stomp before one final thrash metal freakout, which reaches its crecendo with the thunder and rain again. Its a perfect way to end the album, like you're leaving Dante's Inferno behind.

"Reign In Blood" is one of those albums that doesn't seem to age or get stale. It's just as ass-kicking on the 100th listen as on the 1st. The album took thrash metal away from the more progressive vein it had been going at the time and gave it more of a punk rock feel. Like many things in life, "Reign In Blood's" innovation was a happy accident. Supposedly, producer Rick Rubin shaved the band's songs down to such an extent that the entire album could fit on one side of a cassette tape. However, the band loved the result, which was a much more intense experience than if the songs had dragged on with lots of solos and tempo changes. The band and Rubin were correct. If you don't believe me, listen to the "Hell Awaits" E.P. which is much more of a progressive album but doesn't have the electric chair energy of "Reign In Blood." This was the album where Slayer turned into SLAAAAAYERRRRRR!!!!

The band loved the album so much, they played it in its entirety for its 20th anniversary, complete with a raining blood effect on "Raining Blood." Here's a clip.