Links ahoy...

What ARRRRGGGGH ya doin' out there internets?

Time for another lazy links post. This may be it for today as far as posts since the day job is going to take up much of my time. Thus, no game recap from Caps-Thrashers tonight unless I manage to get out early. I can hear the weeping from Delaware to Slovakia now. I'm going to do this in a little different format, so if you like it, let me know. And if you don't like it well, IDONTGIVEAFUCK!

"Sasha, what the fuck are you doing?"

Good Guys Links:

-Orioles take two more exhibition games from the Boston Red Sawx. That's a sweep in Grapefruit League competition. If only they could do this when the games count. And if only slapdicks like this didn't show up at Orioles Park in spades...


- Brian Roberts had a big game for Team USA in its bounce-back win over the Netherlands in the World Baseball Classic.

-Radhames Liz - future bullpen arsonist. If he doesn't have Jorge Julio written all over him I don't know who does. And yes, I am still bitter at Julio for murdering my fantasy baseball team a few years back.

- The Ravens and O's are teaming up for a doubleheader promotion on April 25. The Ravens are hosting a "FanFest" type of event and those that buy tickets will also get admission to the O's-Texas Rangers night game.

- Jake Arrieta, Chris Tillman and Brian Matusz are all headed to the minors as predicted right here on Hangar 39!

- Brian Pothier may make his first appearance in two years during tonight's Caps-Thrash game. Glad to see Brian was able to make it back after suffering from post-concussion syndrome. Caps owner "Billionaire" Ted Leonsis sums it up pretty well.

- From Japer's - God wants Alex Ovechkin to get #50 tonight. I agree with God on this one.

- JP and Peerless have previews of tonight's game, which will be on Versus at 7 pm.

-Also, Peerless rightfully calls out Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum, aka NBC's Pierre McGuire and "Mad" Mike Milbury for the dated criticism about Jose Theodore. The "Caps can't win the Cup with Theodore" stuff is about as dated as a 90s Mike Myers movie.

Non-Good Guys Sporting Links:

- Auf wiedershein Matt Jones. My only regret is that he didn't pull a Robbie Fowler and snort the endzone line.

- Via Puck Daddy - The Calgary Flames are drawing musical inspiration from...Lady Gaga? Who the fuck is Lady Gaga?

Non-sporting links:

-R.I.P Ron Silver. Loved you as Senator Darren McCord in the Jean-Claude Van Damme blockbuster "Timecop."

Silver also delivered the immortal line from the short-lived Fox TV show "Skin" -"HIS FATHER IS THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY!!!"

- From the Icon - The lack of creative imagination in Hollywood continues. Now we are apparently getting a "Macguyver" movie. Other than Patty and Selma from "The Simpsons" is there anyone out there excited about this?

- Dick Cheney - still delusional.

Finally, today's YouTube clip to swing your heavy metal hair to is "One Shot, One Kill" by Maryland's own Dying Fetus.

The Missing Link...

Unlike Arnold Schwarzenegger in "The Running Man" I do requests. This little item came out after I had done the links post this morning but it is SOOO worthy that I must add a bonus link just to address it. Kudos to fellow blogger in crime Greg "Snake" Maki for the heads up (and for leaving a comment).

Your #4 story in the Baltimore Sun's sports section is....
Bedard scratched from start due to sore butt

Now as my compadre Mr. Maki asserted, the jokes pretty much write themselves but allow me, a rank amateur, to give it a shot...


"Gee, we always knew Erik was an asshole but this is ridiculous."


"Well what are you looking at Butthead?"


"Bedard accepts his promotion to Major Asshole"


"Huh-huh, huh-huh, you said butt."


"You hurt your what? How would you like an 8-year $90 million contract? Daaarrrr!"


"Hey Erik, you should get that thing insured like I did."


"Seattle Mariners pitcher Erik Bedard shows reporters where his butt is sore."

Not a good Sunday for the Good Guys...

- THE Towson University was unable to take to George Mason in the semifinals of the CAA Tournament ended yesterday with a 56-48 loss. It was a nice run for the Tiggers, ending a bad season on a high note. However, calling the Tigers run "storied" may be stretching things a tad.

"Was a nice run Kev, had to close out someday."

- The Caps also lost yesterday, their fourth straight defeat, this time to the hated Penguins in a shootout 4-3. The Caps got themselves down early, 3-1 after 2 periods, but fought back to tie it with two quick 3rd period goals by Alex Ovechkin and Brooks Laich. It was a fun game to attend and it can be confirmed that my friend and former work protege Jermaine "Bunky" Murray thoroughly enjoyed himself.

Unlike prior Caps defeats, this one was one I could live with. In the 3rd period the Caps got back to the swarming, puck-possession style of hockey we've grown accustomed to. The Caps had several chances to end this thing but Marc-Andre Fleury, who looked like swiss cheese the last time these teams met, came up with some nice stops to give his club a chance to win. The game went into a shootout where Sidney Crosby scored the only goal to give the Pens their first victory over the Caps in four tries this year. Now for some random mental notes from being in the stands:

-Sidney Crosby is still a pansy. I hope little Sid and his "sugar daddy" Don Cherry are happy that Little Sid was able to get a win and a first star.

-Crosby did have a nice game (a goal, assist and shootout winner) but let me tell you, I was 10 times more terrified of Evgeni Malkin than I was of Crosby. When Little Sid gets the puck your first inclination, as an opposing fan, is "don't let this little punk score." When Malkin gets the puck your first thought is "Oh shit, Malkin has the puck and he might score." On TV you maybe don't appreciate it much, but next to Ovechkin I can't think of a guy I've seen who inspired more feelings of dread and excitement than Malkin.

-The anti-Crosby signs were brilliant. Well played Washington. As soon as me and Bunk entered the area, the first sign they had on the video board was a Crosby "No Diving" sign. My personal favorite Crosby-bashing moment was a sign and a doll these two girls brought in. One had a sign that said, "You Can't Spell Crosby Without 'Cry'" while the other had a baby doll with a "Crosby 87" Penguins jersey.
(photos from Puck Daddy)



-Bill Guerin's goal was pretty sweet I must say. Shaone Morrisonn, you got pwned on that one.

- The celebrations by some, not all, of the Penguins fans in attendance was absolutely ridiculous. Can you believe that after the Caps beat them three times this year, including a humiliating 5-2 defeat two weeks ago, these people were celebrating like they just won the Stanley Cup! All sorts of "woo-hoos" and high fives. And the Caps catch all the criticism for celebrations? Congratulations guys, you won one game out of four and needed a contrived breakaway competition to do that. The win moved them to 8th (8th!) place in the Eastern Conference. Settle the fuck down Sparky, you're humiliating yourself out there. I do not blame some of the Caps fans one iota for challenging some of these goofs to fisticuffs afterwards. One example, I'm outside the arena and a couple of Pens fans are whooping it up when four Caps fans walk by and casually inform them that, you know, you won one game against us all year, cool out. So of course, Pens fan gets all beligerent and the two dudes nearly come to blows before a sensible Pens fan comes in and breaks it up. As the Caps fans walked by I told them "Don't take any guff from these swine," in my best Hunter S. Thompson voice. Then again, assholishness and Pittsburgh sports fans go together like peanut butter and jelly so who am I kidding.


-Speaking of assholes, the three guys we saw getting off the Metro in Flyers jerseys? Wrong game, dipshits!

So that's it for now. I'll be back later with some photos from yesterday's game and maybe another post depending on time constraints. I am sure you are willing to move hell, fire and brimstone to be here...

Things That Need To Be Stopped- Part II

Guys in Golf Shirts:


Every time I go to a club or a bar, no matter where it is, I see anywhere from 50 to 650 guys wearing this exact same look. Seriously, fellas, this needs to stop. You are not Tiger Woods at Augusta. When you are out at a bar or club, you are not on the 18th fairway. There is no need for you to wear a golf shirt. Buy yourself a nice button-up and have at it but for the love of all that is holy, ditch the golf shirt. You look like a tool. Especially if said shirt is pink. That goes double when the golf shirt you are wearing is two sizes too small. And even more so if you decide to pop the collar. I mean, look at these dudes...



...when you look like this, people do not think you are cool. People think you are an asshole. Women quietly laugh at you while other guys just want to see you get hit by a car. I know retro is a chic thing sometimes and I love things from the 80s as much as anybody but this isn't one of those things. A popped collar on a golf shirt is something that should have died with the decade. I mean, look at guy #2. See my point? And even if you aren't popping the collar, the golf shirt look still looks dumb. It's called a golf shirt for a reason, it's meant to be worn on the golf course. Still don't believe me? This look doesn't even work for a professional athlete...


If Alex Semin can't pull this shit off, you, the average moron, certainly cannot. Put the polo shirt back in the closet until it's time to tee off.