Showing posts with label brian billick. Show all posts
Showing posts with label brian billick. Show all posts

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Arrivederci, Kyle Boller

The handwriting had been on the wall since last preseason but yesterday it was made official: Kyle Boller is no longer a member of the Baltimore Ravens.

As the draft approaches and Ravens fans can let out a big "FINALLY!" at the arrival of Joe Flacco as (hopefully) the long-term solution to Baltmo's quarterbacking woes, I figured I'd take a look back at the man that should have been king, Boller.



Maybe we should have known Boller would be a bust right from the get-go. He was the quarterback on some of the most gawd-awful Cal teams of recent history, posting only one winning season during his tenure with the Golden Bears. Most Ravens fans, like myself, hadn't even heard of him up until the 2003 draft. It was in that leadup that then-Coach Brian Billick fell in love with Boller like George McFly at the "Enchantment Under The Sea" dance. It was well-known that Ravens GM Ozzie Newsome wanted Marshall QB Byron Leftwich and the Ravens attempted to trade up ahead of Jacksonville (who were also eyeing him) to get Ozzie's guy. But a screw-up with the trade card (don't ask) enabled Jacksonville to jump up to the podium and pick Leftwich (turns out, things probably worked out for the better. Without Leftwich, who has bounced around the league, the Ravens picked Terrell Suggs & his partner 'Lil Sizzle.) Still in need of a future franchise QB, the Ravens went to Plan B: Boller.

As stated earlier, despite his lack of collegiate accomplishments, Billick fell in love with Boller in pre-draft workouts for one reason: he had a big arm. Every Ravens fan worth their salt can still remember that ESPN video of Boller firing the ball 60 yards on one knee through the uprights (sadly, there is no video on YouTube.)This wasn't the first time Billick went ga-ga over a guy who looked great throwing the ball in shorts.

In 2001, coming off a Super Bowl championship, Billick dumped Trent Dilfer for Elvis Grbac. Dilfer was erratic and often ugly throwing the ball, but he was a winner and the team respected him. Grbac, on the other hand, was your classic "look like Tarzan, play like Jane" guy. Grbac had a cannon arm, was tall and could wow you in workouts (I saw this firsthand at 2001 training camp). But when the heat was on and he got hit a few times, Grbac was softer than toilet paper. By the end of the 2001 season, the team was begging Billick to play a decrepit Randall Cunningham over Grbac. Cunningham may not have had Grbac's tools but at least he wasn't going to cry on the sidelines like Grbac once did in a game against Cleveland.

That history did not stop Billick from thinking he could harness the lightning in Boller's right arm. In Billick's mind, Boller was the Chosen One and, in a ego-driven move, sent his new padawan learner to the wolves, tabbing the rookie to start opening day in Pittsburgh. Predictably, the kid wasn't ready and the Steelers ate him for lunch. That one move set the stage for Boller's career and tied Billick's future to the kid's (here's a hint: neither is with the Ravens anymore.)

Over the next few years, Boller's career would become a maddening series of fits and starts. He seemed to be coming around that rookie season but then got injured. He would play a series of games where he'd looked like he'd turned a corner, only to self-destruct with poor decisions and turnovers. How was it not working out for this guy? He seemed to have all the tools: he was a tall, good-looking Southern California boy that dated Tara Reid back when that meant something...

...he had the aforementioned great arm, good mobility and unlike Grbac, Boller was tough. He took some huge hits and never flinched. He took a lot of abuse from fans and never pointed fingers. By all accounts he was coachable, hell, Jim Fassel was brought in by Billick as Boller's personal QB guru.

No, there was something else missing. Boller lacked the one thing that is impossible to teach: accuracy. Sure, he could throw it THROUGH the broad side of a barn, but he couldn't hit it. In an effort to improve his accuracy, Fassel taught Boller what may be the ugliest passing motion ever unleashed on the NFL. Now, you tell me, does this look natural?



When he was benched for Steve McNair in 2006, we learned the other thing Boller didn't have. You see, in my time playing (6 years of high school and college) and watching football there's one thing I've learned about quarterbacks: 70 percent of playing the position is the other 10 guys believing you can get the job done. You can have all the ability in the world but if your teammates don't believe in you, if they won't play for you, talent doesn't mean a thing. Never was that more apparent than during the 2006 regular season. When the team got down, they always believed McNair could bring them back. With Boller it was "Please don't let Kyle screw this up." With largely the same group of guys, a team that went 6-10 with Boller at the helm went 13-3 with McNair. I really believe that McNair's presence, more than his ability, made the difference in at least 3 more wins. The guys played for McNair, not Boller.

To his credit, Boller never complained about being benched and the backup role seemed to suit him. He showed what we all had sort of figured out: he was good for short stretches, but you didn't want him carrying the mail all season. Unfortunately for Ravens fans, carry the mail he would have to do in the disastrous 2007 season, one that would turn out to be the last for the Billick-Boller team.

2007 was a season with very high expectations, but it soon became apparent that McNair had turned into a pumpkin in a big hurry. He couldn't stay healthy, couldn't avoid sacks and couldn't avoid turnovers. That forced Boller into a starting role and the season into the toilet. But Boller would have his defining game as a Baltimore Raven. Week 13. Monday Night Football. Ravens vs the undefeated New England Patriots.

Through 3 quarters, Boller looked as sharp as he ever had. He made some great throws into tight windows, including two touchdown passes. He escaped pressure well and mixed the pass and run to have the mighty Pats defense on its heels. Going into the fourth quarter, the Ravens held the lead and seemed on the verge of an improbable upset. That's when Pats coach Bill Belichick wisened up, stacking the box to cut off the Ravens running game and making Boller beat them. Of course, Boller obliged by throwing a hideous pick into triple coverage, robbing the Ravens of momentum and rendering Baltmo's offense impotent for good.

From that point on, it was only a matter of time until Boller's days as a Raven were over. He was benched at the tail end of 2007 for Troy Smith. His biggest fan, Billick, was canned. And then the team drafted Flacco as its new heir apparent. Boller injured his shoulder in the 2008 preseason and Flacco staked his claim as "The Man," hopefully for the next decade.

Having covered both Boller and Flacco over the past two seasons, the difference between the two QBs is startling. Boller always seemed like a nice guy that really hoped he could play well. As Double Down Trent might say, Boller was like the guy from the PG-13 movie everyone was REEEEALY hoping makes it. With Flacco, you could tell the guy had an aura about him from the first press conference. He told a pack of media members in the preseason, "I want to play, I'm not going to learn anything sitting." The key with Flacco though, is that he never changes expression. Ever. Actually, I did see him change once, when Troy Smith and Le'Ron McClain played a practical joke on him in the locker room by tying his shoes to his shirt hangar. And even then, the guy was as cool as can be, didn't get mad, just rolled with it. And THAT is why guys play for Flacco and why we Ravens fans are lucky to have him. He doesn't flinch and he doesn't get rattled.

Clearly, we Ravens fans have moved on. I think Kyle has moved on as well. But it really is a shame that the man who should have been king is known primarily for dating Tara Reid and this drunk photo...

I certainly wish Kyle all the luck in the world. Lord knows the guy could use some. Arrivederci, auf wiedershein and goodbye old boy.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Snuggie vs. Flirty Girl Fitness

Hello out there in cyberspace! On this fine Sunday, I here at Hangar 39 am going to bring you the battle of the decade. This titanic matchup will feature two of the most ubiquitous commercials around. If Don King were promoting this, he’d call it Capitalism Combat. But before we get to the main event, let’s get some appropriate music to get excited about this war of attrition…



Ok, with that said, here are our two combatants. In this corner we have…Flirty Girl Fitness!
(ed.note-I know the vid quality sucks but it’s the only copy of the commercial on Youtube)



And in this corner we have…the Snuggie!



Now, for such a confrontation, we here at Hangar 39 had to assemble an all-star crew to break things down. So in the commentary box we have Pat Summerall, the coach John Madden, Shannon Sharpe and the other coach, Brian Billick. Guys, take it away.

Pat: Thanks Ryan. First of all, John, good to be working with you again. You know partner, a lot of people consider this the ultimate clash in styles. Flirty Girl Fitness is flashy, high-energy and comes with an optional stripper pole. The Snuggie is low-tech, simple, highly effective and makes its user look like Obi-Wan Kenobi. How do you see this matchup shaking out.

John: Well, you’re right Pat, the Snuggie is a very simple product but it comes with its own reading lamp, you can stay warm when you have to get up to answer the phone, the Franciscan friar look is very hot right now and you can wear it to a Little League Game, those kinds of things. But certainly the problem the Snuggie is going to run into, is this offense for Flirty Girl Fitness. As great as the Friar Laurence look is, it’s very tough to defend against women in tight pants, dancing erotically. It’s even harder to defend against a workout that includes lap dancing and pole stunts. For the Snuggie to win, they’re going to have to score more points than Flirty Girl Fitness.

Pat: Coach Billick, Flirty Girl Fitness would seem to have all the momentum in this matchup. It features, as John said, pole dancing, lap dancing, and girls with tight midriffs in even tighter pants. How does Flirty Girl Fitness keep up this momentum against what seems to be the people’s choice, the Snuggie.

Billick: Well Pat, when you have a Flirty Girl Fitness, you have to establish what the parameters are of what you’re trying to do. When you’re going up against a Snuggie, you can’t lie back and let them dictate the pace of the game. You have to establish your tempo and come out and do what it is you do. If you’re able to get ahead of Snuggie, it bodes very well for your chances.

Pat: And the third member of our booth, Shannon Sharpe.

Shannon: The bottom line eess, the Snuggie alwaysss does better when itss cornered. The Snuggie can win thiss game because it takes care of buisinesss, doesssn’t turn it over and can score jusst enough pointsss to win thisss game.

Billick: And Shannon Flirty Girl Fitness is know for its trash talk, something you know plenty about.

Shannon: Fwirty Gwirl Fitnesss knowsss nothing about trassh tawlk! I’m the CEO of trassh tawlk!

John: You know who loves the Snuggie? Brett Favre.

Pat: And why is that John?

John: Well, I think it’s because he’s having so much fun out there. Brett Favre is a joy to watch. He’s the sort of guy I’d take on my team anyday.


Shannon: You know, one thang that bothersss me about Brett Favre. He’s a fumbla. And fumblas do not last long in thiss leegue.

Billick: Well, when it comes to Brett Favre, it is what it is. You take his turnovers because he can make so many plays out there. He’s not like an Elvis Grbac, who I had in Baltimore, you remember him Shannon?

Shannon: Brian, you brought him in to lead ussss to the promise land and he did not get it done.


Pat: It looks like the two sides have taken the field. John, I’ll let you have the last word.

John: Well I like Flirty Girl Fitness. It’s got all the momentum going for it. It’s got girls in tight pants doing pole dances, those kinds of things. And Pat, you know who really likes Flirty Girl Fitness? Hines Ward.