Gimme This, Gimme That

...And no, this post is not just an excuse to put up this Alice Cooper video...

This is shit that I would want if I had just a smidge more dough. Or if Easton law enforcement hadn't help take a shitload of it (don't ask). And like Veruca Salt, I want it NOW!!!

Skull Bowling Ball

I have no practical reason to want this. I don't really bowl regularly but I'll tell you, if I had this ball, I probably would. Hell, I'd turn into the next Walter Sobchek just to walk into a room and pull this intimidating monstrosity out of a bag. Combine this with a cool ass bowling shirt...

...and I'll be a motherfuckin' bowler in no time.

Ibanez rs321mh and Ibanez Artcore afs75t
I recently took up guitar playing as a new hobby. Not with any intention of being one of those guitar assholes like this slapdick...

...no, no. My only real reason for wanting to take up the hobby was to learn some bad ass metal jams. Alas, the guitar I'm working with now is a knock-off piece of shit that's a bitch to keep in tune and probably needs more work than its worth.

So, I'd love to get the above Ibanez model. Ibanez makes some great metal guitars, since they use thinner necks that enable faster playing, plus Ibanez models have great sustain. To make it even more appealing, Ibanez lists the price at $400, so it's very affordable. Here's a demonstation I found on YouTube. Check out how long this guys sustains on note on this thing...

The other one I wouldn't mind possessing, they actually have at my local music store. It's another Ibanez but this one is from their Artcore series. Ibanez put out a bunch of these hollow-body guitars under the Artcore name. Hollow body's are mainly used by jazz, blues and rockabilly guitar players (Billy Duffy of the Cult is the only real rock guy I've seen use one but he used a Gretch Falcon). Hollow body's aren't great rock/metal guitars, since they give off a lot of feedback when you run gain (distortion) from your amp. Still, this axe reeks of badassery...

The best part is, these guitars are really affordable, running around $400-$500. The one I saw at the local music store was about $450 and was in blue, I think.

Bulldog

Longtime readers (all 5 of you) know all about this one, so I won't elaborate much further on this one. Let's just say that at some point, I will be the embarrassing guy in the park with a dog that's wearing a mini-Joe Flacco jersey


The Baltimore Orioles

Because Peter Angelos can't run them in the ground any worse.