Thursday, June 11, 2009

One More For Thursday...

I'm on a roll today, so how 'bout one more before I leave the office (yes, I am writing these silly blogs on company time).

So the big news before tomorrow night's Game 7 between the Penguins and Red Wings is the news that Wings defenceman Nicklas Lidstrom had previously suffered a "nearly catastrophic" testicle injury. Yes, a testicle injury.

Now, for a man, there are two places on your anatomy that can be injured that can make another man quiver in his boots. The first is any injury to the throat. Getting punched, slashed or anything in the throat can, at times, be vomit inducing. The other, of course, is the nuts. Getting in the nuts doesn't just hurt. If hit hard enough, it takes the wind out of you. Your balls feel like they've just been mashed with a sledgehammer. You can't stand straight. And the worst part is, it's not a noticable hurt. Only you know the agony you're in. How do I know? I got hit in the balls with a puck last year playing a hockey tournament in Laurel and my nuts didn't stop aching for 3 days.

With that said, magnify that by 100 in Lidstrom's case. Allegdly, Blackhawks forward Patrick Sharp gave Lidstrom the business with his stick right between the legs. I just can't believe Lidstrom only missed two games. There's a lot of things you can say about men and their balls, but the words "nearly catastrophic" shouldn't be anywhere near them.

Still, as bad as Lidstrom's injury sounds, it doesn't hold a candle to Flyers forward Patrick Thoresen getting hit in the nuts with a Mike Green shot in last year's playoffs.

You can actually sort of hear Thoresen scream in agony (over 18,000 screaming people no less) when he gets hit. That's how bad getting hit in the balls hurts. You get hit in the sack like that, no wonder Thoresen went back to Europe.

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