Caps Playoff Education (Through Metallica)

Tonight, the Washington Capitals will open Game 1 of their 1st round playoff series against the New York Rangers. I figured I would do a preview, but one struggles with how to do one different than everybody else. After all, how can I do it better than Puck Daddy, Peerless or Japer's. I thought about discussing the Caps playoff chances through movie quotes, but Bill Simmons already cornered the market on that gimmick. Then it hit me, I love hockey and I love Metallica? Why not combined the two? And since one of my favorite Metallica albums is 1988's "...And Justice For All" why not use that to preview the Caps chances.

Just as a little background, "...And Justice For All" is probably the angriest, most progressive and most political album Metallica ever did. With multiple time changes, intricate guitar solos and lengthy song structures (the shortest track is 5 minutes long) "...And Justice For All" was Metallica pushing the limits of thrash metal to the most extreme. The arrangements here were so complicated, the band would soon completely change its approach because the tracks were so difficult to pull off live. The lyrics might be the angriest that James Hetfield has ever written, partly inspired by the death of bassist Cliff Burton in 1986. The album's concept is a broken justice system, but it also contains themes of insanity, paranoia, war and corruption. And on top of all that, it flat out kicks ass.

So, here now for your amusement is my useless opinion about the Caps-Rangers series, broken down under each track from "...And Justice For All." I'll put down the song title, followed by a player, place or things related to this series. Enjoy.

1) "Blackened" - Expectations

The first track on "...And Justice For All" starts off as Metallica albums did back in the day, with a dose of classical guitar before exploding into a full-on metal assualt. The song seems to be about the apocalypse and that ties in with what will happen shall the Caps fail to get out of the first round this year. A Southeast Division title and a playoff berth are no longer satisfactory. Fans have their eyes on a larger prize and expectations for this team are very high. Can the Caps handle having external pressure to win for really the first time?

For the Rangers, there's a different kind of pressure, that of playing in New York. But if there is one thing working in their favor, it's that most experts do not expect them to win this series. Knowing the world doesn't expect much of you can help ease the pressure. Since nobody outside New York thinks they can win, the Rangers can relax and just play hockey. It's up to the Caps, who have the better team talent-wise, to go out and crush any thoughts the Rangers may have about winning this series. If they let the Rangers steal a game or two early, it could be trouble.

Relevant lyric:
"Blackened is the end/Winter it will send/Throwing all you see/Into obscurity"

2) "...And Justice For All" - Caps power play

One of the longest and most complex songs on the record, the title track is a scathing indictment of the justice system. On the other hand, the Caps power play will be a scathing indictment of the Rangers discipline, should the New Yorkers decide to have a parade to the penalty box. The Caps had the league's 2nd-ranked power play and when it's clicking, it can be scary good. The Caps can put four-world class talents on the ice at the same time: Alex Ovechkin, Mike Green, Alex Semin and Nicklas Backstrom. Throw in the power game of Brooks Laich in front of the net and the Caps have a combination of passing, grit and skill that can score at will.

If there's one thing the Rangers can exploit however, it's the all-offense, all-the-time approach of Green and Ovechkin, who play the point on the power play. The Caps gave up a lot of shorthanded goals this year because Ovie and Green were up ice all the time, leading to easy breakaways and odd-man rushes. Last year, Caps Coach Bruce Boudreau had to change things up against Philadelphia, putting Ovechkin down low and the more defensively-responsible Sergei Fedorov at the point because Flyer penalty killers were exploiting the Caps aggressiveness.

Relevant lyric: "The ultimate in vanity/Exploiting their supremacy/I can't believe the things you say/I can't believe/I can't believe the price you pay/Nothing can save you"

3)"Eye Of The Beholder" - Caps secondary scoring

Another scathing lyrical track, this one about censorship. The lyrics take the view of the oppressor, telling his subject that he can have his freedom of choice, but only if he does it the way he's told. Censorship is also a relevant topic when it comes to the Caps secondary scoring. Pretty much anybody not named Ovechkin, Backstrom, Green, Semin and Laich, seemed to censor their goal-scoring for long stretches, especially in February and March.

Tomas Fleischmann looked like he was on his way to a 25-30 goal season over the course of the first 3 months, but he hit the wall big time in 2009, scoring only 4 goals since January. Eric Fehr looked like he was poised for a breakout at one point in 2009 but his scoring touch disappeared as quickly as it arrived. Fedorov will be there, he's always been a solid playoff performer. But what about Viktor Kozlov? He's yet to score a playoff goal in his 14-year career, only registering 6 assists in 21 career playoff games. That has to change, especially since he is likely going to be skating on Ovie and Backstrom's line. Anything the Caps get from Michael Nylander, Professor Matt Bradley, David Steckel and the returning Donald Brashear should be considered gravy. No matter who it is, the Caps need more than 5 guys to do the scoring in order to go where they want to go.

Relevant lyric: "Do you take what I take?/Endurance is the word/Moving back instead of forward seems to me absurd"

4) "One" - Alex Ovechkin

The most famous song off "...And Justice For All" is a grim ballad about a soldier who has lost his arms, legs, sight, speech and hearing. It was based off the 1938 Dalton Trumbo novel "Johnny Got His Gun" and has maybe the most well-known kick-drum solo in the history of music. That would seem to have little to do with hockey but the title can refer to what Ovie needs to be in this series. Like Neo, Ovechkin has to be "The One."

He's got the individual honors, he's got the adulation, now it's time for the league's best player to step up and carry his team on a long playoff run. Ovie needs a signature playoff moment and what better stage to start on than The Big Apple? Yes, hockey is the most team-oriented of games but the Caps happen to have the one player on Earth who can win a game by himself. The time is now.

Relevant lyric: "Now the world is gone I'm just one/Oh God, help me/Hold my breath as I wish for death/Oh, please God, wake me"

5) "The Shortest Straw" - Sean Avery

One of the more lyrically complex songs on "...And Justice For All," "The Shortest Straw" seems to deal with injustice on its surface. It could also be about a failed revolution. The lyrics do deal with the subject of infamy and there may not be a more infamous player in the NHL than Meester Sean AAAAAAvery ($10 if you can guess the movie that reference comes from. Just say the name like that but slowly.)


All the national pundits are wondering what Avery might do in this series. After all, the last time he was in the playoffs, he inspired his own rule. To his credit, Boudreau says the Caps plan is to ignore Avery. But let's see how long that lasts the minute Avery cheapshots someone, dives or runs away from a fight. Avery is capable of doing all three of those things on a shift. If the Caps are able to ignore Avery's antics, it will go a long way towards rendering him ineffective, even a liability to the Rangers if he is taking long sabbaticals in the penalty box.

Relevant Lyric: "Shortest straw/Challenge liberty/Downed by law/Live in infamy/Rub you raw"

6) "Harvester Of Sorrow" - Henrik Lundqvist

The simplest song on "...And Justice For All" is also one of its most intense and the title is what King Henrik could be for the Caps if he's on his game.

The Rangers netminder is the kind of goalie who can steal a series and the Caps will need to get to him early and often if they want to win. At the same time, if the Rangers are going to win this series, they need Lundqvist to be otherworldly in goal. On paper, the Rangers have the better 'tender but the Caps have the better team overall. Not to sound like Dan Fouts or Tim McCarver but whoever wins out in that battle will take the series.

Relevant Lyric: "Anger/Misery/You'll suffer unto me/Harvester of sorrow/Language of the mad"

7) "The Frayed Ends Of Sanity" - Jose Theodore

This song is about paranoia and no player on the Caps roster inspires as much paranoia as Theo. All year, the mainstream media has picked on the Caps goalie as the weak link. Now he has the chance to prove that the Caps can win with him in goal. The one thing Theo has going for him is that he's never lost a first round series as a starting goaltender. The bad news is that he's in a no-win situation in this series. If he and the Caps win, they were supposed to win. If the Caps lose, much of the blame is going to fall on the goaltender and all the media talking heads are going to say things like "The Caps would be Cup contenders if they had a better goalie." The fans calling for Simeon Varlamov to assume the starting role will get a lot louder if Theo fails to get the Caps out of Round 1.

Relevant Lyric: "Loss of interest, question, wonder/Waves of fear they pull me under"

8) "To Live Is To Die" - Mike Green and the Caps D

The final song written by Cliff Burton, this nearly 10-minute instrumental (with a brief speaking passage) was also the last instrumental Metallica would do until "Suicide And Redemption" from last year's "Death Magnetic." The final lines of the song are written on a memorial stone for Burton in Sweden, where he died while the band was on tour. In the context of the Caps, the title can also refer to Mike Green and his gambling style of play, as well as the defense corps as a whole.

With Greener, you're going to get his offense. He's the best D-man in the league as far as scoring goals and jumping into the play. But his go-for-broke style can also lead to odd-man rushes for the other team, as witnessed in the season finale against Florida. You don't want to see Green alter the style of play that has made him a Norris Trophy candidate, but in the playoffs, you would like to see him be more cognizant of his own end. Then again, Greener is the least of the question marks surrounding this defense.

Is Brian Pothier ready for the rigors of the postseason?

Which Shaone Morrisonn will show up? The consistent force from last season or the inconsistent defender from this season?

Is Tom Poti healthy?

Are Milan Jurcina and John Erskine too slow?

Is Jeff Schultz too soft?

The answers to these questions will go a long way towards whether the Caps live or die in these playoffs.

Relevant Lyric: "Cannot the kingdom of salvation/Take me home"

9) "Dyers Eve" - The Caps playoff history

The most personal song on the album, about James Hetfield's ultra-religious upbringing in Downey, Ca., "Dyers Eve" can also sum up the angst that builds up in Caps fans around this time. After all, this club's playoff history is as gory as an Eli Roth film. The list of collapses, chokes and heartbreak is longer than "War And Peace" Let's see, there was the Easter Epic in 1986. Ron Hextall's second goal in 1989. Blowing a 3-1 lead to Pittsburgh in 1992. Dale Hunter's hit on Pierre Turgeon in 1993. Petr Nedved in four overtimes in 1996. Jason Doig's too-many-men on the ice penalty in 2003 that cost them a three overtime game against Tampa Bay. Joffrey Lupul last year. It's ugly.

Of course, much of the team's history changed on this day:

This Caps team seems different. It's a club poised for a breakthrough. The door is open. Now they have to walk through it.

Relevant Lyric: "Dear mother/Dear father/You've clipped my wings before I've learned to fly/Unspoiled/Unspoken/I've outgrown that fucking lullaby"

The Hangar's Call: Caps in 6

Too Much Time On Their Hands Files

Actually my title is quite misleading because these clips are an example of how too much time on one's hands can be a cool thing. There is someone out there in internets-land who did a bunch of Metallica songs on solo piano. I must say, color me impressed. I'm sure if you take the time you too will be impressed with this gal's (!) work.

"Battery"


"Master Of Puppets"


"The Call Of Ktulu" (probably my favorite of all the ones she did)


"Orion"


"The Day That Never Comes"


"Enter Sandman"


"Harvester Of Sorrow"

We're Back/Today's YouTube Clip To Swing Your Heavy Metal Hair To

As a child of the late 80s/early 90s baseball card boom, I was a voracious reader of Beckett Baseball Card Monthly. It was always a very satisfying sight to look at Beckett and see that my Frank Thomas 1990 Leaf rookie card was worth $100. One of my favorite Beckett issues was the one from, I think, around 1991-92. Bo Jackson, still for my money the best all-around athlete I've ever seen, was coming back to baseball after missing a year due to a hip injury. For those that don't remember Bo, he was a sight to behold. Now, he's more famous for his prowess at the old Techmo Bowl game than anything else, but Bo really was that damn good. He was also one of the first huge crossover athletes (along with Michael Jordan) that became a marketing phenom. Remember the old "Bo Knows" ads?

...anyway, coming to the point. When Bo came back to baseball, Beckett ran this very clever shot of the back of Bo Jackson's jersey with the line "Bo's Back" underneath it. I always loved that shot but alas, it does not live on in Google images, so this old Nike poster will have to do.

So we are back to the business of being Hangar 39 and I'll have at least 2 posts up for you later today, one of which will involve the 25th anniversary of the Baltimore Colts move to Indianapolis.

For now, enjoy your YouTube Clip To Swing Your Heavy Metal Hair To, which is a beauty. It's Metallica covering "The Ecstasy of Gold" from the film "The Good, The Bad And The Ugly." This has long been their entrance music and the video works very well because whoever did it laid the Metallica version of the track over where the original Enrico Morricone version appears in the film. Enjoy fools.

"Kill 'Em All" Postscript

I meant to put this up at the end of the "Kill 'Em All" piece but by the time I finished it, YouTube was doing site maintenance (as always). It ended up working out since the piece ran quite long and none of you fuckers read anyway. But if you did read the piece, you might find these clips illuminating. It's a three part interview with James Hetfield and Lars Ulrich talking with Metal Blade Records founder Brian Slagel about the making of "Kill 'Em All" on it's 25th anniversary last year.

Metal Classics

Metallica - "Kill 'Em All"
(Ed. Note- This little section used to be called "Albums I Am Addicted To" but I'm changing it to the slightly less cumbersome "Metal Classics", sort of my version of Roger Ebert's Great Movies pieces, only written by me and about heavy metal albums. Enjoy)

Has there ever been a more metal song than "Seek And Destroy" off Metallica's debut album "Kill 'Em All"? Sure, there have been better metal songs - Metallica themselves have several - but as a pure, unadulterated expression of what "metal" is, as a summation of an entire musical philosophy, there isn't anything better.

I think part of the reason some people turned on Metallica a little bit in recent years was what some fans probably felt was a loss of this "Seek And Destroy" ethos. As early as the massive selling "Metallica" (aka "The Black Album") in 1991 people were yelling sellout. Oh sure, there were other things along the road: the haircuts for the "Load" album, the more blues based music of "Load" and "Reload," the Napster lawsuit, the sprawling mess that was "St. Anger" and the well-documented group therapy sessions.

The band came full circle though this year with "Death Magnetic," an album that was not just a return to form but also helped put the preceeding 17 years in perspective. As the band members got older, they didn't want to be limited by the manifesto they helped lay out. You can't be a raging beast forever. Certainly some bands have survived for 30 years by doing essentially the same thing - Slayer, AC/DC and Motorhead all come to mind. But even those groups experienced their share of lean years - Slayer in the 90s, AC/DC for most of the 80s and early 90s and Motorhead has never had much commercial success in America.

Metallica was never that sort of band anyway. As early as their second record, "Ride The Lightning," they had begun to branch out with elaborate instrumentals and even a ballad ("Fade To Black"). This was a band that has always been willing to stick their necks out there and try something different.

So having looked ahead, we can now look back on "Kill 'Em All." In hindsight, it really sounds like no other Metallica record. It's sort of like watching the James Bond film "Dr. No" again after having seen all the other Bond movies that came after it. There's a DIY, raw, hardcore feel to "Kill 'Em All." The sound of young band in their garage trying to piss off the neighbors. They looked like four guys that just emerged from a hail of pot smoke in a basement.

Metallica makes clear what they are all about from the very first lines of the very first song, "Hit The Lights" - "No life 'til leather/Gonna kick some ass tonight." Obviously, the first thing that jumps out is how high James Hetfield's voice was on this record. He sounds more like Mercyful Fate's King Diamond (an early influence on Metallica) than he ever would again.

"Hit The Lights" leads into the first huge Metallica anthem, "The Four Horsemen," a song which the band would keep in their live set fairly consistently ever since. The song was so popular amongst fans that band took on the title as a nickname. Interesting thing about "The Four Horsemen" is that it was originally written by the band's first lead guitarist Dave Mustaine under a different title( I won't rehash the band's history. If you don't know it, why are you reading this? But if you need a refresher, here's their Wikipedia page for quick reference.) When Kirk Hammett took over, he added probably the key part of the song - the slow bridge in the middle. It was the first hint of the more sophisticated arrangements the band would perfect in later years.

From there we get "Motorbreath," a song written by Hetfield before he started Metallica and is done in a style similar to Motorhead. It's a celebration of all things metal with its defiant chorus, "Motorbreath/It's how I live my life/I can't take it any other way." "Jump In The Fire" is next and almost certainly bears the influence of proto-black metal pioneers Mercyful Fate and Venom, both contemporaries of Metallica. Lyrically it's like nothing Hetfield would ever write again, with its narrative of going to hell, told from Satan's point of view.

That brings us to the most musically extraordinary track on the record, Cliff Burton's bass solo, "Anethesia (Pulling Teeth)." I listen to this now and still can't believe Burton used a bass guitar to make all those sounds. While Cliff just noodling around is a case of "how did he do that?" When Lars Ulrich's drums enter the picture the instrumental jam becomes a song and yet you still can't believe that its just drums and bass doing that. Burton and Ulrich alone could have been one of the heaviest bands on the planet if this song was any indication. It was unfortunate for Burton's successors (Jason Newstead and Robert Trujillo) that they had to follow this act. Besides being one of the unique bass players to ever walk the Earth, Cliff looked like he came out of heavy metal central casting. It must be like following Sean Connery as James Bond. No matter what his successors do, they will always be measured up to Burton.

After that is "Whiplash," which, along with Slayer's "Angel Of Death," can pretty much be called "Thrash Metal 101." You wanna know what thrash metal is? Listen to "Whiplash."

Following that, the album loses a little of its momentum with "Phantom Lord" and "No Remorse," two songs that aren't bad on their own but in the context of this album, seem like b-sides.

Then we come full circle to "Seek And Destroy," with one of the most famous opening riffs in all of heavy metal. But as opposed to Metallica's other famous opening riff, the one for "Enter Sandman," this one signals not the coming of some huge monster, but of the gunslingers riding into town. Of four punks storming into a bar full of rednecks, looking to raise hell ("We're scanning the scene/In the city tonight/We're looking for you/To start up a fight.") The song has a swagger to go with its heaviness. It all leads to the fist-pumping chorus, "Searching/Seek and destroy," that would remain a staple of the band's live set. It's "Seek And Destroy" where Metallica separated themselves from the Motley Crue's and Def Leppard's of the world. Those bands, while great in their own right, were always more about good times, good drugs and sexy women. Metallica made it clear their only goal was to be the biggest metal band the world has ever seen, "Our brains are on fire with the feeling to kill/And it won't go away until our dreams are fulfilled."

If "Seek And Destroy" is the battle call, then the closer, "Metal Militia," sets the troops in motion - "Oh through the mist and the madness/We're trying to get the message to you/Metal militia." However, the key verse in the song is the last one. It really sums up why people like myself love heavy metal, why millions of people throughout the world love this form of music. No matter what kind of people try to put down metal, whether it be parents, teachers, government officials or the religious right, it's this verse that explains why metal will never die. Why it unites people from Baltimore to Berlin, from Orlando to Oslo.

"We are as one, yes, we are all the same
Fighting for one cause
Leather and metal are our uniforms
Protecting what we are
Joining together to take on the world
With our heavy metal
Spreading the message to everyone here
Come let yourself go."