Caps Under Construction- Part 2

Here is Part 2 of my belated running commentary of the Comcast SportsNet special profiling the Capitals 2006 draft. if you missed Part 1, well, it's right below you. Alright,if you're still too lazy, here's the link. I'll wait and let you catch up...

OK, on with Part 2:


:09 - Dirty Al Koken tells us that GMGM would be comfortable taking any of the big four forwards available (Jordan Staal, Jonathan Toews, Nicklas Backstrom and Phil Kessel) with the 4th overall pick. Then with a dramatic pause, Al says the Caps have locked in on Backstrom as their man. Sort of takes the drama out of things doesn't it?

:36 - From the penthouse of the luxurious looking Pan Pacific Hotel in Vancouver, GMGM gets on the phone with Pittsburgh Penguins GM Ray Shero. I love the "Pop-Up Video" style graphics CSN used for this thing.

GMGM and Shero hold some awkward small talk: "You getting something to eat?" "Great." Surely I could make a Hannibal Lecter-Jame Gumb joke in there somewhere. I wonder if they edited out the part where GMGM asks Shero how his woman suit is coming along. Too which Shero would respond, "No George, we drafted the woman last year." Anyway, the purpose of GMGM's call was to find out who Shero is taking with the 2nd overall pick. Somehow the conversation gets steered to defenceman Jack Johnson.

GMGM: "Umm, I'd have to think about that." He sounds like Edmund Kemper deciding whether or not to carve up his grandma.

2:21 - GMGM's next call is to Chicago GM Dale Tallon, who wisely doesn't tip his hand too much, saying he's trying to decide between Kessel and Toews, provided that Pittsburgh takes Staal at #2. I love CSN's framing of GMGM's water bottle in the foreground. It seems to say, "You WILL look at this water bottle!!" The conversation between GMGM and Tallon seems a lot less awkward. And by less awkward I mean more of a bank-robber vibe than a serial killer vibe. We also learn that Erik Johnson has already been signed by St. Louis, who will make him the #1 overall selection.

4:03 - The next call is full of high comedy. It's New York Islanders GM Neil Smith calling to see about moving up. The irony here is that Smith would be the Isles GM for about 5 minutes after this. He was fired and replaced by backup goaltender Garth Snow (you read that correctly). Ah, the Fish Sticks, always an adventure. My favorite part of this call is when GMGM says "We worked all year to get in decent position here." Translation: All the sucking we did this season wasn't for nothing.

4:41 - Dirty Al sets us up for Part 3 - Draft Day. Alas, he doesn't hit us with a breathless teaser this time. Damn you Al! Dammmmmmmmn Youuuuuuu!!!!

Caps Under Construction - Part 1

On my travels through the YouTubes I came across this little item that aired on Comcast SportsNet in the DC/Baltmo region: A 30-minute behind-the-scenes look at the Washington Capitals 2006 draft. The Caps granted CSN unprecedented access to the team's draft process. I'm glad someone out there managed to post it to the YouTubes, so glad, I decided to keep a little belated running commentary. The show is broken down into 4 parts, so I will post in four parts. Here now, is Part 1:


:20 - Comcast SportsNet host Al Koken welcomes us to beautiful Vancouver, British Columbia for the 2006 NHL Entry Draft. Two notes: 1) I REALLLLLY want to go to Vancouver one of these days and 2) You have to love the Einstein inspired hairdo that Koken is rocking. Koken has been working for CSN (and its forerunner Home Team Sports) for so long that a number of years ago they tried giving him the nickname "Smokin'" Al Koken. It was highly ironic, considering no one besides Mrs. Koken would consider him "smokin'." It's sort of like Harry Shearer's character in "Wayne's World 2" being named "Handsome Dan." I am informed by my buddy Pat, a huge Redskins fan, that on "The Doc Walker Show" Koken is known as "Dirty" Al Koken. I like that name. Dirty Al Koken sounds like some leecherous old man who stays up until 3 a.m. eating Cheetos and watching YouPorn.

:59 - CSN sets the stage of where the Caps are at this point, starting with the 2004 drafting of Alex Ovechkin and taking us through Ovie's rookie season, which included "The Goal" and ended with him capturing Rookie Of The Year honors.

2:16 - Dirty Al interviews Caps General Manager George McPhee (heretofore known as GMGM) before the NHL Awards ceremony. GMGM wields the charisma of Ted Bundy and speaks in the same matter-of-fact tone. He looks like the last thing he'd rather be doing is talking to Dirty Al.

2:59 - Ovie says "I'm so nervous" at least four times in 2 seconds regarding his speech after winning ROY honors. I think he was nervous. And reason #572 why you gotta love Ovie: "I want to play hockey right now. Give me puck, Zubby (then teammate Dainius Zubrus) give me puck."

4:12 - Dirty Al then sets up the draft order. The Caps will be picking fourth behind St. Louis, Pittsburgh and Chicago. The top prospects include defenceman Erik Johnson and forwards Jordan Staal (of the ubiquitous Staal clan), Jonathan Toews (pronounced Tay-ves), Nicklas Backstrom and Phil Kessel.

4:43 - End of the segment where Dirty Al breathlessly tells us "Where anything can happen. And usually does." He's either talking about the NHL Draft or a video he just saw on scatlovers.com.

Today's YouTube Clip To Swing Your Heavy Metal Hair To

I'll be coming at you with a slew of posts on this very windy Saturday but first, I gotta lube you muthafuckas up (that didn't sound right) by giving you your daily dose of headbanging METAL!

Today's choice was a bit conflicting for me. It's a very cool song but maybe the most heavy-handed "message" video I've ever seen and that includes Soul Asylum's "Runaway Train" video and just about anything from Axl Rose or Michael Jackson. It's "99 Ways To Die" by Megadeth. I'm sure you will enjoy it if you can get past all the "guns suck" preachiness. Here's a way you can enjoy it: put the track on, then scroll through and read some of my old blogs. Your enjoyment of the song will go up five-fold after that.

Sabres 5 Caps 4 (OT)

OK, first the good news, the Caps can go shopping for another one of these...


The Caps officially clinched themselves a top-3 seed in the playoffs by winning the Southeast Division again. That would be the good news. The bad news is that the Caps were very sloppy tonight and the effort was particularly uninspiring 5 on 5.

Buffalo wasn't much better as 3 of their 5 goals came off of funny bounces and richochets, only Derek Roy's goal being intentional. The Caps were bailed out by their power play, which went 3 for 7 tonight. The second period saw a parade of guys going to the penalty box. If one guy summed up the whole Caps night, it was Sergei Fedorov. He had two goals but also was -2 and had a terrible giveaway that set up Jason Pominville's overtime winner for the Sabres. The win kept Buffalo alive for the playoffs, barely, to the delight of the legions of fans that invade the Phone Booth. I have no explanation for why so many Buffalo Sabres fans invade Verizon Center everytime. Maybe its cause Buffalo, much like Pittsburgh and Easton, Md., is the the type of place you flee as soon as humanly possible.

While the game was sloppy, it was entertaining, with lots of chances back and forth. I suppose an effort like this was to be expected, since the Caps have spent almost a month on cruise control, playing crappy teams in glorified scrimmages. I think all Caps fans would prefer the team come out and stomp teams to feel like we're rolling into the playoffs. Certainly, there is motivation to hold off New Jersey and get that second seed against Montreal or New York rather than be in a 1st round war with Philadelphia, Pittsburgh or Carolina. Whatever the case, the Caps did take care of the business at hand and locked up the Southeast. You'd rather do it with a win, especially a convincing one, but consider goal #1 reached.

Next game is Sunday afternoon against surging Atlanta (winners of 10 of 13). Caps better bring their A-game for that one, since the Thrash seem content to play themselves right out of the lottery. But until then, let's say goodnight to da bad guys.


Here's the highlights of tonight's game. Do yourself a favor and turn the volume down to avoid hearing the ultra-annoying nasal voice of Buffalo announcer Rick Jenneret. Seriously, do it. Do it. Do it.

Too Much Time On Their Hands Files

Actually my title is quite misleading because these clips are an example of how too much time on one's hands can be a cool thing. There is someone out there in internets-land who did a bunch of Metallica songs on solo piano. I must say, color me impressed. I'm sure if you take the time you too will be impressed with this gal's (!) work.

"Battery"


"Master Of Puppets"


"The Call Of Ktulu" (probably my favorite of all the ones she did)


"Orion"


"The Day That Never Comes"


"Enter Sandman"


"Harvester Of Sorrow"

Ovie vs. LeBron

Excellent get from Dan Steinberg over at D.C. Sports Bog: It's the historic (OK, maybe not historic) summit meeting between LeBron James and Alex Ovechkin after last night's Wizznuts-Cavaliers game. Pretty amazing scoop, the best hockey player on Earth and the best basketball player on Earth having an awkward conversation in the bowels of Verizon Center.

Best parts of this story- 1) LeBron rocking a Kanye West-inspired ensemble 2) Nicklas Backstrom playing the role of "third guy in the porn scene." and 3) LeBron's line: "Yeah. He's a bad boy. God....I don't know how you guys do that [stuff], sliding on ice and still hit the [dang] puck? Whooo." Somehow I envision LeBron doing this with a look that says "Where's the bus again?" and Ovie doing this with a "What the fuck is up with those glasses? He no understand fashion." look on his face.

As if that were not enough, there's video!

Today's YouTube Clip To Swing Your Heavy Metal Hair To

Hello there. Sorry no posts yesterday (like you care) but I should have a slate of new things up this weekend. So many that you will be sick of me.

Anyway, time to unleash some classic power metal on that ass with a band that is more known for their difficulty in "Guitar Hero" than anything else. But they do bring back that classic Maiden-like sound and this song in particular is pretty cool. It's England's own Dragonforce with "Through The Fire And The Flames." Since it is more famous for its "Guitar Hero" insanity, I will give you two versions of this: the actual Dragonforce video, followed by someone doing the song on "expert" in "Guitar Hero." Enjoy suckas.

The Too Much Time On Their Hands Files

For this late night blog I'm going to make two separate points and then tie them together. Bear with me now 'cause I'm kinda fast.

One of my favorite recent comedy's is "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story."

It's usually on Starz/Encore every 5 hours and I always get sucked into it. Admittedly, it's not a flawless movie; it completely falls apart in the last 25 minutes but for the first hour and 15 minutes it is as funny as any recent comedy. John C. Reilly is hysterical in the title role, the movie absolutely shreds biopic cliches, the one-liners come fast and furious and the songs are very clever.

Now on a completely unrelated tangent. It's a well-known fact that there are too many people in this world with entirely too much time on their hands. Thanks to new media platforms like Twitter, YouTube and Wikipedia, there are outlets for these kinds of folks. The people who do some of these things should be working for the government.

Ok, with that said, it's time to tie this all together. My favorite song in "Walk Hard" is "Let's Duet," which parodies Johnny and June Carter Cash (as the whole movie does). The song is rife with double entendres like the title itself and these gems...
"In my dreams you're blowing me.......some kisses."
"I just want to make out.......what you're saying."
"You and I could go down.......in history."
"Let's duet......in ways that make us feel good."
"I'm just gonna beat off.....all my demons."
"Here I am a sneakin'behind you......You can always come in my back door."

With that backdrop, somebody out there in the world synched "Let's Duet" to Guitar Hero III. Whoever in the world thought this up and executed is some kind of genius and has entirely too much time on their hands. Enjoy.

Caps 5 Islanders 3

Before I roll through this recap, allow me to make a few notes that I did not get in because of the hockey tournament layoff. First, the Caps did clinch a playoff berth before Friday's game with Tampa Bay, so the boys in red are in the dance. Second, the Caps beat the Lightning 5-3 to punctuate that playoff berth. Alex Ovechkin scored two (reaching the 100-point mark) and Masterson Award nominee Brian Pothier got his first goal back after missing nearly two years with post-concussion syndrome. Ok, with that out of the way on to tonight's game with the New York Islanders.

Again, before I get started, here are the highlights from NHL.com, you know, in case you don't like words.


It was a very listless first 21 minutes by the Caps. They were down 2-0 and were being outworked and outhustled by the Islanders, only the worst team in the NHL. But then we had an argument for why fighting should be kept in the sport. John Erskine, having to play the tough guy role with Donald Brashear out of the lineup, picked a scrap with Isles toughie Joel Rechlicz, not winning necessarily but landing some solid punches. Then Mike Green elbowed Andy Hilbert in the head (a senseless play. For the Caps sake, hopefully Greener isn't suspended). The Islanders Tim Jackman, understandably, went looking for retribution and found an unlikely dance partner in Jeff Schultz. The Sarge has taken a lot of criticism in Capsland for being soft but he deserves a lot of credit for answering the bell in defense of a teammate.

The fights woke the team up and they quickly got goals from Ovie (#54) and Keith Aucoin (#1) to tie the game. From there, the Caps turned it into their kind of game and peppered Isles goalie Joey MacDonald. The team then came out of the gate slowly and a bad turnover by Michael Nylander (which looked like it got him benched) led to a goal by Richard Park and a 3-2 Isles lead.

But then it turned into the Mike Green Show. Mr. Bed Head popped #29 on the season (a power play goal) on a beautiful passing play by Alex Semin. Number 30 wasn't a blistering howitzer of a shot, merely a flick of the wrist, but MacDonald couldn't see it through a Tomas Fleischmann screen. Cue bedlam at the Phone Booth as the Lamborghini Man joined an exclusive club: the 8th defenceman to score 30 goals in a season. It's a group that includes legendary names like Orr, Coffey, Potvin and...Kevin Hatcher? (Wha!?!) Nicklas Backstrom added an empty netter to seal the deal.

Notes:

- The trio of Josh Bailey, Park and Kyle Okposo was a thorn in the Caps side all night, especially Park who learned how to torture the Caps at the most popular school for such things: Pittsburgh.

- Speaking of Shitsburgh, they helped the Caps out tonight by crushing struggling New Jersey 6-1, giving the Capital City Red Boys a 3-point cusion for 2nd place with 5 games to play.

- A little too much going on with those new Islanders jerseys. I like the old solid navy blue ones they used to have. Here, judge for yourself but I think you will agree that less is more.
...Old...

...New...

- With the win, the Caps also crossed the 100-point plateau and with a Carolina loss to New York tomorrow, can clinch their 2nd straight Southeast Division title. If the Caps win this division enough, can they PLEASE take down those embarrasing "Washington Mystics Attendance Champions" banners?

- Besides getting #30 tonight, Green threw a baa-yu-ty hit on Jackman behind the net.

- I like that Russian line with Viktor Kozlov, Ovechkin and Sergei Fedorov. The Isles defence couldn't get the puck off them.

-Speaking of the former Mr. Anna Kournikova - that would be Fedorov - he made a dandy of a pass on Ovie's goal.

- I like what Aucoin brings to this club and I thought he worked very well with Eric Fehr and Fleischmann when they were together.

- Michael Nylander had played well of late but he reverted back to sucking tonight. I don't think he took a shift after that bad turnover on Park's goal. I have a hunch Bruce Boudreau will have his ass stapled to the bench for Friday night's game against Buffalo.

So there you have it, a second straight 5-3 win over a bottom-feeding club. These games have had the feel of glorified exhibition games but that should change Friday night against a desperate Sabres team fighting for their playoff lives. As usual, there will be plenty of Buffalo fans in the stands so the atmosphere for that one should be more like a playoff game. Until then, it's one more...for the good guys.

Today's YouTube Clip To Swing Your Heavy Metal Hair to

I'll have some new stuff up tonight including a Caps recap and hopefully one more new post. Haven't decided if it will be music or sports related though. Until then, lets continue Slayer Week here at Hangar 39. Before we get to the clip, allow me to alert you to the extreme comedy that is "Slayer Tags" on the band's MySpace page. These are everyday items that have been tagged with the Slayer logo. This one, of course, is my favorite...

...but there's even more goodness where that came from. Some examples...






One last bit of Slayer goodness. This live version of "Mandatory Suicide" from 2004's "Still Reigning" DVD.