Caps Under Construction - Part 4

OK, we're ready for our 4th and final installment of "Caps Under Construction." If you missed anything, scroll down or click here, here and here. You know the drill.

Now for Part 4:


:15 - The Caps are on the clock and GMGM is ready with the pick. Caps owner Ted Leonsis and GMGM inform Alex Ovechkin that he'll be announcing the pick. Ovie, rocking a Gallagher Brothers haircut, tries to get out of it, to no avail.

GMGM: "Gary Bettman wants you to talk."
Ovie: (not said) "Somebody got Bettman off Crosby's knob long enough for him to say that?"

1:36 - The Caps team gets ready to go up to make the pick but not before GMGM goes over Ovie's line "The Washington Capitals are happy to pick Nicklas Backstrom" more times than Stanley Kubrick made Shelley Duvall scream during the making of "The Shining." Say it with me, "The Washington Capitals are happy to pick Nicklas Backstrom." "The Washington Capitals are happy to pick Nicklas Backstrom."

2:09 - A smirking GMGM tells Chicago's table "We're gonna take The Swede." I would officially like to add that line to the "List Of Things I Wish I Could Say More Often," along with "Hands off the merchandise" and "Do you want me to use the Spanish accent?" "We're gonna take The Swede" could be used for so many things, like picking which girl your buddies are going to talk to at a bar or taking a dump.

2:36 - GMGM and Ovie step up to the mic to make the pick. Despite his English not being very good (at least not at that point), and clearly being nervous, Ovie delivers (as he always does).
Ovie: "Washeengton Capeetals are happy to peek, Neecklas Baaackstrom."

3:23 - TSN (the Canadian sports channel covering the draft) analyst Bob McKenzie says, "Alex Ovechkin is going to love playing with this guy." Little did we know.

4:12 - Dirty Al and GMGM do a little post-draft interview:
GMGM: "We think he's an elite playmaking centre." Did they have Backstrom scouted well or what?

5:13 - Dirty Al wraps things up from Stanley Park in Vancouver. Al looks like he's auditioning for "Lifestyles Of The Rich And Famous." And then perfectly, we see the statue of Lord Stanley, inferring the Backstrom pick is one more step to the Caps winning Stanley's trophy.

So what did we learn? Well, if the 2004 draft with Ovie and Mike Green laid the foundation, 2006 was the house on top as the Caps landed the Goose to Ovechkin's Maverick. We learned that NHL GMs are loose-lipped and socially awkward at the same time. And we have seen that even professionals Pull A Mason from time to time. Finally, we learned that when all else fails, just tell people, "We're gonna take The Swede."

Caps Under Construction- Part 2

Here is Part 2 of my belated running commentary of the Comcast SportsNet special profiling the Capitals 2006 draft. if you missed Part 1, well, it's right below you. Alright,if you're still too lazy, here's the link. I'll wait and let you catch up...

OK, on with Part 2:


:09 - Dirty Al Koken tells us that GMGM would be comfortable taking any of the big four forwards available (Jordan Staal, Jonathan Toews, Nicklas Backstrom and Phil Kessel) with the 4th overall pick. Then with a dramatic pause, Al says the Caps have locked in on Backstrom as their man. Sort of takes the drama out of things doesn't it?

:36 - From the penthouse of the luxurious looking Pan Pacific Hotel in Vancouver, GMGM gets on the phone with Pittsburgh Penguins GM Ray Shero. I love the "Pop-Up Video" style graphics CSN used for this thing.

GMGM and Shero hold some awkward small talk: "You getting something to eat?" "Great." Surely I could make a Hannibal Lecter-Jame Gumb joke in there somewhere. I wonder if they edited out the part where GMGM asks Shero how his woman suit is coming along. Too which Shero would respond, "No George, we drafted the woman last year." Anyway, the purpose of GMGM's call was to find out who Shero is taking with the 2nd overall pick. Somehow the conversation gets steered to defenceman Jack Johnson.

GMGM: "Umm, I'd have to think about that." He sounds like Edmund Kemper deciding whether or not to carve up his grandma.

2:21 - GMGM's next call is to Chicago GM Dale Tallon, who wisely doesn't tip his hand too much, saying he's trying to decide between Kessel and Toews, provided that Pittsburgh takes Staal at #2. I love CSN's framing of GMGM's water bottle in the foreground. It seems to say, "You WILL look at this water bottle!!" The conversation between GMGM and Tallon seems a lot less awkward. And by less awkward I mean more of a bank-robber vibe than a serial killer vibe. We also learn that Erik Johnson has already been signed by St. Louis, who will make him the #1 overall selection.

4:03 - The next call is full of high comedy. It's New York Islanders GM Neil Smith calling to see about moving up. The irony here is that Smith would be the Isles GM for about 5 minutes after this. He was fired and replaced by backup goaltender Garth Snow (you read that correctly). Ah, the Fish Sticks, always an adventure. My favorite part of this call is when GMGM says "We worked all year to get in decent position here." Translation: All the sucking we did this season wasn't for nothing.

4:41 - Dirty Al sets us up for Part 3 - Draft Day. Alas, he doesn't hit us with a breathless teaser this time. Damn you Al! Dammmmmmmmn Youuuuuuu!!!!

Caps Under Construction - Part 1

On my travels through the YouTubes I came across this little item that aired on Comcast SportsNet in the DC/Baltmo region: A 30-minute behind-the-scenes look at the Washington Capitals 2006 draft. The Caps granted CSN unprecedented access to the team's draft process. I'm glad someone out there managed to post it to the YouTubes, so glad, I decided to keep a little belated running commentary. The show is broken down into 4 parts, so I will post in four parts. Here now, is Part 1:


:20 - Comcast SportsNet host Al Koken welcomes us to beautiful Vancouver, British Columbia for the 2006 NHL Entry Draft. Two notes: 1) I REALLLLLY want to go to Vancouver one of these days and 2) You have to love the Einstein inspired hairdo that Koken is rocking. Koken has been working for CSN (and its forerunner Home Team Sports) for so long that a number of years ago they tried giving him the nickname "Smokin'" Al Koken. It was highly ironic, considering no one besides Mrs. Koken would consider him "smokin'." It's sort of like Harry Shearer's character in "Wayne's World 2" being named "Handsome Dan." I am informed by my buddy Pat, a huge Redskins fan, that on "The Doc Walker Show" Koken is known as "Dirty" Al Koken. I like that name. Dirty Al Koken sounds like some leecherous old man who stays up until 3 a.m. eating Cheetos and watching YouPorn.

:59 - CSN sets the stage of where the Caps are at this point, starting with the 2004 drafting of Alex Ovechkin and taking us through Ovie's rookie season, which included "The Goal" and ended with him capturing Rookie Of The Year honors.

2:16 - Dirty Al interviews Caps General Manager George McPhee (heretofore known as GMGM) before the NHL Awards ceremony. GMGM wields the charisma of Ted Bundy and speaks in the same matter-of-fact tone. He looks like the last thing he'd rather be doing is talking to Dirty Al.

2:59 - Ovie says "I'm so nervous" at least four times in 2 seconds regarding his speech after winning ROY honors. I think he was nervous. And reason #572 why you gotta love Ovie: "I want to play hockey right now. Give me puck, Zubby (then teammate Dainius Zubrus) give me puck."

4:12 - Dirty Al then sets up the draft order. The Caps will be picking fourth behind St. Louis, Pittsburgh and Chicago. The top prospects include defenceman Erik Johnson and forwards Jordan Staal (of the ubiquitous Staal clan), Jonathan Toews (pronounced Tay-ves), Nicklas Backstrom and Phil Kessel.

4:43 - End of the segment where Dirty Al breathlessly tells us "Where anything can happen. And usually does." He's either talking about the NHL Draft or a video he just saw on scatlovers.com.