Speaking of new Capitals...

I'm a little late to the party on this one but I'd be remiss if I didn't say something about the Caps first round draft pick this year, Swedish centre Marcus Johansson. Here's some video (in Swedish no less!)

I wasn't so sure about this pick when the Caps made it. Personally, I liked Carter Ashton better, since he was a big guy who could play the wing. I hadn't heard of him being on anybody's radar in the first round, but by all accounts he's your typical Swedish centreman: around six feet tall, good playmaker with solid defensive skills, nothing flashy. The good news is that Johansson played in the Swedish Elite League (maybe the top pro hockey league outside the US) as an 18 year old, which is good, and Caps management liked his performance at the World Junior Championships this year. We'll probably see Johansson in Hershey in 2010-11 I would think, since Swedish players tend to take an extra year in the Elite League before coming over. Hopefully GM George McPhee knows what he's doing with this one.

Meet Your Newest Capital...

...Mr. Mike Knuble.

Deal is for 2 years, $5.8 milly for the ex-Flyer. Love this signing for the Caps. This was the sort of guy the team needed last year. Some beef and some scoring muscle on the front line. Knuble is a garbage goal scorer extradinaire and if he's skating on a line with Alex Ovechkin, he'll get lots of chances for garbage goals. Knuble is a big man (6'3, 230) and was supposedly very popular with the Philly fans and his teammates. As long as he's healthy, Knuble should score 25 goals easily on this team. Plus, as a break from the influx of Swedes and Russians the Caps have added over the last few years, he's a good, all-round American boy (born in Toronto but raised just outside of Grand Rapids, Michigan). Oh, and he also was a Caps killer in Philadelphia. Anyone want to remember this double OT goal in the 2008 playoffs?

MVP #2

So which is the more demonic looking Ovechkin picture: this? Or this?

Hmm, the lighting on this year's photo makes Ovie look downright sinister but the red tux from last year gave more of a Mephostopholes aura. Regardless, congrats to the Great 8 on MVP #2. Now, let's get the big hardware next year, eh?

Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad...

I'm a little late on this one (what else is new) but the Washington Capitals made it 2 out of 3 in organ-EYE-zation championships this past Friday as the team's AHL affiliate, the Hershey Bears, won their record 10th Calder Cup title with a 4-1 Game 6 victory over the Manitoba Moose. Goalie Michal Neuvirth was named the playoff MVP. Between Neuvirth and Caps playoff hero Simeon Varlamov, the Caps future in goal looks bright indeed.

So while the Pittsburgh Penguins may have gotten the guns, the Caps have the numbers with both the AHL and ECHL (South Carolina Stingrays) affiliates win their leagues. Here now is a cool YouTube clip, taken by a Moose fan, of the celebration and the Calder Cup presentation.


Best parts of these two vids? The classy applause from the Moose fans in Winnipeg and the videographer's "eh's?" Spoken like a true Canadian. Way to go Stingrays and way to go Bears! Your move Caps.

One Championship For The Capitals Organ-EYE-zation

While the Caps season has been over for a little while now, both of the team's minor league affiliates, the AHL's Hershey Bears and the ECHL's South Carolina Stingrays, made their respective finals. In other words, the Caps may be the only team in the chain to NOT win a championship.

Well, chalk it up at 1-for-1, as the Stingrays won the ECHL's Kelly Cup, defeating the Alaska Aces. The Stingrays had taken a 3-1 lead over the Aces, before losing Game 5 in Charleston, SC and Game 6 in Anchorage to force a Game 7. But the Stingrays managed to avoid the fate that has befell the Caps over the years and fought back to beat the Aces 4-2 on Alaska's home ice. Trent Campbell got the winning goal for the Stingrays and Rays goalie James Reimer was named playoff MVP.

(By the way, how sweet are those Alaska Aces uniforms? Nice)
Here's a link to the game story.

As for the Bears, they are tied 1-1 in their series for the AHL's Calder Cup with the wonderfully named Manitoba Moose. The Bears took Game 1 in Winnipeg in overtime, while the Moose took Game 2 3-1. Games 3&4 will be played on back-to-back nights in Hershey, Pa, tonight and tomorrow.

Damn You Yanni!!!

How could you Yanni? The Penguins? Really? Not only do you force Games 4 and 5 of the Caps-Pens series to be played on back-to-back nights but then you also rock a Cindy Crosby Penguins jersey?

In addition to that, you cut your long flowing locks and awesome mustache.

Really Yanni? Really? It's like I don't even know you. Who else can I turn to for weird, snooze-inducing new age music if I can't turn to you? Damn it Yanni, I don't know how to quit you! How could you line yourself with Shitsburgh? Forget it Yanni, I've moved on. To John Tesh. Because no one can dribble a fake basketball like Tesh. Hope you're happy.

Tonight Needs To Be Ovie Time

I'm not a big basketball fan, as this blog has gone into great detail about, but one of memory I have is from the 1993 NBA Finals. It was Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls shooting for a 3rd straight title against Charles Barkley and the Phoenix Suns. The Bulls had taken both games in Phoenix to open the series but the Suns got themselves back into it with a three-overtime win in Chicago in Game 3. Going into Game 4, the Bulls needed Jordan take over and carry them to a win over the revitalized Suns. As he typically did, Jordan did just that, dropping 55 points and giving the Bulls a commanding 3-1 lead in the series.

I thought of that game last night when thinking about tonight's Game 4 of the Caps-Rangers series. I wrote in my playoff preview how Alex Ovechkin needed to be "The One" in this series. After getting back in the series in Game 3, tonight is the night where that has to happen. Ovie, who has been held goalless with four assists in the series, needs to take over and win a game by himself. He needs to strap the team on his back and carry the Caps to victory tonight.

Yes, his teammates will be vital in helping him do that, but if there's one guy who can dominate a series just by sheer force of will, it's Ovie. He's already tried to contribute in other ways, using his 'mates, getting under the skin of the Rangers through the media and his appearance at Rangers practice before Game 3. But Ted Leonsis doesn't pay him to be Claude Lemieux, he pays him to score goals. He pays him to dominate. And tonight's the night where he needs to do it. In a must-win game, on the road, in front of a fire up Madison Square Garden.

Ovie, you got the press clippings, you got the ESPN pieces, you got the notoriety. Now, you have to put together a signature playoff game. As John Cena would say, "Your time is up, my time is now/You can't see me, my time is now."

"I will break them Hangar"

Here's the aforementioned ESPN piece from Tuesday night's edition of "E:60." I will also post a link to this great Puck Daddy piece on the clip.

Caps 4 Rangers 0 (Rangers lead series 2-1)

Ok, now that was more like it. The Caps played their best game in a month at a time when they needed it the most. Going down 3-0 would have signaled curtains but the Caps never let the Rangers sniff a commanding lead in the series by scoring early, playing excellent defense and getting good goaltending from Simeon Varlamov to get themselves back in this series.

This is the kind of effort the Caps need all the time. Clearly, it appears as if the key to beating the Rangers is to get a couple of quick ones past Henrik Lundqvist and making the Rangers play catch-up. That's easier said than done against King Henrik but this Ranger team does not appear equipped to come back from too many big defecits. The best part about tonight was that the Caps did not rest on getting a 2-0 1st period lead. They kept attacking New York, hemming them in their own zone for long stretches. They played with desperation, yet didn't press, something they struggled with in Washington, particularly in Game 2. Now, the matter is: Can they do this 3 more times? If they do, the Caps win this series. If the Caps bring anything less than what they did tonight, the Rangers could steal this thing yet.

Notes From The Hangar:

- Simeon Varlamov was very, very solid tonight. He made the saves when he had to, something Jose Theodore couldn't do. The team did a solid job of building a coccoon in front of him and limiting the quality looks the Rangers had. I wouldn't go so far as to say a star is born, but Varly was unphased by playing in a hostile Madison Square Garden, by Sean Avery's antics and by the 33 shots the Rangers put on. Dude is as cool as ice, at 20 years old no less, his rebound control is superb and his athleticism is off the charts.

- I thought John Erskine was the Caps best defenceman tonight. He played with his usual snarl but under control and he baited Avery into some stupid penalties. Erskine initiated but didn't retaliate.

- At the same time, I thought Mike Green was a weak link. Greener looked like he had Flubber on his stick the thing was bouncing off it so much. The guy was an adventure out there, especially in the 1st and 2nd periods.

- Alex Ovechkin was going like a madman tonight. Even more than usual. But unlike the two games in Washington, he didn't try to force plays. If he was the Tasmanian Devil in games 1&2, Ovie was controlled chaos tonight. His pass on Alex Semin's 2nd goal was a thing of beauty.

- I've said it before and I'll say it again, Brooks Laich is the perfect playoff player. That goal he got tonight was exactly what he needs to do in this series: get traffic in front of Lundqvist and bang in rebounds.

- The Caps had three lovely bing-bangers (one-timers into open nets) tonight. Both of Semin's goals and Tom Poti's goal were perfect passing plays.

- How awesome was Backstrom's pass on Poti's goal? Does that kid have eyes in the back of his head or what?

- Donald Brashear was a welcome addition back in the Caps lineup tonight. The Rangers didn't engage in much chicanery tonight knowing they'd have to answer to somebody.

- And now that I've mentioned the word chicanery, allow me to discuss Sean Avery's night. Games 1 & 2 showed what Mr. Sloppy Seconds can bring to the Rangers: physicality, agitating and creating mayhem in front of a goalie. Tonight showed how the diminutive, starlet-dating winger can kill your club. Avery spent almost 10 minutes in the box and none of those penalties were of the smart variety. Let's see, he punched Erskine in the face in full view of the ref, he ran Varlamov to earn an interference call, took another interference call trying to start something with Nicklas Backstrom, took a whack at Varly and Erskine in full view of the ref to get another roughing call and, finally, an early exit from the game. The Caps power play didn't punish Avery for all his sins but you could tell he was testing the limits of John Tortorella's patience. I'm surprised he didn't staple Avery's ass to the bench after that punch on Erskine. The funniest part, at least from a Caps fan's perspective, was watching Avery slink away the minute Brashear growled at him. Little man didn't feel like playing so rough then, did he?

And for the first time this series, I actually feel like posting the highlights from NHL.com.


So, one win in the books. Let's make it another on Wednesday night eh? Until then, let's call this one more...for the good guys.

Rangers 1 Capitals 0 (Rangers lead series 2-0)

The Harvester of Sorrow was in the building today. Henrik Lundqvist just stole another game and maybe this series from the Capitals who look like a very frustrated hockey team. King Henrik made 35 saves, including 16 in the 3rd period. Can't say the Caps didn't have chances in this one. But they missed open nets, they shot it high, they hit Lundqvist in the chest, they put it in the shin pads of Rangers defenders, in short, the Caps shot the puck everywhere but in the Rangers net. The New Yorkers had 29 blocked shots. 29! And not all of them on purpose, some of them the Caps shooters just put it right into their pads. The Rangers managed to get a 1-0 lead and then sat back and crowded the middle of the ice for the next 2 1/2 periods. When the Caps would get some sustained pressure, which was often in the second half of the 1st period and all of the 3rd, the Rangers would just dump it down ice and make the Caps skate 200 feet.

In some ways, today's loss was more disheartening than Game 1's. There was no Jeff Schultz or Jose Theodore to blame. The Caps played how they needed to play to win this game. But every time they would get close, Lundqvist would make a big save or the Rangers would get back and lift the sticks of Caps getting ready to shoot or they would block a shot. By the 2nd period you could see frustration start to set in on the Washington side. It was apparent especially in the body language of the Caps two best players, Mike Green and Alex Ovechkin. I've never seen Greener throw so many lazy passes around the ice and I've never seen more negative body language from Ovie. Alex Semin showed his frustration by cross-checking Ryan Callahan in the face. It just looks like a defeated hockey team right now. I don't doubt they want it, but when you see the arms get thrown in the air and the shaking of heads, its a very bad sign.

The Rangers have turned this into exactly the kind of series they want. In a nutshell, they've turned back the clock to Dead Puck Era. They're whole game plan came out today. Take advantage of a Caps defensive letdown (in this case Viktor Kozlov was the guilty party), get up 1-0 and then sag back and let Lundqvist do his thing.

The big news before the game was Simeon Varlamov getting the start in net over Jose Theodore and the kid acquitted himself well. As has been custom in Varlamov's starts, the Caps D was very cognizant of protecting their young goalie. The one goal he let in was a no-chancer by Callahan on a 2-on-1. Then again, there were so many long stretches where the Caps had the Rangers pinned back in their own end that we really didn't get to see the kid make too many big saves. I think he's warranted the start in Game 3 but we'll see what Bruce Boudreau decides to do. He threw everybody off by picking Varlamov today and the kid didn't do anything to lose the job, so he's likely the man until further notice.

Now, there's two ways to look at Game 3 on Monday in Madison Square Garden.
1) We're fucked.
2) The Caps are able to regain focus by going on the road, like they did after losing several home games in March and come back to take both games in New York.

I'm hoping its option 2 but right now, things don't look good. Lundqvist is in a groove and the Ranger defense is in the Caps' heads. I do believe its about time to press the panic button.

So, it's a must win game on Monday night in the World's Most Famous Arena. it's a nice day today so I think I will take a trip to the beach to forget about this one. Until then, let's say good night to da bad guys...

OK, Now That We've Had Time To Reflect...

When it comes to the reaction after the Capitals Game 1 loss to the New York Rangers, I am reminded of this passage from the movie "Ghostbusters"

Dr. Peter Venkman: This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.
Mayor: What do you mean, "biblical"?
Dr Ray Stantz: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath of God type stuff.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Exactly.
Dr Ray Stantz: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!
Dr. Egon Spengler: Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes...
Winston Zeddemore: The dead rising from the grave!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!


I mean, I thought I was a bit over-the-top in my reaction but the Caps blog-o-sphere was abuzz with "Theo On Thin Ice" stories. After one game you have Stan Fischler (for those who haven't heard of him, think Clint Eastwood in "Gran Torino" but as a hockey writer) calling the Caps a paper tiger, Alex Ovechkin not worth his press clippings and hinting at a Ranger sweep. Of course, as predicted, much of the blame for the Game 1 loss is falling on Jose Theodore. As explained here, Theo is in the ultimate no-win situation. And as proved, after one game, the critics are flogging Theodore relentlessly. Imagine if he loses 3 more? Personally, I didn't think he was as awful as people said he was. He wasn't good but he wasn't Hardy Astrom either. Theo's play backed Bruce Boudreau into a corner and judging by Gabby's comments, he gave some thought to putting Simeon Varlamov in for Game 2. While it appears that Theo will get the start in Game 2, I get the sense Boudreau feels like he's got an impossible problem with 4 possible outcomes, two of which are bad.
1) You start Theo again, he plays much better and you win. Best case scenario.
2) You start Theo in Game 2, he bombs again and you go to Madison Square Garden down 2-0 in games. Technically, you're not dead, but the Doc is filling out the paperwork to have the feeding tube pulled.
3) You gamble and start Varlamov, he plays well and the team wins.
4) You start Varlamov, a 20-year-old rookie with exactly 5 games of NHL experience, he plays poorly and the Caps lose. Not only are you risking turning the kid into a basket case (ala Carey Price) but if he doesn't do well, who's next? Michal Neuvirth? Brett Leonhardt? Pete Peeters?

No, giving Theo the nod one more time is probably better than throwing Varlamov into the fire this early. Theo has a history of bouncing back, so you give him the chance and if he fails you give the kid a shot. The good news is, there might be no Jeff Schultz (bruised ego) for the next game!

So let's relax a little Caps fans. The Rangers still have to win four games. So far, they've won one. Wasn't it us Caps fans just last year who had visions of a sweep dancing through our heads after a rousing Game 1 win? It's one game, not a series.Make, no mistake though, the vultures are watching in a now must-win Game 2.

Rangers 4 Caps 3 (Rangers lead series 1-0)

I often tell myself to not blog angry. But fuck it, I'm blogging angry.

Maybe the omens were there that this was going to be an unusual night. It has been raining, cold and windy here on the East Coast for about 24 hours. It's some of the most miserable weather I've ever encountered in my 30 years on this planet. About 7 minutes into tonight's Game 1 my cable went out and I was forced to go to the Grotto Grand Slam sports bar, surrounded by Flyers and Penguins fans. I don't know exactly what hell is, but all they needed to do is wave some Terrible Towels and play "My Heart Will Go On" and it couldn't be much worse.

And then there was the game. Like a wrestling heel winning a match with his foot on the ropes, the Rangers stole a game they had no business winning. The Caps pretty much outplayed them in every facet 5-on-5. But the Rangers got 3 perfect snipes and one goal that was complete B.S. in every way. Scott Gomez came down the ice 2-on-2 with Sean Avery. The two Rangers criss-crossed and that jerk Avery stuck his leg out and tripped Mike Green, giving Gomez a free run at Jose Theodore. Of all the calls the refs made tonight, HOW IN THE FUCKING WORLD DID THEY MISS THAT!!!! Avery couldn't have been less discreet about it if he tried. He might as well have waved a sign that said "Hi, here's some interference!!" And yet no call. Theo compounded things by letting in a weak shot but still, that interference was an obvious call that has to be made. This being the Washington Capitals, whose playoff misfortune I documented earlier in the day, of course it ended up being the difference. OF FUCKING COURSE!

Random Notes:

- Being a hockey player myself, I know the pros are much better than I could ever hope to be. These guys have skill and speed that mere mortals could only dream of. That said, Jeff Schultz sucks. S-U-C-K-S sucks sucks sucks. The guy is soft, he can't score and he can't move the puck well. Other than that he's great. Brandon Dubinsky made him look like an in-house player with that "How's she going?" move on the game-winning goal. Please, Bruce Boudreau, I'm begging you. Get this chump out of the lineup and replace him. With anybody. Doesn't matter if its Brian Pothier, Karl Alzner, Sami Lepisto, hell, you can drag Rod Langway out of the stands. Anybody but Schultz.

- To give the devil his due, Rangers goalie Henrik Lundqvist was as good as his team needed him to be. He didn't flinch in the face of a hurricane of Caps shots in the 1st and 3rd periods.

- The Rangers found the spot on Theo and it was top shelf. Other than the Gomez goal, all three New York tallies were upstairs over the glove hand. Not good.

- The loss was a waste of an inspired effort from Alex Ovechkin. He was all over the place tonight.

- The Caps had some lovely hits in this game. Mike Green's shoulder check on Fredrik Sjostrom was a beauty. That was "Get In The Weight Room!" quality.

- Too many fucking penalties. What else is new?

- Avery's trying, with his trip on Green and whack at Theodore late in the 3rd, but he has a long way to go before I hate him as much as Scottie Upshall, Hines Ward or Ulf Samuelsson. Give him time though.

So that's it for this piece of shit game. Good riddance. Gotta shore up the D, stay out of the box, keep the Rangers going to the box and keep up the energy 5-on-5 in Game 2 on Saturday. Until then, say good night to da fuckin' bad guys.

Caps Playoff Education (Through Metallica)

Tonight, the Washington Capitals will open Game 1 of their 1st round playoff series against the New York Rangers. I figured I would do a preview, but one struggles with how to do one different than everybody else. After all, how can I do it better than Puck Daddy, Peerless or Japer's. I thought about discussing the Caps playoff chances through movie quotes, but Bill Simmons already cornered the market on that gimmick. Then it hit me, I love hockey and I love Metallica? Why not combined the two? And since one of my favorite Metallica albums is 1988's "...And Justice For All" why not use that to preview the Caps chances.

Just as a little background, "...And Justice For All" is probably the angriest, most progressive and most political album Metallica ever did. With multiple time changes, intricate guitar solos and lengthy song structures (the shortest track is 5 minutes long) "...And Justice For All" was Metallica pushing the limits of thrash metal to the most extreme. The arrangements here were so complicated, the band would soon completely change its approach because the tracks were so difficult to pull off live. The lyrics might be the angriest that James Hetfield has ever written, partly inspired by the death of bassist Cliff Burton in 1986. The album's concept is a broken justice system, but it also contains themes of insanity, paranoia, war and corruption. And on top of all that, it flat out kicks ass.

So, here now for your amusement is my useless opinion about the Caps-Rangers series, broken down under each track from "...And Justice For All." I'll put down the song title, followed by a player, place or things related to this series. Enjoy.

1) "Blackened" - Expectations

The first track on "...And Justice For All" starts off as Metallica albums did back in the day, with a dose of classical guitar before exploding into a full-on metal assualt. The song seems to be about the apocalypse and that ties in with what will happen shall the Caps fail to get out of the first round this year. A Southeast Division title and a playoff berth are no longer satisfactory. Fans have their eyes on a larger prize and expectations for this team are very high. Can the Caps handle having external pressure to win for really the first time?

For the Rangers, there's a different kind of pressure, that of playing in New York. But if there is one thing working in their favor, it's that most experts do not expect them to win this series. Knowing the world doesn't expect much of you can help ease the pressure. Since nobody outside New York thinks they can win, the Rangers can relax and just play hockey. It's up to the Caps, who have the better team talent-wise, to go out and crush any thoughts the Rangers may have about winning this series. If they let the Rangers steal a game or two early, it could be trouble.

Relevant lyric:
"Blackened is the end/Winter it will send/Throwing all you see/Into obscurity"

2) "...And Justice For All" - Caps power play

One of the longest and most complex songs on the record, the title track is a scathing indictment of the justice system. On the other hand, the Caps power play will be a scathing indictment of the Rangers discipline, should the New Yorkers decide to have a parade to the penalty box. The Caps had the league's 2nd-ranked power play and when it's clicking, it can be scary good. The Caps can put four-world class talents on the ice at the same time: Alex Ovechkin, Mike Green, Alex Semin and Nicklas Backstrom. Throw in the power game of Brooks Laich in front of the net and the Caps have a combination of passing, grit and skill that can score at will.

If there's one thing the Rangers can exploit however, it's the all-offense, all-the-time approach of Green and Ovechkin, who play the point on the power play. The Caps gave up a lot of shorthanded goals this year because Ovie and Green were up ice all the time, leading to easy breakaways and odd-man rushes. Last year, Caps Coach Bruce Boudreau had to change things up against Philadelphia, putting Ovechkin down low and the more defensively-responsible Sergei Fedorov at the point because Flyer penalty killers were exploiting the Caps aggressiveness.

Relevant lyric: "The ultimate in vanity/Exploiting their supremacy/I can't believe the things you say/I can't believe/I can't believe the price you pay/Nothing can save you"

3)"Eye Of The Beholder" - Caps secondary scoring

Another scathing lyrical track, this one about censorship. The lyrics take the view of the oppressor, telling his subject that he can have his freedom of choice, but only if he does it the way he's told. Censorship is also a relevant topic when it comes to the Caps secondary scoring. Pretty much anybody not named Ovechkin, Backstrom, Green, Semin and Laich, seemed to censor their goal-scoring for long stretches, especially in February and March.

Tomas Fleischmann looked like he was on his way to a 25-30 goal season over the course of the first 3 months, but he hit the wall big time in 2009, scoring only 4 goals since January. Eric Fehr looked like he was poised for a breakout at one point in 2009 but his scoring touch disappeared as quickly as it arrived. Fedorov will be there, he's always been a solid playoff performer. But what about Viktor Kozlov? He's yet to score a playoff goal in his 14-year career, only registering 6 assists in 21 career playoff games. That has to change, especially since he is likely going to be skating on Ovie and Backstrom's line. Anything the Caps get from Michael Nylander, Professor Matt Bradley, David Steckel and the returning Donald Brashear should be considered gravy. No matter who it is, the Caps need more than 5 guys to do the scoring in order to go where they want to go.

Relevant lyric: "Do you take what I take?/Endurance is the word/Moving back instead of forward seems to me absurd"

4) "One" - Alex Ovechkin

The most famous song off "...And Justice For All" is a grim ballad about a soldier who has lost his arms, legs, sight, speech and hearing. It was based off the 1938 Dalton Trumbo novel "Johnny Got His Gun" and has maybe the most well-known kick-drum solo in the history of music. That would seem to have little to do with hockey but the title can refer to what Ovie needs to be in this series. Like Neo, Ovechkin has to be "The One."

He's got the individual honors, he's got the adulation, now it's time for the league's best player to step up and carry his team on a long playoff run. Ovie needs a signature playoff moment and what better stage to start on than The Big Apple? Yes, hockey is the most team-oriented of games but the Caps happen to have the one player on Earth who can win a game by himself. The time is now.

Relevant lyric: "Now the world is gone I'm just one/Oh God, help me/Hold my breath as I wish for death/Oh, please God, wake me"

5) "The Shortest Straw" - Sean Avery

One of the more lyrically complex songs on "...And Justice For All," "The Shortest Straw" seems to deal with injustice on its surface. It could also be about a failed revolution. The lyrics do deal with the subject of infamy and there may not be a more infamous player in the NHL than Meester Sean AAAAAAvery ($10 if you can guess the movie that reference comes from. Just say the name like that but slowly.)


All the national pundits are wondering what Avery might do in this series. After all, the last time he was in the playoffs, he inspired his own rule. To his credit, Boudreau says the Caps plan is to ignore Avery. But let's see how long that lasts the minute Avery cheapshots someone, dives or runs away from a fight. Avery is capable of doing all three of those things on a shift. If the Caps are able to ignore Avery's antics, it will go a long way towards rendering him ineffective, even a liability to the Rangers if he is taking long sabbaticals in the penalty box.

Relevant Lyric: "Shortest straw/Challenge liberty/Downed by law/Live in infamy/Rub you raw"

6) "Harvester Of Sorrow" - Henrik Lundqvist

The simplest song on "...And Justice For All" is also one of its most intense and the title is what King Henrik could be for the Caps if he's on his game.

The Rangers netminder is the kind of goalie who can steal a series and the Caps will need to get to him early and often if they want to win. At the same time, if the Rangers are going to win this series, they need Lundqvist to be otherworldly in goal. On paper, the Rangers have the better 'tender but the Caps have the better team overall. Not to sound like Dan Fouts or Tim McCarver but whoever wins out in that battle will take the series.

Relevant Lyric: "Anger/Misery/You'll suffer unto me/Harvester of sorrow/Language of the mad"

7) "The Frayed Ends Of Sanity" - Jose Theodore

This song is about paranoia and no player on the Caps roster inspires as much paranoia as Theo. All year, the mainstream media has picked on the Caps goalie as the weak link. Now he has the chance to prove that the Caps can win with him in goal. The one thing Theo has going for him is that he's never lost a first round series as a starting goaltender. The bad news is that he's in a no-win situation in this series. If he and the Caps win, they were supposed to win. If the Caps lose, much of the blame is going to fall on the goaltender and all the media talking heads are going to say things like "The Caps would be Cup contenders if they had a better goalie." The fans calling for Simeon Varlamov to assume the starting role will get a lot louder if Theo fails to get the Caps out of Round 1.

Relevant Lyric: "Loss of interest, question, wonder/Waves of fear they pull me under"

8) "To Live Is To Die" - Mike Green and the Caps D

The final song written by Cliff Burton, this nearly 10-minute instrumental (with a brief speaking passage) was also the last instrumental Metallica would do until "Suicide And Redemption" from last year's "Death Magnetic." The final lines of the song are written on a memorial stone for Burton in Sweden, where he died while the band was on tour. In the context of the Caps, the title can also refer to Mike Green and his gambling style of play, as well as the defense corps as a whole.

With Greener, you're going to get his offense. He's the best D-man in the league as far as scoring goals and jumping into the play. But his go-for-broke style can also lead to odd-man rushes for the other team, as witnessed in the season finale against Florida. You don't want to see Green alter the style of play that has made him a Norris Trophy candidate, but in the playoffs, you would like to see him be more cognizant of his own end. Then again, Greener is the least of the question marks surrounding this defense.

Is Brian Pothier ready for the rigors of the postseason?

Which Shaone Morrisonn will show up? The consistent force from last season or the inconsistent defender from this season?

Is Tom Poti healthy?

Are Milan Jurcina and John Erskine too slow?

Is Jeff Schultz too soft?

The answers to these questions will go a long way towards whether the Caps live or die in these playoffs.

Relevant Lyric: "Cannot the kingdom of salvation/Take me home"

9) "Dyers Eve" - The Caps playoff history

The most personal song on the album, about James Hetfield's ultra-religious upbringing in Downey, Ca., "Dyers Eve" can also sum up the angst that builds up in Caps fans around this time. After all, this club's playoff history is as gory as an Eli Roth film. The list of collapses, chokes and heartbreak is longer than "War And Peace" Let's see, there was the Easter Epic in 1986. Ron Hextall's second goal in 1989. Blowing a 3-1 lead to Pittsburgh in 1992. Dale Hunter's hit on Pierre Turgeon in 1993. Petr Nedved in four overtimes in 1996. Jason Doig's too-many-men on the ice penalty in 2003 that cost them a three overtime game against Tampa Bay. Joffrey Lupul last year. It's ugly.

Of course, much of the team's history changed on this day:

This Caps team seems different. It's a club poised for a breakthrough. The door is open. Now they have to walk through it.

Relevant Lyric: "Dear mother/Dear father/You've clipped my wings before I've learned to fly/Unspoiled/Unspoken/I've outgrown that fucking lullaby"

The Hangar's Call: Caps in 6

Panthers 7 Caps 4

Well, the 2008-09 Washington Capitals regular season began with a 7-4 stinkbomb on the road against a Southeast Division opponent, why shouldn't it end that way? I guess the good news is that nobody died or got hurt. If nothing else, the Caps are good at keeping the fanbase on their toes.

All coach Bruce Boudreau was looking for in this game was to head into the playoffs on a high note. Preferably with a strong defensive effort in front of Jose Theodore. It wasn't too much to ask against the Florida Panthers, who were just eliminated from playoff contention. The game was meaningless. Plus, the Caps came into this same arena, against this same team a month ago and held them to 0 shots in the 3rd period. Shouldn't be too hard, right?

Umm, yeah. The Caps turned in one of the worst defensive efforts they have put on this year. It was a litany of bad pinches, poor puck-moving and too many odd-man rushes. The Caps D had no answer for Florida's David Booth, who racked up two goals and three assists. Even though he gave up 6 goals, Theo was mostly hung out to dry, facing a lot of two-on-ones, tipped shots and breakaways. Although he's played at a Norris Trophy level all season, Mike Green was maybe the worst offender. He got burned up ince on bad pinches for a breakaway goal by Radek Dvorak (who skated within 3 feet of Theodore and took a slapshot. My old teammate Louie would be proud) and a 2-on-1 goal by Booth. Greener's not going to want to send this one in on the Norris resume tape.

Besides that, the Caps as a team were outskated and outworked by the Panthers. They were fortunate to be in this one to begin with, and when Alex Ovechkin scored #56 to tie the game at 4 late in the 3rd period, it looked like the Caps may escape. But as was the case all night, the mental focus wasn't there and the Panthers scored two goals in 8 seconds (both on odd-man rushes) to end any hope for Washington. Just a very poor effort all around and not the way you want to go into the playoffs.

The only thing we did find out last night is who the Caps will be facing in the 1st round. And your winner is: the New York Rangers. Game 1 will mark the first time in almost a month the Caps have faced a playoff team. I'll have a little preview up here early next week but needless to say, the A-game is going to be needed. A first round exit is no longer acceptable. Now we're going to see if this team is the bunch that went 4-1 against NHL heavy hitters Boston and Detroit, or the team that got beat 4-1 at home by the 2nd worst team in the NHL.

Here's last night's horrorshow as documented by NHL.com.


So, it's on to the Stanley Cup playoffs and a date with the boys from Gotham City. But for one last time in the regular season, let's say good night to da bad guys.

Today's Ric Flair Words Of Wisdom

Since the Caps are heading into the playoffs (tonight is the final regular season game) here's some words of advice from Slick Ric as the boys in red chase the Stanley Cup.

"'Cause if you're not carrying the big gold, you're second best no matter what you tell yourself, WOOOO!"

Arrivederci, Officer Koharski

One note I did not make in my Caps recap from last night was that it was the last game for referee Don Koharski. Even non-hockey fans will probably recognize the name Koharski, which really is not good if you're a referee. I can't really say things any better than OFB did in this post from a while back but for what it's worth (not much) I will share three Koharski memories of my own.

1) His infamous blowup with then-New Jersey Devils coach Jim Schoenfeld in the 1988 Wales Conference Finals. This included the line that immortalized Koharski forever, delivered by Schoenfeld, "Have another donut you fat pig!"


2) I give Mike Myers a pass for making "The Love Guru" for one reason: making the ultimate insider hockey reference in a mainstream movie when he gave a donut-eating cop the name Officer Koharski in "Wayne's World." It was like a subliminal message that only hockey fans could pick up. When I watch "Wayne's World" now (the movie is horribly dated these days), I laugh hardest at two parts: the Officer Koharski references and Ed O' Neill's cameo...


3) My ultimate memory of Koharski? This line brawl between the Caps and Flyers in 1990.

While 5 separate fights are going on, Koharski is standing over the goal and taking notes (at about 2:10 of the clip). He's like a hockey Doestoevsky here. That may be the ever lasting memory of Koharski. Standing there, oblivious to the chaos his shoddy officiating has unleashed. Arrivederci, auf wiedershien and goodbye Officer Koharski.

Caps 4 Lightning 2

Today was Mission Accomplished Part 2 as the Caps locked up the #2 seed in the Stanley Cup playoffs via a 4-2 win against the Tampa Bay Lightning. The Caps will draw either the Montreal Canadiens or the New York Rangers in the first round. New York would have the tiebreaker based on wins.

As for tonight's game, well, there was maybe about 15 minutes of it that could be considered a hockey game. Tampa Bay came storming out of the gate early on, getting a goal 30 seconds in by Steven Stamkos and keeping the heat on the Caps for the next 5 minutes. But the Caps slowly asserted control and the Bolts helped them out by giving the Caps power play a 2-man advantage, leading to Brooks Laich's tying goal. From there on, the Lightning would get a few chances but the Caps controlled the action. After two quick second period goals by Laich and David Steckel, the Bolts spent the rest of the 2nd and most of the third looking like they were ready to make golf reservations, chase tail at a Tampa bar, get a suntan at the beach,anything but keep playing hockey. I suppose I don't blame them, it's been a long, tough year. Their 2nd goal, by former Cap Matt Pettinger, was almost by accident but the Bolts did collectively seem to say, "Fuck it, we can play for another 8 minutes." But the Caps once again reasserted command of the game, Mike Green got an open netter after skating through some Swiss cheese defense and the Caps locked up that #2 seed.

Hangar Observations:

- While most of this game had the feel of a glorified scrimmage, one thing I did like was that after the Lightning got back to within one in the third, the Caps didn't panic and methodically kept playing their game. Tampa is a mess, actually, let's just come out and say they suck, but you do like to see short memories like that in the playoffs.

- I didn't like Bruce Boudreau double-shifting Alex Ovechkin in the 3rd period. I know he was trying to help Ovie get that scoring title, but you don't want to get your star hurt in a game like that. Besides, since there was a rash of penalties early in the game, why not get Keith Aucoin, Steckel and Professor Matt Bradley some extra ice time?

- Professor Matt looked like Cam Neely or Brendan Shanahan on that setup to Steckel's goal.

- Laich's second goal was what my teammate Jeff Hudson would call a "snipe."

- While the Lightning have sucked this year, Stamkos has a very bright future.

- Still don't like that Jeff Schultz-Milan Jurcina defence pairing. I know that will change when Tom Poti comes back, but still, they scare the crap out of me back there.

Here now are the highlights from NHL.com


So that's it for this game. All the Eastern Conference playoff spots have been locked up, so Saturday's game with Florida will be meaningless. Let's hope the Caps can get out of there without any injuries and be ready to go for the playoffs. Until the next time, let's call this one more...for the good guys.

Caps 4 Thrashers 2

It was a little ragged a times (what else is new?) but the Washington Capitals are now a win or a New Jersey loss from locking up the #2 seed in the Eastern Conference after a 4-2 win over the Atlanta Thrashers.

The Caps looked like they were going to turn this one into a laugher early on, as they picked up right where they left off in the 3rd period of Sunday's game against the Thrash. But in the 2nd period, they reverted back to the inconsistent group they were in March before turning up the defensive intensity again in the 3rd. Thanks to the Toronto Maple Leafs, who beat New Jersey 4-1 tonight, the Caps are 4 points up on the Devils with 2 games to play.

The importance of that 2nd seed cannot be overstated. It makes the difference between facing a team like Montreal, who just lost their two top defenceman, or facing a red-hot team like Carolina or Pittsburgh. As a Caps fan, getting that #2 seed would work out beautifully. Not only would they get to face a weaker opponent like Montreal, New York Rangers or Florida (although Pittsburgh could concievably fall to the 7 seed) but it would mean two of the following four tough rivals would be out in a 2nd round matchup: Pittsbugh, Philly, Carolina and New Jersey. Personally, I'd love to see Pittsburgh and Philly knock each other out and then New Jersey and Carolina play a tough, seven game series.

Hangar Observations:

- Simeon Varlamov was the player of the game tonight. He kept the Caps in this game in the 2nd period when it looked like the Thrash had the Caps on their heels. The kid may not be there yet, but its clear to see he has a very bright future in this league. His athleticism and rebound control are better than Jose Theodore's. He made a great save on Atlanta sniper Ilya Kovalchuk on a 2 on 1 look easy. The only thing Varly lacks Theo's experience and puck-handling ability. I'm sure many Caps fans will see an effort like tonight and want to give the kid the nod over Theo. But unless Theo bombs, there's no reason to risk the kid's confidence and turning Varly into a basket case like Carey Price in Montreal.

- After Varly, I'd say Nicklas Backstrom was the next best player on the ice. The pass that led to Viktor Kozlov's goal was a thing of beauty and splitting him up from Alex Ovechkin helps open up the secondary scoring opportunities for others. Backstrom is quickly becoming a favorite of mine. You can always rely on him and his game is so understated, you don't notice that he's a top-10 scorer in this league. Plus, the weakest part of his game, faceoffs, is rapidly improving.

- Craig Laughlin said it best on Tomas Fleischmann's goal: "Just put it on the net and anything can happen." Flash did that and the puck went in off Atlanta's Marty Reasoner for the Caps first goal. With goals in two straight games, let's hope Flash is finally back on track. Somebody else is going to need to score in the playoffs.

- I'm glad to not have to see Kovalchuk until next year. He put a move on Jeff Schultz that just undressed the Sarge. Kovalchuk is like Ovechkin-lite, anytime he touches the puck, something can happen. If Kovy played in New York, Toronto, Chicago or L.A., he'd be doing silly car commercials, just like Ovie. If Gary Bettman had any sense, he'd get this guy out of the hockey wasteland that is Atlanta.

- For once, it was nice to see the Caps make a quick response to another team's goal. After Rich Peverley scored to tie the game for Atlanta, Kozzy and Backstrom teamed up 30 seconds later to take the lead back.

- As a hockey player myself, I'm often very jealous of the pros. These guys can do some things that are just unbelievable. And if I were to want one thing that a pro hockey player has, I would give my right arm to have Alex Semin's stickhandling ability. That curl-and-drag move of his is lethal.

- Dirty Al Koken was filling in for Joe B. on the play-by-play and it was nice to see Dirty Al with an homage to his old broadcast partner Mike Fornes with his "Shot...and a GOAL!" call. Not quite as emphatic as Mike used to do but I'll applaud the effort.

- Mike Green's penalty for playing the puck with a broken stick might be one of the dumbest plays I've seen a pro hockey player make.

- The Caps really took command of this game after getting an insurance goal by Sergei Fedorov in the 3rd. The defense clearly stepped things up and suffocated the Thrashers offense. That killer instinct is also going to be needed in the playoffs.

With that, here's the highlights from NHL.com


So, only two more games left in the regular season before the most wonderful time of the year: playoff time. But for now, let's call this one more...for the good guys.

Caps 6 Thrashers 4

Someone needs to make a tape of the 3rd period of today's game and play it before every Caps game from here on in. Whoever shows that tape needs to tell the team, "THAT is what you guys can do if you consistently bring it."

The Thrashers had no answer for the Caps in the 3rd period, as the boys in red seemed to come in waves, one right after another. They made Atlanta's defense look foolish, forcing a myriad of bad turnovers. Of course, the next question is, "Why can't they do that for 60 minutes?"

Third period aside, it was yet another listless effort through two. If my old coach Marc Felizzi was coaching this team he would be freaking out behind the bench telling the players "NO BLIND PASSES UP THE MIDDLE!!!!" Sergei Fedorov did it against Buffalo on Friday and it cost the Caps an extra point. Alex Ovechkin did it today and it cost them a goal. Just inexcusable stuff. These guys have been taught since Mites not to throw blind passes up the middle and they've done it two games in a row. As much heat as Jose Theodore takes in the clueless mainstream media, without Theo in the first period, the Caps might have been on their way to another stinkbomb against Atlanta.

But, oh that 3rd period. It truly is a pleasure to watch this team when they play like that. When they work and forecheck the crap out of the opposition, they are impossible to stop. The team that skated the 3rd period could win the Stanley Cup. The team that skated the first 40 minutes could get swept in the first round. That's the freakin' tightrope this Caps team walks and until they figure out a way to bring that 3rd period for 60 minutes, it's going to be a turbulent ride through the playoffs.

The Hangar's observations:

- Keith Aucoin was the best player on the ice today. He had a goal and an assist and you could see coach Bruce Boudreau get more confidence in him as this game rolled along. If Aucoin isn't taking a regular shift in the playoffs, well, somebody's got to lay off the peyote. Along with Brooks Laich and Dave Steckel, Aucoin is just the sort of guy who the Caps are going to need.

- Finally, Tomas Fleischmann scored a goal, temporarily ending his own personal nightmare of a 2009.

- The goal Colby Armstrong scored, Atlanta's first, is all on Tom Poti. He's got to step up and meet Armstrong a lot higher than the top of the slot. By that point, you're at the mercy of the shooter at the NHL level.

- I don't like that Milan Jurcina-Jeff Schultz defense pairing. They would get murdered in a 7-game series, especially against a speedy team like Montreal or Carolina. I know Brian Pothier was scratched to make room for Juice, but I'd rather see Pothier, Mike Green and Poti as at least half the defense in the playoffs. then have some combination of Schultz, John Erskine, Jurcina and Shaone Morrisonn.

- How did the Caps not score on that first period power play when TWO Thrashers broke their sticks?

- Speaking of the PP, it wasn't the best of days for the NHL's 2nd ranked unit. They gave up a shorthanded goal in the 2nd after Ovie's turnover (Repeat: NO BLIND PASSES OVER THE MIDDLE!) Too much Danglefest 2009 for the first few chances. But things did turn around when Aucoin was put out there. He slammed home a great feed from Ovie for his PP marker and in the 3rd, the Caps put on a puck possession clinic, even though they didn't score.

- Since the Caps are playing the Thrash again on Tuesday night, here's a tip: Do NOT let Ilya Kovalchuk have room. If he gets any space, he's deadly.

- I liked the combination of Eric Fehr, Michael Nylander and Brooks Laich. Nylander played a strong game, and got that 3rd period barrage rolling with his knucklepuck that eluded ATL goaltender Johan Hedberg. Fehr put the Caps ahead for good by going relentless towards the net. Fehr needs to take a page from my old teammate Derek Russ and don't venture more than 5 feet from the goal. Good things happen for him there.

- The Thrashers defense was brutal on Fehr's goal but they were worse on the next goal, a brilliant piece of tic-tac-toe passing between Aucoin, Fleischmann and Alex Semin. That goal was gorgeousness and gorgeousity made real (bet you won't find a "Clockwork Orange" reference like that on any other blog.) The passing and puck handling was great but the Thrash just looked clueless out there defensively. To the Caps credit, they FORCED Atlanta into that with hard work, quick puck movement and heavy forechecking. If they do that all the time they're going places (are you sensing a theme with this wrapup?)

- The Caps scored 6 goals today, none of them by guys named Ovechkin, Green or Backstrom. They're going to need that secondary scoring in the playoffs. Let's hope this game was just the beginning of more balance in the Caps lineup.

- Ovie did get two points today, drawing him closer to Pittsburgh's Evgeni Malkin for the league scoring title but this wasn't one of his better games. He had that bad giveaway on Jim Slater's shorthanded goal and seemed to give up a lot of good looks instead of trying to score goals. That's more like Nylander than Ovechkin.

- I praised Jose Theodore earlier this post, now I come to bury him. Jose- What the fuck were you thinking? He looked like he was trying to score a goal in Atlanta's empty net but whiffed and gave it right to Slava Kozlov. It was the best pass Kozlov's probably had all year.

Anyway, enough of my rambling, here's the highlights from NHL.com.


With this win, the Caps go back up two points on idle New Jersey for the 2nd seed in the Eastern Conference playoffs. As mentioned before, the team will make one more stop in Atlanta before closing out in Florida against Tampa Bay and the Panthers. So until then, let's call this one more...for the good guys.

Caps Under Construction - Part 4

OK, we're ready for our 4th and final installment of "Caps Under Construction." If you missed anything, scroll down or click here, here and here. You know the drill.

Now for Part 4:


:15 - The Caps are on the clock and GMGM is ready with the pick. Caps owner Ted Leonsis and GMGM inform Alex Ovechkin that he'll be announcing the pick. Ovie, rocking a Gallagher Brothers haircut, tries to get out of it, to no avail.

GMGM: "Gary Bettman wants you to talk."
Ovie: (not said) "Somebody got Bettman off Crosby's knob long enough for him to say that?"

1:36 - The Caps team gets ready to go up to make the pick but not before GMGM goes over Ovie's line "The Washington Capitals are happy to pick Nicklas Backstrom" more times than Stanley Kubrick made Shelley Duvall scream during the making of "The Shining." Say it with me, "The Washington Capitals are happy to pick Nicklas Backstrom." "The Washington Capitals are happy to pick Nicklas Backstrom."

2:09 - A smirking GMGM tells Chicago's table "We're gonna take The Swede." I would officially like to add that line to the "List Of Things I Wish I Could Say More Often," along with "Hands off the merchandise" and "Do you want me to use the Spanish accent?" "We're gonna take The Swede" could be used for so many things, like picking which girl your buddies are going to talk to at a bar or taking a dump.

2:36 - GMGM and Ovie step up to the mic to make the pick. Despite his English not being very good (at least not at that point), and clearly being nervous, Ovie delivers (as he always does).
Ovie: "Washeengton Capeetals are happy to peek, Neecklas Baaackstrom."

3:23 - TSN (the Canadian sports channel covering the draft) analyst Bob McKenzie says, "Alex Ovechkin is going to love playing with this guy." Little did we know.

4:12 - Dirty Al and GMGM do a little post-draft interview:
GMGM: "We think he's an elite playmaking centre." Did they have Backstrom scouted well or what?

5:13 - Dirty Al wraps things up from Stanley Park in Vancouver. Al looks like he's auditioning for "Lifestyles Of The Rich And Famous." And then perfectly, we see the statue of Lord Stanley, inferring the Backstrom pick is one more step to the Caps winning Stanley's trophy.

So what did we learn? Well, if the 2004 draft with Ovie and Mike Green laid the foundation, 2006 was the house on top as the Caps landed the Goose to Ovechkin's Maverick. We learned that NHL GMs are loose-lipped and socially awkward at the same time. And we have seen that even professionals Pull A Mason from time to time. Finally, we learned that when all else fails, just tell people, "We're gonna take The Swede."

Caps Under Construction - Part 3

OK, winding down the homestretch here. Again, if you need to be brought up to speed, here's Part 1 & 2 of this look back at the Capitals 2006 Draft. Scrolling down would be a lot faster though. Without any further ado, Part 3



:09 - It's Draft Day for GMGM and the staff heads down to Vancouver's GM Place for the day's festivities. I'm sure they will be hearing the cries of the carrots. Yes, the cries of the carrots because tomorrow is harvest day and for them it...is...the..holocaust.

:40 - Inexplicably GMGM has been TOLD by Penguins GM Ray Shero that Shero will be taking Jordan Staal #2. Does this happen in any other sport? Where GM's will tell each other who they will pick? This doesn't even happen in my fantasy football draft. Although that's mainly because most of my fellow GMs need about 5 beers to know who they will take. GMGM has also guessed that Chicago at #3 will take Jonathan Toews, so the Caps will get the man they want, Nicklas Backstrom at #4.

1:10 - The best part of the NHL Draft: Commissioner Gary Bettman taking the stage to a chorus of boos. Bettman, quick on his feet, comes back with "It's always good to be in Vancouver!"

1:45 - GMGM tells his head scout that when the Caps turn comes up, he's going to go over to Boston (who hold the #5 pick) and try to extract an extra pick out of them to move up to the Caps position.

2:07 - Moving ahead, St Louis takes Erik Johnson #1, Staal goes #2.

3:00 - Right in the middle of this, GMGM's son calls him to find out who the Caps are taking. GMGM sounds like he's ready to go "Shut up will ya, I'm trying to pick!" just like I do at my fantasy drafts.
GMGM: "I really like this guy, I think he's better than Staal." I'd say GMGM was right on the mark there.

3:40 - As he said he was going to do, GMGM goes over to Boston's table and makes his trade offer: flop the 4th pick for the 5th pick with Boston throwing in an additional pick for the Caps troubles. My only thought here was that GMGM was thinking either the Bruins would offer something big or to make the Bruins think the Caps would take Kessel. Boston's guy says thanks but no thanks.

4:09 - Toews goes to Chicago, putting the Caps on the clock. Hey, it's Ovie Time! GMGM informs Ovechkin that Swedish centre Nicklas Backstrom is their man. GMGM also tells Ovie that Backstrom is "The guy you ran into at the Worlds," which could mean that Ovie checked him really hard or to remind Alex that Backstrom was the guy who arranged for him to meet those 4 Swedish puck bunnies after the game.

4:31 - Just when that's all been arranged, Boston's guy comes over and wants to take GMGM up on his offer, flipping the 4th and 5th picks and giving the Caps the 37th pick. Boston wants Backstrom now. It's at this point that everybody starts referring to Backstrom as "The Swede," like he's "The Cooler" from "Road House." GMGM decides to Pull A Mason* and reject the deal but not before making Boston twist in the wind a little.

GMGM: "They want The Swede. So what do you want to do?"
Caps Head Scout: (mumbles something that can pretty much be interpreted as "Fuck No!")
GMGM: "I know, I'm just trying to make it look like we're doing something here."

See that's what I love about the NHL Draft over all the others. The team scouts, owners and GMs are all at tables together, so there's the opportunity for subterfuge like this.

GMGM to Scouting Guy: "Did I ever tell you you're looking marvelous. (not said) You know, when I go up to a woman the first thing I want to know is what her head would look like on a stick."
Scouting Guy: "You watched that movie, didn't you?"

5:58 - GMGM tells Boston's guy, "He's getting cold feet. He's going to take The Swede."

6:01 - Dirty Al Koken informs us that the Caps have their man. Gee, who could it be???????

*- "Pulling A Mason" is in reference to my buddy Mason who once in fantasy baseball proposed to make a trade with me: I'd send him outfielder Scott Podsednik in exchange for outfielder Andre Ethier. We had agreed to this trade but I told Mason to give me a couple days to put it together. Just like I said, a couple days later I send him the trade. He rejects it. Dude rejected the trade that he offered me.