Yankees 11 Orioles 2

I should have taken a picture of the graphic that said "Orioles 2-0 1st Place In AL East." It would have lasted longer. I suppose a game like today was bound to happen. The Orioles bats would fail to knock in runners in scoring position, the Yankees would pummel the inexperienced O's hurlers and the Evil Empire would set things in order.

The turning point in this game, as far as I'm concerned, was Aubrey Huff striking out against Yanks starter A.J. Burnett with the bases loaded. The O's had failed to take advantage of some chances in the first two games of this series, but today was different. You just knew this Yankees lineup was going to get theirs at some point. Despite the big missed chance by Huff, the O's were still in this thing until the 6th inning when the Yanks got a couple of hits, chased Simon after making it 4-2 and then took advantage of an error by Brian Bass to blow the game wide open, leading 7-2 after that 6th inning. Robinson Cano added a garbage 2-run homer to rack up some bonus fantasy stats. The horribly named Nick Swisher clobbered O's pitching something fierce with a 2-run homer and a 2-run double. Chris Ray got shelled again. Glad I took him over George Sherrill in my fantasy draft.

The toughest part about this game was Big Cash getting his first home run. I suppose it was bound to happen, but I could have handled this loss a lot better without seeing the big dollar sign hitting one out. I was also a bit disappointed Big Cash wasn't booed as vociforously as he was in the 1st two games. We're not gonna let him off that easy are we? Just because Colin "Schrutebag" Cowherd said something about it?
"Wanted: For crimes against sports talk radio"

Keep booing him. Here's what you can do: pretend Big Cash is Jeffrey Maier. That ought to work. Or, I can put his smirking, two-faced grin up on the screen again...

Is that not the face of a guy you want to boo? I know I do.

So, it's one loss. The beauty of baseball is that you can lose 80 games and still have a winning record. But losing to Big Cash and the Yankees still carries some sting. Don't take my word for it though, take the word of the former Chancellor of the German Empire Otto von Bismarck...

Otto: "Scheisse"

Orioles 7 Yankees 5 - Magic Number: 160

Konichiwa Koji Uehara! Welcome aboard, as the O's guaranteed themselves an opening series win over the dreaded New York Yankees.

The bullpen was shaky again, a reversal from last year, but the O's hit the crap out of the ball for a second straight game, causing Yanks starter Chien-Ming Wang to come up limp. Right off the bat, you could tell the Oriole hitters were still in the groove from opening day, getting three extra base-hits in the 1st inning, then chasing a flaccid Wang after 3 2/3 innings when Nick Markakis hit a bomb to put the home team up 7-1. Up 7-2 after 5, for some reason O's manager Dave Trembley pulled Koji and put in Matt Albers, who proceeded to make things interesting. Dennis Sarfate did the same, giving up a 2-run homer to Derek Jeter. Trembley's explanation after the game was that he's trying to limit Koji's pitch count early on. Not a bad strategy, but through two games, its clear the bullpen is a little slow out of the gate.

Still, it was a nice follow-up to the stellar opening day, and the O's have now put some panic into New York early on. They've bombed two former 20-game winners in a row. The crowd was smaller than opening day, but the O's fans were once again into things from beginning to end. Let's try to keep this support up all year.

And now, comes the part where I rip Mark Teixeria again. First, let me uphold the new Baltimore tradition...

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

If Big Cash thought the worst was over, he was dead wrong. Again, the crowd wasn't as big as on opening day, but they still let Big Cash have it everytime he stepped up to the plate. As if we needed more fuel to boo this goof, he provided some. If Big Cash was thinking he was going to quiet the boobirds by playing the "I always rooted for the Orioles. Except for when Don Mattingly came to town" card, he's sadly mistaken. Got news for ya Big Cash, the boos aren't going to stop. You got 8 more years of this. It's the price you pay for signing a contract with the Yankees for roughly the GDP of Namibia and talking out of both sides of your mouth. All he had to do was say, "I'm going wherever the best deal is," and no one would have cared. We would have been disappointed, sure, but we would have understood. But instead, he wants to have his cake and eat it too. He wanted the big money contract but he wants everybody to like him. Doesn't work that way, especially not in Baltmo, where slights are seldom forgiven. Like I said yesterday, Big Cash could have been the King of Baltimore but he chose to be just another hired gun in New York. I just look forward to the day four years from now when Big Cash is introduced at Oriole Park...and is still showered with boos while he makes a face that says "Why are they still booing me?" The thought is priceless.

So, its 2-0 for the O's on the young season. Big sports day for the Good Guys tomorrow: Caps can clinch the 2nd seed in the Eastern Conference and the O's can sweep the Yankees. Until then, in honor of our new Japanese pitcher, if you like an Orioles win, give me a Domo Arigato!

The Morning After

For one day at least, it is a glorious time to be a Baltimore Orioles fan. We just spanked the New York Yankees and their $200 million team on opening day. And our booing of Mark Teixeira is the talk of the baseball world.

Check it out, O's fans made:
Deadspin

D.C. Sports Bog

and Yahoo's Big League Stew blog.

Not only that, but when you search for this here blog on Google, the words "lowlife, front-running, chickenshit motherfucker" come up. Really, really good times.

So now that we O's fans have shown Big Cash, I mean Tex, how we feel about him, now its time to add another man to the shitlist. This guy will be a lot tougher to boo than Big Cash but if we see him around town, he should be given the same treatment. It's Fox Sports baseball columnist Ken Rosenthal.

Just like Big Cash, this guy has Baltimore ties (he worked for the Sun) and has plied his trade nationally by shitting on the Orioles at every opportunity. He piled on big time after the 30-3 debacle against Texas two years ago with a scathing column about O's owner Peter Angelos (alas, it is no longer online). Ok, fine. The criticism was warranted at that time. But then he goes out and writes a column saying we had no rational reason to boo Big Cash yesterday. No rational reason? Wha!?! Apparently Kenny doesn't read Hangar 39 much. Bottom line is, in Baltmo, we never forget a slight and Big Cash slighted us. It wasn't about the money, it wasn't about the Yankees. It was about the fact that Big Cash was a disingenous douchebag. If he had just said something to the effect of "It was about the money" or "I wanted to play for the Yankees the whole time," he wouldn't have got booed as bad.

As bad as Big Cash's foot-in-mouth disease, it was nothing like Rosenthal. Just read this self-aggrandizing interview with a fawning Rick Maese on the Sun's website. My favorite part is that Angelos owes HIM an apology for PA's calling him out after that Texas article two years ago. Give me a break. Please, Fox, do us all a favor and don't send this guy anywhere near Oriole Park for the rest of this season.

Orioles 10 Yankees 5- Magic Number: 161

Great way to start a season eh? Beating the dreaded, hated Yankees. Pounding $160 million fat ass C.C. Sabathia into submission (seriously, did you see the size of Sabathia out there? Dude looked like a sperm whale. As my old man would say, "He don't look like he's skipped too many meals.") It was one of the most satisfying opening day wins I can remember in quite some time. Yes, it was only one game, and the pitching was as suspect as O's fans expected. But who gives a crap? For one day, we whacked Sabathia and the Yanks pitchers around the ballpark.

The top 3 in the batting order, Nick "The Greek" Markakis, Brian Roberts and Adam Jones, looked lethal at the plate. The Yankees pitchers couldn't get them out all day. Cesar Izturis did more at the plate and in the field in one game than last year's shit sandwich of Freddy Bynum, Alex Cintron and Luis Hernandez did all season, even bringing a small measure of cosmic revenge for Jeffery Fuckin' Maier in 1996 with his home run.

But the real point of this little rant is to tell all the O's fans that were in attendance today: Bravo! You not only took back Oriole Park at Camden Yards, a place that for far too long had become the personal domain of the Sal's, Anthony's and Vinnie's making their way down from New York but you gave Mark Teixeira the booing of a lifetime. And it couldn't have happened to a bigger douchebag than Teixeira.

"Double talkin' jive
Get the money motherfucker
Cuz I got no more patience"
- Axl Rose

Here's the thing, Yankee fans and outsiders won't completely understand the venom we have towards Tex. They all think it was because he signed with the Yankees and not the Orioles. Or because he took the Yanks' $180 million over the O's $150 million. But really, the reason we gave him the Elway treatment and booed his ass all the way back to the Bronx wasn't because of either of those things. Oh sure, they were a part of it, but the real reason is because Tex, a Severna Park native, could have come back to Baltimore and been the hero of the day. He could have been the beacon of the O's return from the baseball graveyard. Some O's fans were looking forward to his free agent year for 3 seasons. A good portion of the fan base was ready to build him a statue to go with Johnny U's. The thought of a local boy coming home and helping to resurrect the Orioles to their place as a top organization was just too good to be true. He got everybody's hopes up by indicating through the press that coming back to play in Baltimore (or in D.C.) would be a real thrill for him. We salivated at the thought of this guy hitting his 35 homers and 100 RBIs in orange and black.

So when he revealed himself to be just another baseball mercenary, it felt like a real double-cross. But even then, we could live with Tex signing with the Yankees. We could live with the money. But when he gave that press conference for the New York media where he talked about how it was his dream to play for the Yankees, how Don Mattingly was his favorite player and how he would go to games at Camden Yards wearing a Yankees cap, well, that was the last straw. Tex wouldn't just get a token booing like Mike Mussina did. No no, he would get an epic kind of booing. A John Elway/Robert Irsay-style booing. The kind of vitorol that most people don't think Baltimore fans have but oh, we do.

My only worry going into today was that the Yankee fans would drown out the boos. But O's fans, you guys came up clutch.

We booed Tex so bad, he revealed himself as utterly and completely full of crap. "In a perfect world, I'd be an Oriole?" Uh, Tex, Judge Hangar has found you guilty of being a lowlife, front-running, chickenshit motherfucker. I got news for ya big man, that $180 mil bought you 8 more years of booings like this. We O's fans can take comfort in the fact that for 10 games a season for the next 8 YEARS, we can come to the Yard and boo Tex out of the ballpark. That we can look forward to a whole series of damage control statements like this one. You could have been a hero Tex but now, we O's fans hope when you go for crab cakes, the chef, the hostess, the patrons and the waiter boo your ass as well. Like Johnny Utah told Roach at the end of "Point Break," "I hope it was worth it."

So, it's 1-0 for the O's with a day off tomorrow before playing opening night against the Yanks on Wednesday. Until next time, if ya like an Orioles win, give me a HELL YEAH!!